There is one common point between dark humor and make-a-wish kids...

It's that they will never get old

What do you call cows that have a sense of humor?

Laghing stock..

[Dark Humor] Why can’t orphans go on field trips.

Because they need a parent signature.

My wife and I share the same sense of humor.

We have to because she doesn’t have one.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Today a flat earther friend of mine told me the earth was as as flat as my sense of humor.

I told him his girlfriends ass would've been a better comparison.

Dark humor is like water

Not everyone gets it

What's dark humor?

A boy asks his mom: "Hey, mom, what is dark humor?"

"See that disabled man over there?" She says

"But mom, I'm blind"


"Exactly, honey"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Self deprecating romanian humor

Three explorers are caught by a savage tribe and brought before the chief. An american, a romanian and a russian.

chief says "we've had a good hunt so we won't eat you outright, but instead, for the tribe's benefit we will offer you three ways out: pay 100$, take a good beating or eat a bucke...

Yknow what they say about a good dark humor joke

It hits harder than a drunk parent.

A little IDAHO HUMOR From John H. Hill

A Girl Potato and Boy Potato had eyes for each other,

and finally they got married, and had a little sweet

potato, which they called 'Yam'.

Of course, they wanted the best for Yam.

When it was time, they told her about the facts of life.

They warned her about going...

Ever wondered why "I hate my life" is millennial humor?

As a Zoomer, I'm here to say that the phrase actually applies to members of Gen Z as well.

The only difference is that for millennials, it's funny.

I'm serious.

A little computer humor

There's no place like 127.0.0.1

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My favorite 4th of July joke: Do you know why Americans spell color, humor, and behavior that way they do?

"Because fuck u that's why."

-- George Washington, Revolutionary War

Dark humor

Why did people stare at the guy eating baby back ribs

Because he was at an abortion clinic

I love self derogratory humor

I never run out of jokes

I love self depreciating humor

…..especially in old age homes.

They may not show it but they are dying to hear more!

What is a blind person's favorite type of humor?

Dark Humor.

I hate my job at the morgue, nobody gets my sense of humor.

I swear I’m working with a bunch of stiffs.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Girls -- Please have a sense of humor!

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so
much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have
never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I w...

My gf thinks I have a good sense of humor.

Until she found out this sub reddit.

Interviewer: So what are your strengths and weaknesses. Me: I have a decent sense of humor but my General Knowledge is not so good.

Interviewer: Ok, then tell us a joke.

Me: Knock Knock.

Interviewer: Who?

Me: 2nd US President.

Interviewer: 2nd US President who?

Me: Like I said, my General knowledge isn't good.

Dark Humor

A kid asked his father “What is dark humor?” The Dad responds with “See that man in the wheel chair, tell him to stand up.” And the kid’s only response was “But dad I’m blind.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My friend asked me what dark humor is

I said "It's like sex"

A friend said my sense of humor was so dark...

that is was like a black hole. Not even a light pun could escape it.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Post-humor

A country man milks a cow. Only the bucket was half full the cow jerks its leg and knocks over the bucket. Then the man found some rope and standing on a stool tied the cow by the leg to the crossbar on
the ceiling.

When the bucket is half full again the cow kicks the bucket again and it o...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Dark humor

The craziest thing happen to me, the other day I was just chilling thinking in my head I decided I was gonna commit suicide, never gonna do that shit again because I almost died.

Why do iPhone have a great sense of humor?

Because they crack up easily.

COVID Humor

Half of us are going to come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks. The other half will come out with a drinking problem.

I used to spin that toilet paper like I was on Wheel of Fortune. Now I turn it like I'm cracking a safe.

I need to practice social-distancing from the refrigerato...

My brother told me that I don't have a sense of humor.

So I broke his spine

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I told my editor, "I don't think toilet humor is funny."

She replied, "I agree. And, it's a shitty job, but someone has to do it. Now, get back to writing before you flush your career away."

My father was a lawyer with an interesting sense of humor...

