There was a man who ready a joke so funny that he died from laughter.

After reading it, the authorities all agreed that it was a killer joke.

They say that laughter is the best medicine.

Then, why was I kicked out the cancer ward for laughing at the patients?

The world is missing out on so much laughter...

Now that people are only sharing inside jokes.

Men are afraid of women's laughter...

Women are afraid of manslaughter.

I’m doing a study with hospitalized children to see if laughter really is the best medicine. So I came to Reddit, because I just knew there would be people here who could tell the children some jokes ...

... that could serve as a placebo for the control group

My dad always said laughter was the best medicine.....

Probably why so many of my siblings died from tuberculosis.

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Queen Elizabeth and Dolly Parton die on the same day and they both go before an Angel to find out if they'll be admitted to Heaven

Unfortunately, there's only one space left that day, so the Angel must decide which of them gets in.

The Angel asks Dolly if there's some particular reason why she should go to Heaven.

Dolly takes off her top and says, 'Look at these, they're the most perfect breasts God ever created, ...

How do you stop laughter?

Add an S

In laughter the L comes first..

~~The rest of the letters come aughter it.~~


The rest of the letters come aughter.

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Ok so this is not a joke for everyone

Once upon a time there was a country that whenever a men grew up ‘til a certain age their dick would be cut, but how would they do it depends on what their job is.

One day the day to cut people’s dick off comes and there is a line of hundreds of men crying.
“What is your job?” “I’m a butc...

A woman told me “Your laughter is infectious!”

“So, stay under quarantine for 2 more weeks”

A doctor once told me laughter was the best medicine

I wish he knew i was still suffering from a stomach operation that just happened 2 days ago

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Everyone on Cell Block "D" burst into raucous laughter when one of the inmates shouted, "Joke 872!"

Then, another inmate shouted, "Joke 74!" and everyone laughed heartily.

A new inmate turned to his cellmate and asked, "What's that all about?"

"Oh," said the cellmate, "those are references to our master joke book. Instead of telling the whole joke, you just shout out the joke's numb...

*snorts loudly in laughter

It’s the World Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right next to the pitch. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbour if someone will be sitting there. ‘No,’ says the neighbour. ‘The seat is empty.’ ‘This is incredible,’ said the man. ...

Guy gets sent to prison. 1st night, someone yells 39, whole prison laughs. Next night, someone yells 2, prison again erupts in laughter. Guy asks lifer what gives. Lifer explains there’s a joke book, been passed around for years. Dudes memorize # & corresponding joke. Guy gets book & memorizes a few

That night he yells, 24!!! Nothing...

Next night, 9!! Crickets

He asks the lifer the next day what’s happening...

Lifer says: some people just can’t tell jokes

An attractive young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the priest beside her, "Father, may I ask a favor?"

"Of course child. What may I do for you?"

"Well, I bought my mother an expensive hair dryer for her birthday. It is unopened but well over the customs limits and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through Customs for me? Hide it under your robes perhaps?" ...

A gynecologist goes in to see a new patient.

Upon entering, he notices that the new patient is nervous. While putting on the latex gloves, he decides to break the ice with some small talk.

"Do you know how they make latex gloves?", he asks.

"No", she responds.

The doctor says, "There is a plant in Mexico full of latex tha...

At what frequency does laughter become painful

1 gigglehurts

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The seven dwarfs go to the Vatican , and because they are the seven dwarfs, they are immediately ushered in to see the Pope.

Grumpy leads the pack.

'Grumpy, my son,' says the Pope, 'What can I do for you?'

Grumpy asks, 'Excuse me your Excellency, but are there any dwarf nuns in Rome?'

The Pope wrinkles his brow at the odd question, thinks for a moment and answers, 'No, Grumpy, there are no dwarf nuns ...

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It's my cake day today, so I'll give you one of my favourite jokes since 15+ years ago.

There is a factory that makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys. The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms.

Well, Lena is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 am.

The next day at 8:45 am there is a knock at the Personnel Manager’s door. Th...

Whomever said laughter is the best medicine...

clearly hasn't tried curing diarrhea with a tickle fight.

My father always said laughter was the best medicine...

Which is why I was so confused when I finally tried cocaine in the 80s

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College Days

A college teacher reminded her class of tomorrow's final exam. “Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!”

A...

Mikhail Kalashnikov visits the United States (based on true story)

For the first time, the legendary father of the AK-47 visits the United States. On his first day there he goes to a shooting range and meets up with Eugene Stoner, the father of America's M16. They discuss the advantages and disadvantages of each of their creations to which Eugene Says:

"My ...

