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Diffuse Jokes

Did you about the parishioner attending mass this morning who was accidentally whacked in the head with a ceremonial scent diffuser?

Apparently the guy was pretty incensed

IAMA professional bomb diffuser. Ask me anything.

edit: wow, this blew up

Two newspaper bosses are sent into a huge bank vault and find it stacked to the ceiling with piles of 24-karat bars. They can keep them for good, but only if they are able to diffuse a bomb first...

Editor 1: Thanks for the gold.

Editor 2: This blew up.

Some engineers were arguing about God.

One says, "God was clearly a mechanical engineer. Just look at the structure of the bones, how they're shaped to carry their loads without wasted weight, how the joints interlock to give free movement, how the muscles are optimally placed as actuators with the best leverage."

The second repli...

An engineer in Hell

An engineer dies and goes up to the Pearly Gates where St. Peter greets him. "Come in, come in." says Peter, "We can always use another engineer." But the engineer is not so sure he wants to go to Heaven. He is a builder and a doer and is afraid he will be bored. So he asks if he can have a look at ...

A man was telling his friend he was upset.

His friend asked what was wrong.
"Well my wife got a new tattoo on her waist to commemorate our marriage." said the man looking more and more upset.
His friend, trying to diffuse the situation, said "Well, that's great! What is it?"
The upset man looked around and took a deep breath, looke...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two horses live on a farm.

Their names are Harry and Larry. Harry and Larry are best friends. They do everything together, they eat together, play together, sleep together...

One day, while Harry and Larry were grazing in the fields, Larry said to Harry, “Harry, I think it’s time we figure out who the Alpha Horse on th...

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