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Two blondes Cindy and Stacy run into each other on monday...

Cindy : Hi Stacy! Did you have a good weekend? I went out to the club on saturday!

Stacy: OMG! I was there too! I danced with two Brazilian guys who were at the club!

Cindy: Oh wow! How many is a Brazillion?

World War II, occupied Poland - three partisans who survived a firefight run into a village, fleeing a Wehrmacht squad. Exhausted, they stop by a well...

"They've surrounded the village" one of them says. "There's no way out, sarge!"


"Let's hide in the well" the sergeant responds. "We can hold on to the bucket and brace ourselves against the top walls. Just remember, if anyone comes near, we have to act like the echo, or they'll get suspic...

Two old acquaintances run into each other and strike up a conversation.

One says, "You look great! I swear you're younger now than when we first met. What's your secret?"

The other says, "Well, thanks. I know it sounds crazy, but I've been eating a lot of Italian bread lately."

"Italian bread?"

"I know. But it just gives me lots of energy, and I'm a...

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Two dyslexics run into a bank and shout

Air in the hands mother stickers! This is a fuck up!

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Every once in a while you run into a truly eccentric proctologist

You know... one crazy ass doctor

Day and Noon run into each other and Day says, “Bye Noon!” Noon replies with:

“It’s high Noon.”

I made this im proud of myself-

Name the smaller rivers that run into the Nile

The Juveniles

What do you call it when two dinosaurs run into each other?

A Jurassic jam.

Why do rats run into a trap for a little bit of cheese? They are so stupid.

Oh, honey, I'm home!

Why would Donald Trump run into an active school shooting, even if unarmed?

Because he knows one of his supporters would never shoot him

A poor man, a well off middle class man, and an extremely wealthy man in the 1% find themselves at the same event. The poor man and middle class man run into the wealthy man when they find out there's complimentary donuts and arrive to see him wrapping up 10 of the last 12 donuts and pocketing them

As the wealthy man is leaving he walks up to the middle class guy, motions to the poor man and whispers in his ear: "watch out, he's trying to take your donut.

How far does a dog run into the woods?

Half way in. The other half he's running out.

A group of 5 college freshmen are going away for holiday by train when they runs into another group of 5 seniors that are taking the same train.

Both groups goes into the ticket booth. The freshmen purchased 5 tickets while the seniors only purchased 1 ticket for the entire group. Puzzled, the freshmen ask the seniors why the other four of them doesn't have any tickets. The seniors simply say: you will see.

On the train when the train...

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A carpenter and a professor run into each other...

Two old friends, a carpenter and a professor, run into each other. They chitchat a bit and they starting to talk about work.

Professor: "So, what are you working with nowadays?".

Carpenter: "I'm a carpenter. And you?"

Professor: "I'm a professor.

Carpenter: "In what fi...

A newlywed couple run into their bedroom and close the door behind them. The wife looks into her husband’s eyes and says “take off my shirt, baby”

So he takes her shirt off. Then the wife says “take off my pants.” So he takes her jeans off. She smiles and says “now take off my bra.” He smiles and takes it off. “Now take off my panties” she says. He smiles even more and takes her parties off. Then the wife says “Now don’t let me catch you weari...

Two fish are swimming in a river when they both run into a brick wall...

One looks at the other and says "dam"

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Dad was in the field plowing when he noticed Mary run into the barn.

A few seconds later Bruce runs into the barn after her. After about 20 minutes they still haven't come out of the barn, so Dad decides to see what they are doing.


As he walks into the barn he see's Bruce on top of Mary and he was going to town. Dad thinks to himself that dirty bastard a...

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You are riding a horse being chased by a lion and about to run into a giraffe. What do you do?

. . . Get your drunk ass off the carousel.

It's kind of nice to run into your ex on the street.

She flew at least a good 25 yards away, liberating experience.

What's the most awkward place to run into a homeless person?

On your way to the Coinstar... "ehh, no i don't have any spare change, I was just on my way to turn this into real money"

3 Germans run into a bar

The rest got moved down by Thompsons.

Two Engineers Run into Each Other

One of them is riding a shiny new bike.
Engineer 1: "Where'd you get that bike?"
Engineer 2: "Well, yesterday a beautiful woman rode up to me on this bike, took off all her clothes, and said I could have anything I wanted.
So, I took the bike."
Engineer 1: "That was smart... the clothes...

Why did the python programmer run into the pole?

He couldn't C it.

Don't worry, i'll cout<<"myself";

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John and Mike, both of whom had harelips, hadn't seen each other for 10 years since high school. They happen to run into each other on the street, but John no longer has a harelip.

Mike cries "Yohn! Iss peen so yong thinth I theen you! Put tell me whad' happen wiss your harelip?" John says, "It's amazing isn't it? I don't know why it happened, but one night my wife gave me oral sex, and when I woke up the next day it was all healed. Promise me you'll try the same thing and see...

Two rednecks run into each other on a rural country road...

One of them is carrying a big bag with the label "chickens".

The other notices the bag and says "if I guess how many chickens there is in the bag can I have one of them?"

The one holding the bag says "hell if you guess how many chickens im holding in this bag ill give you both of them...

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Two cockroaches run into each other in a week old baguette

One says to the other, 'Hey, I thought I was the only roach from around these parts. Where you from?'

The other responds, 'Who, me? I was born in bread right here.'

What happens to an Asian guy when they run into a wall with a full erection?

They break their nose!

What do you do if you’re drunk and you run into your ex wife?

Reverse to make sure.

Why did the dog run into the corner every time the door bell rang?

because he is a Boxer

Why did the horse run into the bar?

He didn't jump high enough.

Sometimes you run into people who just make your day more bearable.

Those people are called bartenders.

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Three men run into a yeti...

Three men get stranded in Antarctica. While searching for a place to camp out, they run into a yeti. The yeti says "Each of you bring me a fruit or I'll kill you."

The first man comes back with strawberries and the yeti says "Shove them up your ass." He does so and begins crying.

The s...

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