This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My elderly donkey got bludgeoned badly by a large horned mountain goat now I can't walk right.

In other words my old ass got rammed.

What do you call an Eevee evolution that specializes in melee?

Bludgeon

What did my step-dad say before bludgeoning by brother to death with a vacuum cleaner?

Dyson.

Joe's Talking Trees

Joe was a simple and serious man. He was a carpenter in a small village named Arge Oaks where he owned the store "Joe's Carpentry."

For years Joe impressed his fellow neighbors with the highest quality carpentry work. Some people in town complained he was a bit too expensive, but no one ever...

Intelligent Crows

When I was in school, some professors noticed that the crows on campus were astoundingly intelligent. These crows recognized that when lights were green, cars could go and when they were red, cars would stop. Using this knowledge, the crows would put nuts on the crosswalk so that during a green ligh...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A bear walks into a bar

A bear walks into a beef and bourbon bar and orders a beer.

The bartender tells him "We don't serve beer to bears in beef and bourbon bars"

The bear is pissed and shouts "Give me a fucking beer!"

The bartender replies "We don't serve beer to bears in beef and bourbon bars who be...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man is on trial for murdering his wife...

The judge looks down and reads the charges, "The defendant, Mr. William Jones, has been charged with bludgeoning his wife to death with a hammer. How do you plead?"

Before the defendant can answer a man at the back of the room cries out, "YOU BASTARD!"

"Order in this court room!" the j...

Onions

My friend told me that onions are the only edible plant that can make you cry.

I bludgeoned his head with a watermelon.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An alpaca and a llama walks into a bat...

And they both get bludgeoned to death. Thank you autocorrect for fucking up my joke.

18th Century Arms Dealer Receives Concussion on First Day at Work

A burgeoning blunderbuss broker braved and bore the brunt of a bludgeoning to the brain.

My parents always say honesty is the best policy. So I told my my mum I was going clubbing with friends last night.

I don’t get why she’s so upset with me, we only bludgeoned the one guy before the cops came.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Beating up band nerds with witty comebacks

*Impales Flutist* "Must be flute poisoning"

*Bludgeons French Horn Player* "Am I making you horny?"

*Throws Tuba player off cliff* "Tu...bad"

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.