People always say laughter is the best medicine...

But when I ask for it at the pharmacy people always give me a weird look.

If laughter is the best medicine

your face must be curing the world

One evening an old farmer decided to go down to the pond. (Long)

The pond was at the edge of his land and his body wasn't as it used to be, so he hardly went to that part of his property but he decided he wanted to look it over. There were fruit trees surrounding the pond so before he left home, he grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring some fruit back with him....

Bill is infatuated with his own farts.

Bill and Mary have been married for a long time.

Bill is infatuated with his own farts. Mary is not, but she tolerates it.

Every morning, as Bill climbs out of bed, he rips an obnoxious fart as he heads to the bathroom.

And every morning Mary tells Bill, “one of these days you’r...

A man spending his first night in prison hears other inmates calling out numbers, followed by laughter.

The next day he starts talking to one of the inmates and asks about it.

The inmate explains that after a few years there was no new jokes so they decided to just number all the good ones, that way they could save time in telling the joke.

That night the inmates are calling out numbers...

The local bar was so sure that its owner was the strongest man around...

that it offered a standing $1,000 bet that no could beat him.The challenge was that the owner would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran out into a beer glass, then hand the lemon to the customer. Anyone who could squeeze even one more drop out of the lemon would win the money.Over the years many...

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Did you hear about the kidnapping at the elementary school today?

The teacher was pissed when they woke him up!



Credit to guy at work who speaks very little English. He walked into the room and said this aloud to a group of maybe 5 people, everyone got concerned for the child's safety real quick. Only to erupt in laughter minutes later.

Delivering laughter from coast to coast

Why are there no female postal workers? Because only postmen are allowed to work in the mailroom.

Mailroom/male-room

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I ran into the gas station with my mask on saying, "This is a Stick Up!"

The clerk laughed.

The man paying for a coffee laughed.

The lady grabbing a candy bar laughed.

They thought I was joking, so I quickly made a small purchase.

When the cashier had the drawer open, I said hand me the large bills and a carton behind the counter.

The c...

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A 75-year-old man walked into a crowded hospital waiting room and approached the nurse desk.

The Receptionist said, 'Yes sir, what are you seeing the Doctor for today?'

'There's something wrong with my dick', he replied.

The receptionist became irritated and said, 'You shouldn't come into a
crowded waiting room and say things like that. '

'Why not, you asked me wh...

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An Ohio scientist goes to Japan for a press conference as the main speaker.

However, he was not informed that the press conference wasn't in English. The translator was there, but there were many moments of laughter among the audience when he translated for the scientist. When he inquired, the translator did not give any reason.

After the press conference and coming ...

Laughter is meant to be shared, so if you can make just 1 person laugh

you're not very funny

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A guy comes in to his doctor's offices having symptoms of tennis elbow. The doctor tells him to go home & pee in a cup & return it for analysis.

The patient thinks this is ridiculous so decides he'd mess with the doctor by taking a pee sample a from his wife. Gets some out of the unflushed toilet after his teenage daughter pee'd. Added some changed oil from his car. Even going so far as to put his sperm in it. The guy returns it for analysis...

My 3 year old's knock knock joke - innocence shattered

3 yr old: Knock Knock Daddy!

Me: Who's there?

3 yr old: (excitedly waving around their fork heaped with spaghetti and slinging sauce everywhere) Fork!

Me: Fork who?

*wife and I lock eyes; we each slowly make "the face" as we realize what is about to come out of our 3 yea...

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Jim Bob and the Blow Job Frog

A man is selling frogs in a box for $100 each. A sign says “Blow Job Frogs $100”.

Jim Bob walks up and looks in the box “No way one of those frogs is worth $100.”

Salesman “Take one down the alley and try it; If you don’t like it put it back and leave.”

Jim Bob does and comes b...

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A tale of two friends !!

One was a very bright student while the other one was quite dumb. The brighter one always helped the other passing exams be it a class test or end term exams. The teachers were quite furious with them and at last, called upon a meeting to discuss with the principal what could be done. All came to th...

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A Woman Buys a Parrot

A woman goes to the pet store, looking to buy a family pet. At first she’s looking at all the cats and dogs but notices a beautiful green parrot with a price tag of only $5.

“Excuse me,” she asks an employee, “why is this parrot so cheap? It’s beautiful!”

The employee replies telling ...

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I like to imagine speaking, people listening, then laughter.

My therapist said is this your idea of a joke?

A man dies, and wakes up on a beach...

There are girls playing beach volleyball, barbeques everywhere, laughter and joy. All of a sudden, Satan comes up to him.

