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Turner Jokes

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Turner Brown Long NSFW

Skinny little white Irishman gets into an elevator, looks up and sees
this HUGE black guy standing next to him.

The big guy sees the little Irishman staring at him. He looks down at
the Irishman and says: "7 ft tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch penis, 3 pounds
of testicles, Turner Brown"
...

What did Tina Turner use to paint her kitchen?

Second hand emulsion.

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The story of Turner Brown (language sorta NSFW)

This short, tiny guy is riding in an elevator. Elevator stops and this big, tall, burly sumbitch gets in.

Big guy looks down at the little guy and says "Six foot eight, 280 pounds, twenty inch dick, ten pound left ball, ten pound right ball. Turner Brown" and sticks out his hand.

Littl...

Brock Turner sounds like a dish made from broccoli and turnips...

Which is fitting because he prefers his women to be in vegetative states!

What was tina turners pet name for Ike?

Beats me

One of Santa's reindeer served in the army with Tina Turner

Back then he was known as Private Dancer

These Brock Turner jokes are really distasteful.

Maybe they'd be okay if I was blackout drunk.

I'm good friends with 25 letters of the alphabet...

I don't know why.

Tina Turner was asked to invest in a rom-com reboot of Stephen King's clown movie

She asked, "what's love got to do with *It*?"

What airline does Sophie Turner use when she's filming Game of Thrones?

Luftsansa

Do you think they would write a book about Ellen Page's transformation into Elliot?

They really should.

It would be a real Page-turner

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For my cake day I’ve decided to share my favourite cake recipe

I used to have trouble remembering how I did it, so this time I wrote it down while making it.

You’ll need 1 cup sugar, 1 tsp. baking powder, 1 cup water, 1 tsp. salt , 1 cup brown sugar, Lemon juice, 4 large eggs, Nuts, 1...bottle Vodka,2 cups dried fruit.

Sample a cup of Vodka to che...

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[NSFW] A big, brawny guy crashes through the saloon doors:

“I’M BIG! I’M MEAN! AND I GOT A COCK THE SIZE OF TEXAS!”

A small, scrawny man standing nearby stammers out- “Wha... what’s your name?”

“TURNER BROWN!”

The little guy faints dead away. A few minutes later, the big guy manages to rouse him:

“WHAT AILS YA’ SON? ALL I SAI...

What do you call a female author?

Paige Turner

Eh, the audio book was good.

But it wasn't really a page turner.

How do you know a girl likes you?

If she gives you a handy, you know she likes you. Especially if she uses the proper handy motion.

How do you know a girl loves you?

She'll give you another handy!

Because what's love but a second handy motion?

Sorry, Tina Turner was just on the radio.

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Who sees you when you’re sleeping, and knows if you’re awake?

Convicted rapist Brock Turner.

If you're ever struggling to remember the spelling...

Santa wraps, Eminem raps, Brock Turner...

My friend asked if I would ever date the queen of rock, Tina

I was like hell yeah! I’d never Turner down!

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A company was looking to hire someone for an important position so they interviewed dozens of applicants and narrowed their search down to three people from different parts of Canada.

In an attempt to pick one of them, they decided to give them all the same question to answer within 24 hours, and the one with the best answer would get the job.

The question was:

A man and a woman are in bed, nude. The woman is lying on her side with her back facing the man, and the m...

So I'm reading a book about a movie star that was born a woman but then comes out as identifying as male, but no one gets upset or judgemental about it, they just accept it and get on with their lives. It's a good book...

It's a real page turner

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A white guy in the elevator...

So there's a white guy standing in the elevator. Just as the door are about to close, a huge black guy gets in. He stretches his huge arms around the elevator and he says:
- Hi. I'm two meters high. Two meters wide. Have a half meter penis and a kilogram per testicle. I'm Turner Brown!
After h...

Have you heard of the good-looking chiropractor who fixes neck injuries?

She's a head turner

Hey, have you read this book about automation? I'd recommend it.

It's a real page turner.

“I’ve been taking night courses for five months now, and I have an exam next week.” Said my neighbor Mike.

Mike: “For example, do you know who Euclid is?”

Me: “No.”

Mike: “He is the father of geometry. If you take night courses you would know this.”

The next day the same discussion took place:

Mike: “Do you know who Alexander Dumas is?”

Me: “No.”

Mike: “He is the...

Rudy Giuliani is such a bad defense attorney that.....

He would have gotten an innocent WHITE man convicted.



Or you could say,



He would have gotten Brock Turner jail time.

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A man steps into an elevator...

A man steps into an elevator, looks up and notices a huge dude.

It's just the two of 'em, so he says "Hi" so as not to be rude.

The big guy looks down and says "I'm 7 feet tall, 350 pounds,
got a 20-inch dick and 3 balls... Turner Brown."

The small guy stares for a moment, th...

2016:

The year Brock Turner got sentenced to 3 months but America got 4 years.

I once dated a mortician...

it didn't work out because I'm not that much of a mourning person.


Though she was a real head-turner.

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Biggest guy I've ever seen

So I was on my way to the bank to ask for a loan. I got into the elevator and it stops on the second floor. As the doors open a huge man ducks down to get into the elevator. I gulp and attempt to ask what floor? A hand the size of a diner plate reaches over and hits the close door button. This gi...

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The county's eldest man had just turn a 100 years old and local tv was reporting on the event...

The reporter had her crew set up in the living room of the retirement home where the man, born in 1919, was watching days pass by.

She sat on a chair in front of him, ready to start taping the feel-good segment of the night's local news.

"I'm with mister James Woodson, our county's eld...

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