When I was young, he would always tell me, “Son, you can pick your friends, and you can pick your crack, but you can’t pick your friend’s crack... ..and this is mostly because in today’s world there’s a decent chance it’s laced with fentanyl, and you can run into some serious liability issues, (like...

My humor is so dry...

I'm legitimately worried about stray fireworks this weekend.

I have a very dark sense of humor

Its so dark that cops are beating it to death.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It is said that sarcasm is the lowest form of humor.

Poop! /s

“Poor old fool.” thought the well-dressed gentleman as he watched an old man fish in a puddle outside a pub. So he invited the old man inside for a drink. As they sipped their whiskeys, the gentleman thought he’d humor the old man and asked, “So how many have you caught today?”

The old man replied, “You’re the eighth.”

Apparently the CDC is even limiting JOKES now? The CDC put out humor guidelines today asking Americans to limit themselves to

only telling inside jokes

Why do Reddit astrologers not try to divine humor from the movement of planets?

Because the real joke is in the comets!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Birthday Gift For My Dad

This conversation has to have come up before with these devices. I generally don't have much wit, but my Dad pitched me such a lob, I couldn't resist to nail him with the "obvious."

I called my Dad to ask him if he might like a set of Tile Stickers. These are cool little devices you can stick...

Scottish Humor

It’s called a “Kilt” because I kilt the last man who called it a skirt.

Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it's all in perfect working order.

A lot of people wonder what a true Scotsman wears under his kilt, but don't ask him: he'll not tell ya, he'll show ya.

In Scotla...

Why is it so hard to understand humor when you're in quarantine?

Because everything's an inside joke.

Looking for "A__is like a__, it__." For example: A dark sense of humor is like a make-a-wish child...

....It never grows old.

If you have one, please share. Joke, not make-a-wish child.

A man and a women are on a blinddate

Suddenly the man says: „ You know, I have experienced that humor is the second best method to get someone in bed“
Puzzled she asks him: „ Then what is the best?“
He answers: „ Chloroform“
She chuckles: „You certainly have humor“
He mutters:„Good choice“

Sometimes my humor grows so black,

It starts collecting coconuts in Afrika.

Okay, my humor is a bit dry, but enjoy? I guess? You probably won’t but eh, I don’t care.

So the president asked one of his advisers if there were any Walmart’s in Iran, but his advisor replies:

“Mr. President, there are no Walmart’s in Iran, only targets.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Jimmy Carter, a president, invited Leonid Brezhnev to the White House for an evening of the usual state activities.

As part of the entertainment, Carter invited Brezhnev to sit down at the official White House piano and play a dirge of the Volga or the Fall of Leningrad. As Brezhnev sat down to play, he could not help but notice a red button at the end of the keyboard.

Unable to restrain his curiosity, he...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

COVID-19 Humor

A suspected coronavirus patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student female nurse enters to give him a partial sponge bath.

"Nurse," he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"

Embarrassed, the young nurse repli...

What's the difference between juvenile humor and a dad joke?

A dad joke is full-groan.

What's the difference between black humor and morbid humor

Black humor is 10 babies in one trash can.
Morbid humor is one baby in 10 trash cans.


It's old joke, sorry if you heard it already.

Jokes about Feminine Hygiene are the lowest form of humor

Period.

I finally thought of a joke with just the right amount of dry humor

I’ll post it soon

Got any cancer jokes for a good cause?

Hi everyone, I'm not sure if this is allowed here or not, but I didn't see any rule against it in the sidebar so here we go (Mods, if this isn't OK, sorry in advance).

My younger sister was diagnosed with cancer a few hours ago. Dark humor is a staple in our family, so we spent my visit in t...

Seeking jokes for my grandmother who has dementia

My 90 year old grandma is in an assisted living home due to her dementia. She has been feeling isolated (no visits due to Covid).

I have decided to start calling her everyday with a "Joke Of The Day" but I need your help with grandma friendly jokes.

All submissions are greatly appr...

Turian Humor

How do you know when a Turian is out of ammo?

He switches to the stick up his ass, as a backup weapon.