"Welcome to hell. Enjoy yourself, have a drink, have a hamburger and check out the area. If you need anything or have a question, feel free to ask me." he says. The guy wa...

A man is visiting a prison. Suddenly, on his right, a man yells "20!" And everyone dies of laughter.

After the laughter dies down, a different man yells "5!", getting the same reaction.

When the visitor asks an inmate, "What's going on?", the visitor replies "Well, we've all been here so long, we numbered our jokes. So when we say a specific number, everyone remembers the same joke."

...

Sweet Aroma

There was once a great actor who could no longer remember his lines. After many years he finds a theater where they are prepared to give him a chance to shine again. The director says, "This is the most important part, and it has only one line. You walk on to the stage at the opening carrying a rose...

A guy sits down in a movie theater and notices that the man in front of him has brought his dog with him.

A guy sits down in a movie theater and notices that the man in front of him has brought his dog and it's sitting in the seat next to him.

He thinks it's unusual, but he likes dogs so he decides that as long as it's not a distraction he won't mention it.

The movie starts and pretty soo...

They say that laughter is the best medicine...

Tell that to the judge who held me in contempt for giggling during my patients' testimonies.

A man buys a brand new sports car and on his first drive overtakes a pick up truck from the wrong side.

The truck driver is huge and has anger issues. He gets furious, speeds up and decided to teach the man a lesson at the next stop light just a few miles ahead.

They reach a red light where the pick up driver pulls ahead of the car. He steps out of the trucks and drags the man out of the car. H...

A couple of years ago Barry went hiking across Europe

But as time passed by he never returned home. His many friends tried contacting him in any way they could imagine, but his phone was disconnected, he wasn't active on his social media accounts anymore - it was like he disappeared off the face of the Earth.

Ultimately, everyone had forgotten a...

The lion’s birthday is coming up and he wants entertainment.

So he tells the zebra to find the funniest animal in the whole kingdom. In order to do this the zebra decides to hold a competition in which animals will have to compete in front of a judge. Whoever the first one to makemake the judge laugh wins and will perform for the lion.

So the first thi...

[Father’s day] It’s great to wake up to the laughter of infants...

...Except if it’s the dead of night and you don’t have children

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The Britain had just colonized Malaysia, three local criminals were caught and brought to the British Commander...

"They committed such deadly crimes, they should be beheaded!" The Lieutenant suggested the Commander.

Hearing that, the three criminals pleaded for their lives to the Commander.

The Commander agreed to let them live under one condition, which was to collect 10 fruits of same type.
<...

A baby's laughter can be the most beautiful sound you will ever hear...

Unless it's 3am

And you're home alone

And you don't have a baby...

Ha! So I just got this and now I'm dying of laughter.

Kuru. I got kuru.

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My wife looked me in the eyes and said "honey, they're not wrinkles, or old age, they're laughter lines."

Nicest thing anyone's ever said about my scrotum.

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For decades, two heroic statues, one male and one female, faced each other in a city park, until one day an angel came down from heaven.

“You’ve been such exemplary statues,” he announced to them. “That I’m going to give you a special gift…“I’m going to bring you both to life for thirty minutes, in which you can do anything you want.”And with a clap of his hands, the angel brought the statues to life.The two handsome figures approach...

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If laughter is the true way to a woman’s heart....

Why do I never get that second date after she sees my penis?

If laughter is the best medicine...

Then making fun of anti-vaxxers should be considered a public service.

Children's laughter can be a wonderful thing

Unless its 2AM and you don't have any kids.

A bus gets in to a terrible crash.

Everybody inside dies and goes to Heaven. At the gates of Heaven, God is there to greet them. He says to the first person, “Before you get in to Heaven, I can grant you one wish.”

The first person in line says, “Well, I wish I was pretty.” God then grants this wish and let’s her in to Heaven...

I was walking down the street when a group of kids threw a block of cheese off me, they burst into laughter and I yelled

“That’s not mature is it”

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar.

The barmaid comes to take their order and the Englishman says "w-w-w-what are you, you, y-ou two h-aving?". The Irishman says "B-Bushmills, m-m-mate" and the Scotsman says "M-M-Mackeson's, th-th-thanks," and the Englishman says to the barmaid, "A-a-a B-ushmills, a, a, a, M-Mackeson's and a, and an, ...

My mom has a rule that no friends are allowed at our house in November because of holidays. (It makes no sense.)

But she has a friend that she decided that she'll let over in November. My mom told her "You're an exception. You can come any time in November." So I said "Very poor choice of words." and her friend started dying of laughter, but I got grounded.

Laughter

One letter way from screams and death.

