UPJOKE
firstprimaryneworiginativemodelcreationexamplemasterarchetypeoriginalitygroundbreakingseminalcreativepilotgerminal

Originally Jokes

Tesla founder Elon Musk is originally from South Africa, which is strange

You’d think he was from mad-at-gas-car.

the joke is originally in persian but i think it works in english too

kid:"hey mom are you adding carrots to that soup?"

mom:"yeah, i know you dont like carrots but dont worry, you wont taste the carrot at all"

kid:"then why do you add carrots?"

mom:"because it makes it tastier"

The Black Eyed Peas were originally just called The Peas

Until they collaborated with Chris Brown

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One of my favourite jokes from one of my favourite movies, Desperado. Originally delivered by my favourite director, Quentin Tarantino

This guy comes into a bar, walks up to the bartender. Says, "Bartender, I got me a bet for you. I'm gonna bet you $300 that I can piss into that glass over there and not spill a single, solitary drop." The bartender looks. I mean, we're talking, like, this glass is like a good ten feet away. He says...

I wasn't originally going to get a brain transplant

but then I changed my mind

a joke thats originally in arabic, but I think translates well.

3 men are smoking weed when the cops show up. Panicked, one hides undrneath a car, the other climbs up a telephone pole, and the last hides under a donkey.

The cops find the first guy and ask him if he was smoking weed, and he replies "im just a mechanic, and havent smoked a day in my life" s...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

This is a joke my dad told me. He said he originally heard it from his father, who heard it from his father before him.

A man goes to the doctor and says

"Doc, I think I have a tapeworm"

The doctor looks at him and says

"Well, we're all out of medicine for that, but there might be something else I can do for you. Come home, then come back tomorrow with an orange, a Twinkie, and a baseball bat"...

I was originally ok with my wife getting a white noise machine in our bedroom

turns out falling asleep to country music is harder than I thought

TIL in the early '80s, Michael Jackson almost founded a Mexican restaurant, and "Billy Jean" was originally recorded as a promo for the restaurant

He was going to call it "Nacho Daddy"

Canada was originally supposed to be called Canad.

But whenever anyone spelled it, it came out as:
C
A
N
A
D
Eh.


If you don’t get it, reading it out loud might help.

Originally delivered by Miss Piggy, I present the SHORTEST JOKE EVER:

"Pretentious? ...*MOI ? "*

It must have been a real shock when people found out the Monty Python theme was originally written by someone from the United States

After all, nobody expects the American composition

McDonalds was originally going to sell hot dogs...

They just felt like nobody would buy the mcweenie

A joke originally told in Arabic

The doctor asks him what is that dreaming problem.

"Every night I go to sleep," the man says. "I dream of a soccer match between a team of elephants and a team of ants"

"Ok, take this medicine," the doctor says. "It will fix the problem."

The man refuses though and says:
...

The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild was originally intended to be for Wii U

But mid-way through development they made the switch.

Fitted sheets were originally invented in 1682 in Salem, MA.

Unfortunately, they didn't catch on at that time since anyone who could actually fold them was accused of witchcraft and subsequently burned at the stake.

TIL: Units of measurement like feet and inches were originally based on the current monarch's sizes

That's why they were called rulers.

Atheism and Religion are but two sides of the same coin.

One prefers to use its head, while the other relies on tales.
(Joke Originally from The Joke Cafe - http://thejokecafe.com )

Did you know God was originally a comedian.

He was the first to make light of a situation.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I once dated a girl that owned a parrot. That thing would never shut the fuck up.

The parrot was cool, though.




^Originally ^an ^Anthony ^Jeselnik ^joke

Robinhood was originally a child kidnapper and murderer

But with what's going on today, it appears he also takes their money.

In which South African city was Batman originally from?

Capetown

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So Land O’Lakes got rid of the Native American on their package...

...But kept the land. Sounds oddly familiar.

Did you know The Stranglers were originally an octet called....

The Suffolk Eight.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Turns out using ad block pisses off more people than I originally thought.

None of the hot singles in my area wanted to have sex with me after I installed it.

Dickens " A tale of two cities " was originally published in two local newspapers.

It was the Bicester times, it was the Worcester times...

Where do French fries originally come from?

Grease

Did you know that the Pentagon was originally supposed to be an Octagon?

It’s true, but the contractor just kept cutting corners.

Originally an Arabic joke!

A small town had one pharmacy until another opened across from the old one. A guy walks in the new pharmacy and asks the pharmacists for some Aspirin the pharmacist hands him one giant tablet, the man asks, “How is this supposed to help? It’s not gonna kill me?” The pharmacist says “Oh no, you see, ...

This joke was originally written in Klingon; I hope I've got the translation right...

A new prisoner named Andy arrived at the prison. Andy had never been in prison before, so everything was new and strange.

Before long he met Bob, who sort of showed him around, introduced him to a few other prisoners, and helped him start to learn the ropes.

That evening, when t...

Why were hurricanes and tropical storms originally always given women's names?

Because when they first come along it's all wet and wild with lots of suckin and blowin, but by the time it's over and they leave - your house is gone, your boat's gone, your truck's gone...

In the famous severed horse head scene in The Godfather they originally were going to use a Swordfish.

It didn't really fit in with the marlin brand-though.

3 women on a plane (originally an arabic joke)

A lebanese, an Egyptian, and a Somali are on a plane. The pilot announces that the plane is crashing into the ocean.

The Lebanese woman starts quickly putting on make up. The other two ask her why and she says:"the rescue team would likely save the prettiest girl first."

The Egyptian...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My pet beagle was originally liberated from an animal testing laboratory

Had to let her go. Too expensive. The little fucker smoked 80 Marlboros a day.

J. K. Rowling originally called the secret wizarding area hidden in London Diagon Square.

But then she decided to come at it from a different angle.

So, I’m originally from Spain, and one the strangest things I discovered when moving to America was the was you hold your pens.

In Spain, we hold them straight up, whereas you hold them slightly on the side. I would always get weird looks when writing with my fountain pen. It’s not all that surprising.
After all, nobody expects the Spanish Ink Position.

I'm from the friendzone originally

But now I live in the bae area.

I’m from Pittsburgh, originally — and just hang out with my mom for a little bit, you know?

Wanted to go home and hang out with her for a little bit, you know, help her out, cheer her up. But all my mom cares about now is the lottery and me running errands for her. Like, every day. Every day, it’s, “Anthony, go play my numbers. Go play my numbers, please. I don’t want to miss out today.” F...

An etymologist, an entomologist, and an etiologist walk into a bar.

"What'll it be?" The bartender asks.

"I'll have a beer," the etymologist says. "A word which comes from Latin *bibere*, meaning "to drink".

"I'll have a Campari," the entomologist says. "It was originally dyed with crushed beetles!"

The bartender gets them their drinks. "And for...

I originally wasn't thrilled at my girlfriend's idea for me to have a beard...

But it's growing on me.

Little known fact, in the 70s, Jim Morrison was originally the head of Microsoft. But after a few years, he was fired and replaced by Bill Gates.

Apparently, he made better Doors than Windows.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.