Why can't dinosaurs clap?

Because they're dead.

If you're procrastinating and you know it, clap your hands!!!

I'll clap later...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Once at a gig, Bono stopped everything and asked the crowd for complete silence. He started slowly clapping his hands and he said “every time I clap my hands, a starving child in Africa dies....”

....and then one man in the crowd shouted “well then stop clapping your hands then you cunt!”

What has two hands but can never clap?

A T-Rex


-courtesy of my boss

What do Iron Man and people who clap during Endgame have in common? (NO SPOILERS FOR ENDGAME)

Both of them are Downeys.

Is manual arousal unhealthy?

Using two hands can result in the clap!

What is an onomatopoeia for gonorrhea?

Applause? The clap!

I’ve had the clap so many times now...

It’s more like a round of applause.

Why is it that when other people wear their uniforms in the airport people clap?

But when I wear my uniform people shout things like

"It's an escaped convict! Run!"

What would be a bad gift for an epileptic teenage boy?

Clap on lights

I've had the clap at least 12 times

At this point it should really be called the applause

I always clap along to Pharrell Williams' song "Happy"

Because just like a room without a roof, I feel utterly and completely useless

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