Nationality Jokes

If they respond to threats with precise rifle shots, they're British



If they respond with heavy machine gun fire, they're German



If they retreat, they're French



If they switch to your side, they're Italian



If they apologize, they're Canadi... read more

Soviet, of course. Who else would walk around barefoot and naked, have one apple to share between them, and think they were in Paradise?

‘They must have been English,’ declared the Englishman. Only a gentleman would share his first apple with a woman.’

‘They were undoubtedly French,’ said the Frenchman. ‘Who else could seduce a woman so easily?’

‘I think they were Russians,’ said the Russian. ‘After all, who else could ... read more

While talking, one asks: "You watching the football game?" (Soccer for our American friends)

The other says: "Who's playing?"

"Austria-Hungary", says the first.

"Against whom?"

North Polish

Russian.

What nationality are you while you're in the bathroom?

European.

What nationality are you when you walk out of the bathroom?

Finish.

Cuban.

"German," she replies.
"Occupation?"
"No, just here for a few days

Polynesian

Polish

A Brit, a Frenchman and a Russian are viewing a painting of Adam and Eve frolicking in the Garden of Eden. "Look at their reserve, their calm," muses the Brit. "They must be British." "Nonsense," the Frenchman disagrees. "They're naked, and so beautiful. Clearly, they are French." "No clothes, no sh... read more

Border guard: Nationality?

Tourist: Russian.

Border guard: Occupation?

Tourist: No, no, just visiting this time.

An alternative

The Finnish.

A Russian, a Frenchman and an Englishman argued about Adam's nationality.

The Frenchman said, "Of course Adam was French. Look how passionately he made love to Eve!"

The Englishman said, "Of course Adam was British. Look how he gave his only apple to the lady, like a real gentleman."... read more

Guy at the airport: Nationality?

German dude: German

Guy at the airport: Occupation?

German dude: Nein, nein, only vacation.

‘Course I can.
Corsican.’

After all, we are *homie sapiens*

There's this brothel on a small hill above the town i live in. There's two guys, one going up the hill, and one coming down the hill.

How can you tell what nationality they are?

Rather easily. The one going up the hill is Russian, the one coming down the hill is Finnish.

American.

They Russian.

I'll also see myself out.

Airport security:"Nationality?"

Austrian: "Austria"

Airport security: "Occupation?"

Austrian: "Nein, nein, only vacation"

He was Russian!

Polish Border Control Officer: "Nationality?" German: "German" Polish Boder Control Officer: "Occupation?" German: "No, just visiting"

An American, a Briton, and a North Korean look at a picture of Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden and try to figure out what nationality they are.

The American says, "Look at how free and independent they are, they must be Americans."

The Briton says, "What are you talking about, look... read more

A Venezuelan and American arrive in Hell at the same time, Hell is short-staffed, and so they have orientation together. They are told part of their punishment is eating buckets of human excrement. Normally they would be segregated by nationality, but since they are together now they can each choose... read more

and he is stopped to be checked by an officer.

"Name?" the officer asked.

"Vlad Dobrynin," the man answered.

"Nationality?"

"Russian."

"Occupation?"

"No, no, just visiting."