UPJOKE
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In WW2 you could identify which nationality your opponent was from by observing their behaviors

If they respond to threats with precise rifle shots, they're British



If they respond with heavy machine gun fire, they're German



If they retreat, they're French



If they switch to your side, they're Italian



If they apologize, they're Canadi...

What nationality were Adam and Eve?

Soviet, of course. Who else would walk around barefoot and naked, have one apple to share between them, and think they were in Paradise?

What do u call someone who has altered their nationality?

An alternative

What's Santa's nationality?

North Polish.

Two very old men of unimportant european nationality meet

While talking, one asks: "You watching the football game?" (Soccer for our American friends)

The other says: "Who's playing?"

"Austria-Hungary", says the first.

"Against whom?"

Regardless of skin color, nationality, or religion, as a species, we are all meant to be friends and brothers

After all, we are *homie sapiens*

Adam and Eve’s Nationality

A Brit, a Frenchman and a Russian are viewing a painting of Adam and Eve frolicking in the Garden of Eden. "Look at their reserve, their calm," muses the Brit. "They must be British." "Nonsense," the Frenchman disagrees. "They're naked, and so beautiful. Clearly, they are French." "No clothes, no sh...

A Russian, a Frenchman and an Englishman argued about Adam's nationality.

A Russian, a Frenchman and an Englishman argued about Adam's nationality.

The Frenchman said, "Of course Adam was French. Look how passionately he made love to Eve!"

The Englishman said, "Of course Adam was British. Look how he gave his only apple to the lady, like a real gentleman."...

Three village women are walking home from a trip to town...

(Full disclosure: I modified this joke from one in *The Pretty Good Joke Book*)

(Disclaimer: You can assign any nationality or ethnicity you like to these women. To avoid controversy, I'm calling them "Poltroonian")

So these three Poltroonian village women are walking back to their vi...

Border guard asks the passenger:

-Nationality?

- Russian

-occupation?

- no, just a visit.

You can often tell someone's nationality by where they're driving.

For example, you can tell if someone's likely from the US if their car is in the _right_ lane.

You can tell if someone is likely from the UK if their car is in the _left_ lane.

You can tell if someone is from China if their car is _on the sidewalk._

What nationality are always at the end of the race?

The Finnish.

What's the nationality of someone with many knees?

Polynesian

The border guard asks Napoleon ‘Can you tell me your nationality?’

‘Course I can.
Corsican.’

Whats the difference between an archeologist and a grave robber ?

Nationality

What nationality are you when you walk into the bathroom?

Russian.

What nationality are you while you're in the bathroom?

European.

What nationality are you when you walk out of the bathroom?

Finish.

An Englishman, a Frenchman, and a Latvian were arguing about the nationality of Adam and Eve.

An Englishman, a Frenchman, and a Latvian were arguing about the nationality of Adam and Eve.

"They must have been English," the Englishman offered. "After all, only a gentleman would share his last apple with a lady."

"They surely were French," the Frenchman asserted. "They were so ho...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the only nationality named after a body part?

Japa-knees

What nationality are they?

There's this brothel on a small hill above the town i live in. There's two guys, one going up the hill, and one coming down the hill.

How can you tell what nationality they are?

Rather easily. The one going up the hill is Russian, the one coming down the hill is Finnish.

What nationality is a happy tin?

American.

Soviet era joke from my friend

A man walked into the Kremlin and told the receptionist: "I am a spy, I want to surrender to the Soviet government". The receptionist asked "Alright, what's your nationality?" "I'm American" the man replied. The receptionist checked his booklet and said "American spy, surrendering... Go to room 107....

An Austrian travels to France where he has to pass security.

Airport security:"Nationality?"

Austrian: "Austria"

Airport security: "Occupation?"

Austrian: "Nein, nein, only vacation"

Angela Merkel arrives in Athens airport. "Nationality?" asks the immigration officer.

"German," she replies.
"Occupation?"
"No, just here for a few days

What nationality was the White Rabbit from Alice in Wonderland?

He was Russian!

What nationality are Sprinters?

They Russian.

I'll also see myself out.

German tourist visits Poland

Guy at the airport: Nationality?

German dude: German

Guy at the airport: Occupation?

German dude: Nein, nein, only vacation.

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