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Dark sense of humor

People look at me and go "oh he is a nice guy, he must have a good, clean sense of humor. Full of light and laughter."

They don't realize how dark it is up there in my head..... mainly because someone turned off the fucking lights!

A four foot tall man visits the local bordello...

when he gets there. he's immediately greeted with laughter and scorn by the ladies of the night, who giggled and laughed at the very thought of sleeping with him.



Finally, the madam had enough. The man had money, and his money was just as good as anyone else's. So she took him by th...

If laughter is a drug...

The real coke is in the comments!

U.S. Navy destroyer stops four Mexicans rowing towards Texas. The Captain gets on the loud-hailer and shouts:

“Ahoy, small craft. Where are you headed?"

One of the Mexicans puts down his oar, stands up, and shouts, "Gringo, we are invading the United States of
America to reclaim the territory taken by the USA during the 1800's."

The entire crew on the destroyer doubles over in laughter....

There's nothing quite as enjoyable as the sound of a child's laughter

unless of course it's 3am and you don't have kids

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Opposite of laughter

A teacher asked a student "What's the opposite of laughter?"

Student replied: "sex"

Teacher stood shocked for few seconds, then asked: "what made you think that's the answer?"

Student: "When you laugh you say *ha ha ha*, and when you have sex you say *ah ah ah*".

Laughter is the best medicine.

Unless they have cancer. You can laugh at them all day and they still don't get better.

The lion, king of the jungle, was very bored.

The lion, king of the jungle, was very bored. He gathered all the animals of his kingdom and said:

"Each one of you must tell a joke. The joke must be funny enough to make everybody else laugh. Otherwise, I'll kill the one who told the joke."

The monkey was the first animal who had to ...

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A lady helps her husband to set up a new laptop.

Once it is completed, she tells him to select a password, selecting a word that he’ll always remember.

As the computer asks him to enter it, he looks at his wife and with a macho gesture and a wink in his eye, he types “mypenis”.

As he hits “enter” to validate the selection, his wife c...

The Olympics of who has more children.

A battle between an American, a Brit, and a Filipino.

It's a competition of who has the most number of children the story of how the Filipino beat the American and a Brit.


It's the Olympics and a lot of audience gathered in a dome, a massive 80,000-seater oval dome. All seats are...

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Ladies night.

3 ladies are on a night out in a Harlem bar, discussing their men.

Lady 1: ".....well, I call mah man Long John on account o' he's got a looooooong John!

*much laughter, high 5's and shrieking follows*

Lady 2: "...uh-huh well, I call mah man Big Dick on account o' hes got a biii...

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A prince is riding through the woods on his horse.

Suddenly he hears someone screaming for help near the path. He immediately jumps off his horse and hurries in the direction from which the screams seemed to come. Behind a bush he discovers a dwarf trapped under a small tree.

"Help! Please help me, I'm stuck here," the dwarf screams in pain....

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The ultimate revenge ( long)

Melville was 10 years old and he loved clowns. When he heard that the circus was coming to town he did everything he could to convince his parents to take him so he could see the clowns. They eventually agreed and when the day arrived he was incredibly excited! He was on the edge of his seat with an...

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A friend told me about his trip out with his grandson.

This is what he said. "Last week, I took my grandchildren to a restaurant. My 6 year-old grandson asked if he could say grace."

As we bowed our heads he said, "God is good, God is great. Thank you for the food and I would thank you even more if Grandpa gets us ice cream for dessert. And ...

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One day a new stage play was released that was supposed to be the #1 comedy of the year.

Unfortunately from the get go it had poor reviews frequently stating that it just wasn't that funny. The writer of the script was at a loss and was getting ready to cancel the show when his friend called.

He told him he had just watched the show and true to the reviews it was pretty terrible...

3 prisoners

2 men are in prison and have been given the life sentence. Now these two cell mates have nothing to do, so they have resorted to telling jokes to pass the time. After a couple years they have been telling the same ild jokes over and over but they ate still funny and every time they tell one they rol...

An fat old man lying in bed calls in the nurse...

A polite woman rushes in to the aid of the obese man who has been placed on a strict diet.

"I'm pregnant!" he declares. "With an elephant!"

The old man start rubbing his bloated belly in large circles.

"How interesting... Elephants are pregnant for 2 years you know" says the nur...

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Explosive Gas

So three people got on small airplane. A Japanese Guy, an Australian guy, and an American guy.

During the plane ride the Japanese guy opened the window and tossed his prized Katana out the window and said "This is for my country" .

Later, the Austrailian guy opened the window and toss...

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An Irishman stops at an airport in England...

