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Sarcasm Jokes

“Sarcasm doesn’t get you anywhere “

Me: well it got me to the sarcasm world championships in Peru 98

“Really “

Me: No

North Korea bans sarcasm

What a great idea.

Whats does /s mean?

And please, no sarcasm in the answers.

The great thing about sarcasm is

Everyone always gets it.

Why couldn’t the thief understand sarcasm?

>!He took things literally!<

What do affordable healthcare and sarcasm have in common?

Most Americans don't get it.

Boss: "Sarcasm will get you nowhere in life"!!

Me: "Well It got me to the 'International Sarcasm' finals in Santiago 2011

Boss: "Really"?

Me: "No"

Sarcasm

Chuck Fullmer, 38, yesterday became the first American to get to grips with the concept of sarcasm.
"It was weird" Fullmer said. "I was in London and like, talking to this guy and it was raining and he pulled a face and said, "Great weather eh?" and I thought - "Wait a minute, no way is it gr...

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Three couples in line to enter the Pearly Gates…

St. Peter addresses the first couple. He reads from the big book and finally looks up at the man and says with a dripping sarcasm, “You want to get into heaven? You were the cheapest son of a gun who ever lived! You didn’t give to charity. You didn’t help out family members. You were so obsessed wit...

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As an Asexual person, I avoid sarcasm.

I'm really bad at fucking with people

(....I am sorry, I'll see myself out)

In the future water will be like sarcasm

No one will get it.

National Sarcasm Society

Like we need your support...

My 4 year old son just got me with a dad joke I hadn't heard before.

My son was playing with his teenage mutant ninja turtle action figures, and was making them fight each other.

Me: "Where are their weapons? Are they just fighting with their bare hands?"

Son: "No, they are fighting with their turtle hands."

Doesn't have a clue why I was laughin...

What is the similarity between a good woman and sarcasm ?

They are both hard to get

TIL Bigfoot could be used for supressing sarcasm.

He was a sass quash.

I went to a sarcasm convention.

A girl came up to me and said, "What brings you here?"

I said, "My feet."

What's the difference between sarcasm and lying?

I don't know, I'm just the president.

A little boy wants his toy,

A little boy wants his toy, so he walks up to his mother and says "Mom, give me my toy." His mother responds by saying, "What are the magic words?" So the little boy says the magic words and his mom gives him his toy.

The next day, the little boy starts kindergarten. At snack time, the littl...

My first-grade teacher told me sarcasm wouldn't get me anywhere

Guess she was right.

I don't get all this hate and sarcasm against the cybertruck.

Slap a minigun on its back, and it's Halo irl.

There is literally no way to convey sarcasm through text

/s

Why do thieves have such a hard time understanding sarcasm?

They take things literally

Sarcasm is like a good game of chess

Most people don't know how to play chess.

My dad was trying to explain what sarcasm is the other day

I didn’t really understand what he was saying, but he told me he loved me!

Sayings always said with sarcasm. Any examples?

I hate to say I told you so.

No sarcasm: I...I truly hate to say I told you so.

I'm bad at reading social cues, can't make eye contact, am really good at drawing, and don't pick up on sarcasm...

I think I might be artistic.

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I love Mondays...

It's when I take my weekly sarcasm class.

People on the Internet are so stupid...

They can never detect my sarcasm.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was in a bar last night, saw this beautiful woman...

... like a supermodel.

I walked up, I was like "Hey, where you from? What do you do?"

She goes, "Oh, me, I live here in San Francisco. I am a brain surgeon."

I don't know if this makes me sexist but I was really impressed...

Most women... can't pull of sarcasm.

...

Praying hands

In Tulsa, OK, on the campus of Oral Roberts University (Oral Roberts was one of those famous money hungry televangelists) there is a giant statue of a set of praying hands. It was discovered one day that they had broken apart and separated. They had construction engineers, all kinds of equipment, ex...

I phoned my insurance agent earlier and asked him for a quote.

He said " I have nothing to declare but my genius. Oscar Wilde, 1882 ".

I replied "Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit. Oscar Wilde, 1882 ".

Tim and Jack were argueing in class

Time and Jack were arguing in class when suddenly the teacher comes in and scolds them

"Now boys, I will show each of you humility, the both of you must compliment the other in front of the class" said the teacher

Tim goes first by saying, "I'm sorry Jack, I will never be as good at ar...

Two Africans and an Englishman are caught jaywalking in the U.S...

The police let the two Africans off with a warning. Then they pull their guns on the Englishman and shoot him eight times, even though his hands are up in surrender.

"Well, so much for stereotypes!" says the first South African.

"Was that sarcasm?" says the second. "He was the only o...

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The Halloween Party

A couple was invited to a swanky Halloween party by a family friend, in which all attendees were required to wear a mask. The wife got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone, and to make sure to say hello to her family. He, being a devoted husband, protested, but she argue...

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