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Grand National Jokes

Just been told a woman won the grand national. Unbelievable.

No chance my missus would get over all those fences.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two horses are chatting after winning their respective races at the grand national...

"I say old chap, you did fantastically on your race! How did you manage?"

"Well to be honest I'm a little confused, I couldn't break out of the pack, couldn't make any ground when about a third of the way round the course I felt this burning heat, right up my arse, so I powered on trying to g...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Bought a really old race horse today.

I have called him "My Face." and have entered him in "The Grand National"

I don't care if he doesn't win, I just want to hear a load of posh fuckers shouting

"Come on My Face."

A donkey is having a drink in a pub

when he spots a horse at the bar so goes over for a chat. "What do you do for a living then?" asks the donkey. "I'm a racehorse" comes the reply. "Oh right" says the donkey, "have you won any races then?". "Well", says the horse, " on the flat I've won the 2,000 guineas & the derby, & over t...

A donkey is sitting at a bar...

A donkey is sitting at a bar after a long day’s work carrying kids around on the beach. He’s having a quiet drink by himself when a thoroughbred race horse joins him.

They’re having a a nice time until the pub calls last orders.

As they’re leaving the horse asks the donkey to join him...

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