What's dark humor?

A boy asks his mom: "Hey, mom, what is dark humor?"

"See that disabled man over there?" She says

"But mom, I'm blind"


"Exactly, honey"

My wife and I share a sense of humor.

We have to...

She doesn't have one

Dismemberment isn't humorous

unless you lose an arm

My wife has NO sense of humor

I still thought "hi 'Drowning', I'm Dad!" was hilarious.

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Typical dad humor

Me: Walks in on my dad sticking a bullet up his ass

Me: ''What are young doing dad?''

Dad: ''I'm fucking around''

Me: \*shocked face\*

My dad: \*wheezing\*

If you don’t like dark humor, it’s alright—it’s kinda like food...

Not everyone gets it

What's the difference between black humor and morbid humor

Black humor is 10 babies in one trash can.
Morbid humor is one baby in 10 trash cans.


It's old joke, sorry if you heard it already.

Scottish Humor

It’s called a “Kilt” because I kilt the last man who called it a skirt.

Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it's all in perfect working order.

A lot of people wonder what a true Scotsman wears under his kilt, but don't ask him: he'll not tell ya, he'll show ya.

In Scotla...

What’s the difference between dark humor and morbid humor

Dark humor is 10 kids in one container


Morbid humor is one kid in 10 containers

What's a vampire's favorite type of humor?

Irony!

New Zealand Humor

(Stolen unashamedly from a comment on Quora)

Some years ago the Pope was visiting New Zealand as part of a world tour.

On a day when he had a few hours to spare he asked if he could be shown one of the famous beaches of New Zealand, so his hosts took him to a beautiful, secluded beach ...

“Poor old fool.” thought the well-dressed gentleman as he watched an old man fish in a puddle outside a pub. So he invited the old man inside for a drink. As they sipped their whiskeys, the gentleman thought he’d humor the old man and asked, “So how many have you caught today?”

The old man replied, “You’re the eighth.”

NSFW semi dark humor

Mindy's husband Bob had just passed away. At the funeral, the funeral director was looking real awkward and pulled Mindy aside and says to her.

"Maam, I'm sorry to bring this up to you, but we have an issue with your husband. You see, he has a massive erection and coffin won't fully clo...

What do the children of anti-vaxx parents and dark humor have in common?

It never gets old.

A kid asks his dad 'Daddy, what's dark humor?"

"Well," he said, "you see that fat kid get stuck in the baby swing?"

"Dad, I'm blind..."

The dad goes back to his newspaper.

"You're welcome, son."

Student Humor!

Teacher: Be sure that you go straight home.
Student: I can't, I live just around the corner!

The problem with dark humor is...

that a lot of jokes don’t land very well, kinda like those pilots during 9/11

Coding humor

99 silly bugs in the code,
99 silly bugs,
Pass one down,
Patch it around,
127 silly bugs in the code!

There’s nothing like a good sense of humor.

And you have nothing like a good sense of humor.

(Dark Humor) What did the handless guy get for Christmas?

Its still a mystery cause he hasn't opened his present yet.

A taste of Russian humor

Ivan had worked at the wheelbarrow factory for as long as anyone could remember, and the day of his retirement had finally arrived. He was well respected and even liked by all his coworkers, and his boss wanted to give him his last farewell at the end of his last day while he was walking out, so he...

I love self deprecating humor

More than I love myself

Everyone says I'm best at self deprecating humor

But I don't think it's very good

Self-depricating humor is the best kind of humor...

Except when I do it.

Very dark humor(Long joke)

A grandfather and a grandson are sitting next to each other. The grandson in on his phone while the grandfather is trying to talk to him. The grandfather says to himself, “Urgh, how you children are dependent on technology.” The grandson hears what the grandfather said and replied with, “No, your ge...

I fractured my kneecap please send me jokes

Right now my humor is as broken as my ability to stand

Jailhouse humor

A new inmate showed up at the state prison to start serving his fifty year sentence. After getting through the preliminaries with his cellmate, he settles in. After a bit, he hears a shout outside the cell, "Number twelve!", and everybody on the block laughed uproariously. A few minutes later, some ...

The level of humor when telling dark jokes is like a boat full of refugees on it's way to Italy

It sinks.

What syndrome has people barking out potty humor?

Toilette’s syndrome

What do you call British humor?

Humour.

Science Humor

Physicist: "There's a hotel in Germany with a plaque stating that Heisenberg may have slept here."
Me: "Really?"
Physicist: "Well, I'm not sure..."


(as heard in an 'Inspector Lewis' episode)

Ridding of the Brits

UK: Colour
US: Color

UK: Humour
US: Humor

UK: Armour
US: Armor

UK: What are you doing?
US: Getting rid of U

People tell me I don’t have a sense of humor. It’s not my fault. I was born with a serious birth defect.

I was born without a humerus.

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Please read only lines 1, 3 and 5.

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Why do the Hong Kong police like to show up to work early?

They like to beat the crowds.

Edit: WTF is wrong with you people?
I know dark humor is like a kid with cancer, it never gets old but, 2 shiny bottle caps?? NO!! Send that money to the protesters, or groups helping them, in Hong Kong.

Edit 2:
Add edit to first comment.
Also he...

I would tell you a joke about Nebraska

But it's too corny.

If you like dry humor though, I have a good one about Arizona!

The people of Dubai don't get Flintstone's humor.

But the people of Abu Dabi do.

Dry humor about water.

So these two guys are in a cabin in the woods by a small pond in Vermont.

One says, "Hey, go fetch some water to drink."

So the other takes a pail and wades out into the pond to get water. He looks up and there is a bear across the pond looking at him and growling!

The guy drops...

Internet humor is so selfish

It's all about meme meme meme

A man was walking in the woods when he was attacked by a wolf

The man miraculously managed to escape from the wolf with just a deep bite on the arm.


While he was being treated by the doctor, he confided that he thought it might have been a werewolf, so the doctor, humoring him, decided to run some tests.


"Good news," said the doctor...

A police officer was brought to the stand to testify on behalf of his partner who was accused of making a wrongful arrest.

“Your honor,” the cop began “my partner on duty has always been my closest friend and my most trustworthy work associate. I trust this man with my life and I believe that speaks volumes for his character.”

“Objection, your honor!” Said the plaintiff’s lawyer.

“Sustained,” said the judg...

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Whenever a guy doesn’t share my sense of humor I tell them that my jokes are a lot like blowjobs.

You don’t get them

I was going to post a humorous, witty and intelligent time travel joke...

But you guys downvoted it.

A dark sense of humor is a early sign of dementia.

A dark sense of humor is a early sign of dementia.

A sense of humor is like food...

...you're not allowed to have it in Soviet Russia.

My friend said my taste in dark humor is really messed up.

I think he's just racist; Pryor, Rock, and Chappelle are legends.

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Legless Parrot

A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any legs."What happened to this parrot?"

The parrot says, "I was born this way. I'm defective."

"Wow," the guy replies. "You actually understood and answered me!"

"I happen to be a highl...

What would you think if one day, you woke up and didn’t have a sense of humor?

You probably wouldn’t think it was very funny.

(Dark humor) Don't drink and drive

John Baker was 17 and hot headed. An underage drinkers and a hardcore partier, his parents were always furious with him for this. They tried keeping him from going out, but nothing seemed to work. The last straw was when John got caught driving drunk. The car was a wreck, and John was in even worse ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Dark humor is like anal sex...

Just relax a little and everything will be fine.

What do you call cows that have a sense of humor?

Laughing stock.

[DARK HUMOR] What's the difference between a door and a 9 year old?

The way you go in.

I used to hate Nihilist humor...

but nothing is funny to me now.

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