Sarcasm Jokes

Everyone always gets it.

Me: well it got me to the sarcasm world championships in Peru 98

“Really “

Me: No

>!He took things literally!<

And please, no sarcasm in the answers.

Most Americans don't get it.

They are both hard to get

What a great idea.

No one will get it.

Chuck Fullmer, 38, yesterday became the first American to get to grips with the concept of sarcasm.
"It was weird" Fullmer said. "I was in London and like, talking to this guy and it was raining and he pulled a face and said, "Great weather eh?" and I thought - "Wait a minute, no way is it gr... read more

Me: "Well It got me to the 'International Sarcasm' finals in Santiago 2011

Boss: "Really"?

Me: "No"

Slap a minigun on its back, and it's Halo irl.

He was a sass quash.

I don't know, I'm just the president.

Like we need your support...

They take things literally

I didn’t really understand what he was saying, but he told me he loved me!

I think I might be artistic.

/s

A girl came up to me and said, "What brings you here?"

I said, "My feet."

Most people don't know how to play chess.

A little boy wants his toy, so he walks up to his mother and says "Mom, give me my toy." His mother responds by saying, "What are the magic words?" So the little boy says the magic words and his mom gives him his toy.

The next day, the little boy starts kindergarten. At snack time, the littl... read more

I hate to say I told you so.

No sarcasm: I...I truly hate to say I told you so.

Years ago, in a very toxic workplace, my manager called me to a meeting and told me that I am using sarcasm and it undermines his authority

I looked at him and asked: Who, me?

--- true story

He asked me not to call during working hours unless it was an emergency, but I wasn't sure what car trouble would be considered. I took a chance and when he picked up he sounded very worried. I told him it was the car, and that I believed there was water in the carburetor. His tone changed to sarcas... read more

My son was playing with his teenage mutant ninja turtle action figures, and was making them fight each other.

Me: "Where are their weapons? Are they just fighting with their bare hands?"

Son: "No, they are fighting with their turtle hands."

Doesn't have a clue why I was laughin... read more

In Tulsa, OK, on the campus of Oral Roberts University (Oral Roberts was one of those famous money hungry televangelists) there is a giant statue of a set of praying hands. It was discovered one day that they had broken apart and separated. They had construction engineers, all kinds of equipment, ex... read more

The wife got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the
party alone. He, being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued
and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed and there
was no need for his good time to be spoiled by her not going. So he
took his costume ... read more

An angry housewife met her husband at the front door and immediately noticed he smelled of alcohol and perfume.

"I assume," she said with her most acidic sarcasm, "That there must be a very good reason for your coming home at six o'clock in the morning with booze on your breath and another wo... read more

Three things I hate:

1. Vandalism
2. Lists
3. Sarcasm

Sarcasm.

Time and Jack were arguing in class when suddenly the teacher comes in and scolds them

"Now boys, I will show each of you humility, the both of you must compliment the other in front of the class" said the teacher

Tim goes first by saying, "I'm sorry Jack, I will never be as good at ar... read more