What’s the difference between dark humor and morbid humor

Dark humor is 10 kids in one container


Morbid humor is one kid in 10 containers

The Lucky Frog

A man goes golfing and notices a frog in the green at the first hole. He doesn’t think anything about it, puts the ball on the tee and prepares to swing when he hears, “Ribbit, 9 iron.”

The man looks around in surprise but doesn’t see anyone. He turns back to his ball and prepares to swing a...

Dismemberment isn't humorous

unless you lose an arm

NSFW semi dark humor

Mindy's husband Bob had just passed away. At the funeral, the funeral director was looking real awkward and pulled Mindy aside and says to her.

"Maam, I'm sorry to bring this up to you, but we have an issue with your husband. You see, he has a massive erection and coffin won't fully clo...

My wife has NO sense of humor

I still thought "hi 'Drowning', I'm Dad!" was hilarious.

My friend asked me to explain dark humor to them

I pointed at a guy sitting on a park bench and said "See that guy with no hands on the bench? Tell him to clap".

They replied "Austin, you know I'm blind", to which I replied "Exactly"

What do you call jokes about eyes?

Vitreous humor

5 And’s

Not really a joke, more like general humor

A teacher asks her class how many times they can use the same word in a row, in a grammatically correct sentence.

Jimmy says he can use the word “and” 5 times. So the gauntlet was thrown down

He tells the story - there was a painter hi...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy walks into a bar with his dog.

He says, "Hey, bartender, check this out. My dog can talk!"

The bartender says, "I don't believe that for a second."

"I'm serious. Ask him any question, and he'll give you an answer."

Just to humor the guy, the bartender goes, "Okay, dog. What do you call the top of a house?"...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Big Bang Theory

# Some Background Info

The TV show "The Big Bang Theory" was created by Chuck Lorre. At the end of each episode he inserted a one screen humorous comment.

While season 4 was being produced, the lead actress had a horseback riding accident unrelated to the show which caused her a broke...

I made a joke about disabled people in my friend circle once.

My blind friend just sighed and told me it wasn't funny.

I guess she couldn't see the humor in it.

Recent studies suggest that subversion of expectations is the most effective type of humor among 13 - 40 year olds.

TIL

Why are people on higher floors funnier?

They have a type of elevated humor

A man learns that he has a Terminal Illness, and decides to go back to school to pursue his lifelong dream of being a Comedian, and joins a Comedy School.

He earned his Degree Post Humorously.

New Zealand Humor

(Stolen unashamedly from a comment on Quora)

Some years ago the Pope was visiting New Zealand as part of a world tour.

On a day when he had a few hours to spare he asked if he could be shown one of the famous beaches of New Zealand, so his hosts took him to a beautiful, secluded beach ...

A man with no arms walks into a church

“I’d like to apply to toll the bell, every hour on the hour” he tells the priest. The priest wonders how this would be possible with no arms so he decides to humor the man. Since it’s close to 3pm, they make their way up to the bell tower. At 2:54 the man sits cross legged and begins meditating. At ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Think I may have created something new here, honest opinion? (Nsfw?)

Work with a few of my friends and we got a messed up sense of humor and get away with some stuff. I texted all 3 3 hrs after work today and told them "I put dicks in your rearview. They all went out to discover clean mirrors before I said you are the dick I just put in the mirror.

The lights went out at a comedy convention

And it became dark humor

Red Skeleton’s Recipe for the Perfect Marriage

1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.
2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas.
3. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
4. I...

The pot that gave birth

Edit: this joke is from the famous turkish humorous character Nasreddin Hoca. Hope you like.

One day Nasreddin borrows a cooking pot from his neighbor and while returning he puts a smaller pot inside it.

When the neighbor asks what that means, he replies “The pot gave birth and deliver...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A ventriloquist was performing in a club telling dumb blonde jokes...

With his dummy on his knee, he begins his usual routine of dumb blonde jokes. Suddenly, a blond woman in the audience stands on her chair and starts shouting,"I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes! What makes you think you can stereotype women like that?What does the color of a person's hair...

Coding humor

99 silly bugs in the code,
99 silly bugs,
Pass one down,
Patch it around,
127 silly bugs in the code!

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