In The Beginning Jokes - 27 Hilarious In The Beginning Jokes

In the beginning

God said, "Adam, I want you to do something for Me."

Adam said, "Gladly, Lord, what do You want me to do?"

God said, "Go down Into that valley."Adam said, "What's a valley?"

God explained it to him. Then God said, "Cross the river."

Adam said, "What's a river?"

God...

In the beginning there was nothing. God said "Let there be light!"

There was still nothing, but now you could see it.

In the beginning, God created the dog.

He told it, "For 20 years, you are to sit near the door and bark at whoever walks by."

The dog responded, "20 years? That's a long time to do that. How about I do that for 10 years and give you back the remainder?"

God agreed. He then created the monkey and told it, "For 20 years, you ...

In the beginning, God created Earth.

Everything else was made in China.

It wasn’t easy for the guy who invented the microphone in the beginning.

He got some really bad feedback.

What does the artist say in the beginning of the fencing match?

Avant-garde!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In the beginning, when Man was first created, all the members of the body held a meeting to decide who should be in charge.

The brain said that it should be in charge because it had the power of decision making and so controlled what everything else in the body did.

The eyes pointed out that they were the ones who saw everything, including whatever objectives the brain was going to decide to pursue, so they shou...

In the beginning, man walked on all fours.

Then man met woman. And ever since, man has walked erect.

In the beginning , their were only 25 letters in the alphabet

Nobody knew why .

What has T in the beginning, T in the middle, and T at the end?

A teapot.

What was Hungarian in the beginning of 20th century and went global in the 21st century?

Korona....

(Korona was the basic monetary unit of Hungary from 1892 to 1925)

In the beginning of time

Adam was taking a naked stroll through the Garden of Edan, naming the animals. He found a large creature with a long nose and big ears. He said "I think I'll call you Elephant." The elephant replied "How do you breathe through that thing?!"

In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth and all things that in them are: (Long)

Then he eventually created Adam, who was having a lot of fun in the garden, walking around naked, eating fruit from various trees, and hanging out with/naming all of the animals.

But one day, Adam began to feel lonely and decided to talk to God about it. In that discussion, Adam expressed th...

In the beginning ...

God created the world, and rested. Then God created man, and rested.

Then God created woman. Since then, neither God nor man has rested.

In the beginning God said let there be...

The chicken and the egg but I won’t tell you which one I made first.

In the beginning there was only Chaos.

Then God blessed it and said: "Be fruitful and multiply."

Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning all you need is two hearts and a diamond.

By the end you wish you had a club and spade.

Did you guys know that handicapped people were mentioned in the beginning of the bible?

Cain's family was dis-Abel'd.

My marriage is over.

I loved my wife Lorraine in the beginning, but for the longest time I've had a crush on my friend Claire-Lee Robins, who I know feels the same way about me. Eventually Lorraine found out about my secretive feelings, and just like that, she packed her bags and left.

I do feel bad about it all...

in the beginning God created Man and said "I have created the perfect woman and wife for you, and put her in all four corners of the globe"

then he made the world round and LAUGHED.

A guy was boarding a plane when he heard that the Pope was on the same flight

“This is exciting!” the guy thought. “I’ve always been a big fan of the Pope. Perhaps I’ll be able to see him in person.” Suddenly, the man realized his seat was right next to the Pope!

In the beginning, the gentleman was too shy to speak to His Holiness.

Shortly after take-off, the Po...

At an interview: “In the beginning, you’ll be earning 20 000, later on it can go up to 40 000.”

“OK, I’ll come again later then.”

In the beginning, God asked Adam to name the animals, so he began to invent names, “Lion, Tiger, Horse, Cow, Pig...” Then God said, “You must name the sea animals too.” Adam was exhausted, but he knew how important this was, so he continued...

“Sea lion, Tiger shark, Sea horse, Sea cow, Sea pig…”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A CNN reporter, a BBC reporter, and an Israeli commando are captured by ISIS in Syria.

The leader of the terrorists told them that he would grant them each one last request before they were beheaded.

The CNN Reporter said, "Well, I’m an American, so I’d like one last hamburger with French fries.”

The leader nodded to an underling who left and returned with the burger &am...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A professor told dirty jokes in class

the women wanted to protest it. So they decided that in the next time that the professor will start with these kind of jokes they all will leave the class as a protest.

Somehow the professor heard about the plan.

In the next lecture, in the beginning of the lecture he said: "In Swede...

A Spanish man who spoke no English went into a department store...

A Spanish man who spoke no English went into a department store to buy socks. He found his way to the menswear department where a young lady offered to help him.

"Quiero calcetines" said the man.

"I don't speak Spanish, but we have some very nice suits over here." said the salesgirl....

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Plan

In the beginning, there was a plan
And then came the assumptions
And the assumptions were without form
And the plan without substance

And the darkness was upon the face of the Workers
And they spoke among themselves saying,
"It is a crock of shit and it sti...

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