UPJOKE
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I've been hitting the gym for the last 3 hours.

Boy... my fist hurt. Barely made a dent.
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My doctor friend is addicted to hitting people on their knees to test their reflexes.

He..really gets a kick out of it.
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I think my doctor is hitting on me.

She said I had a cute liver failure.
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A girl I’m hitting on just caught the Corona virus

I might have a chance now, as she’s lost all her taste...
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If two Homeless people are hitting each other with a cardboard boxes...

Is it a pillow fight?
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I don't believe in hitting my children as punishment

So I send them to school wearing crocs and skechers and let other kids beat them instead
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"STOP HITTING YOURSELF, STOP HITTING YOURSELF" the bully chanted

But I could not, for he popped off my prosthetics
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I don’t believe in hitting my kids as punishment

I just do it for fun
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This morning my wife walked in and started hitting me with a bouquet of purple flowers…

She woke up and chose violets.
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So, I purchased tickets and attended a competition for hitting bongs…

It was a Rip Off
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I've been hitting the bottle pretty hard recently.

Still can't get the last of that ketchup out though.
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My Granny thought the Doctor was hitting on her after her medical....

Apparently Her hearing is going and she's got Acute Angina.
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Yo mama so fat. . .

I swerved my car to avoid hitting her and ran out of gas.
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Judge: How could you kill 24 people? What the hell was wrong with you?

Driver:I was driving at 50mph when I saw two men crossing the road. On the roadside, there was a restaurant with outside seating. I wanted to apply the brakes, but I realised they were not working. So I had to take a decision: Either hit the 2 men or run into the restaurant.

Judge: Hit the 2 ...
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After almost hitting 2 cars, a man gets pulled over by a police car

The officer asked,"can I see your license, please". After rummaging through his stuff, he passes his license to the officer. "Sir, your license indicates that you must wear glasses to drive".

"Oh," the man said,
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"I didn't see that".
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