An Irishman stops at an airport in England. While he's waiting for his flight to arrive, he decides to make a quick stop at the airport bar.

As it's late at night, there's only the bartender and two other people there. Always willing to make a new friend, he sits down with the two and starts ...

Stairway of Laughter

A blonde, A brunette, and a red-head all died in a car crash, and they all went to heaven at the same time.
They arrive at the gates of heaven, when God appears and tells them they must pass a laughter test, if they fail, they will be sent to hell.
The objective was to climb 100 stairs without...

A Man goes to a bar with his friend at his friend favourite bar after they are few drinks down someone yells 26

Everyone starts laughing including his friend and this guy is confused he asks his friend what's happening before his friend can answer someone else shouts 94 everyone including his friend is in splits now the guy starts getting really confused. After few moments of silence someone says 153 eve...

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My fallback joke that I've been telling for about 20 years at this point.

A teacher isn't seeing much engagement in her class so, she decides to get the students more involved she offers up a proposition.

She tells all of her students that every Friday she is going to ask a "Question of the Day", if the students can get it right they can take the day off of school ...

How does the funniest joke in the world end?

With laughter.

My 5 year old daughter came home from kindergarten...

Dad, how do you kill 2 giraffes with just one shot?
Me: no clue, how?
You shoot one in the ass, then the other will die from laughter.

Not gonna lie, that is the first joke she has told, which made sense (and made me chuckle)

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Mr. and Mrs. Potato had three daughters who were as upstanding as they were lovely. One day the first daughter came home and exclaimed, “I have an announcement to make.”

“And what might that be?” said Mother, seeing the obvious excitement in her eldest daughter’s eyes.

“Well,” replied the daughter, with a proud but sheepish grin, “I’m getting married!”

The other daughters squealed with surprise as Mother Potato exclaimed, “Married! That’s wonderful! An...

A bus full of ugly people

Heading to the national ugly people convention rolled off a cliff and everyone died. They ended up in heaven, St. Peter at the gates exclaimed “wow, you guys are ugly, I feel bad so I’ll grant you all one wish”

The first person says “I want to be beautiful”
Poof, he was a handsome man.
...

One joke I've heard

They say laughter is the best medicine. So, maybe, if we keep laughing at people in wheelchairs...

A witch finishes watching Monsters Inc...

And has an idea. Surely if children’s laughter is more powerful, then orphans crying for joy would make their tears MORE magical! So she teleports outside of a young orphans bedroom and slowly enters the room.

Inside, the young child in the bed stirs awake. “Who’s there?” He asks the figure. ...

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A teacher draws a heart on the board.

A teacher draws a heart on the board.


She then asks the class, "What is this?


To her surprise, nearly every student said some variation of "A butt." One even said "An ass!"


The teacher was not pleased to hear this and called the principal.


The pri...

Laughter is the best medicine.

Unless you're diabetic, then insulin is pretty high on the list.

A beer bottle, a mirror and a condom go to the pub

The beer bottle thinks for a moment and says, you know, if you break me you get a years bad luck. The mirror looks incredulous at the comment and says, that’s nothing if you break me you get seven years bad luck. The condom starts to laugh so hard he falls on the floor with laughter, if you break me...

A friend told me that laughter is the best medicine

Now I understand why Jeff Dunham is so sick all the time

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Im a sucker for corney jokes so give me ur best joke! I need some laughter in my life :)

Here is one of my favorites

Guy goes into a bar with a giraffe and they get shit faced drunk. The giraffe passes out on the floor, the man starts to stumble out the door when the bartender yells "hey you can't leave that lying here!"
The man replies "it's not a lion it's a giraffe"
...

One day, daughter shack came to Mama and Papa shack and told them that she wanted to be a comedian.

“But you're not funny," said Mama shack.

Seeing his daughter's roofline sag in disappointment, Papa shack spoke up. "Maybe we could get you a coach?"

Daughter shack smiled with joy, and as she left, Papa shack arranged for a coach.

The coach came, a part time tiler who pr...

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A different man accepts a job in a village with no women

The first few months are fine, but Bob starts to feel urges.

After work one day he asked some of his new friends what they do when they get horny. They tell Bob there is a herd of sheep just over the hill. Bob is taken back. This has to be a joke right? You don't really do it with sheep?
<...

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A travelling man stops at a pub in regional Australia for lunch and a beer.

He walks in and spots a poster that says "Make my horse laugh and cry and get $1000!".

The man goes up the bartender to ask what this is about.

Bartender: "We have a horse in the stable behind the bar, and if you can make it laugh and cry then you'll get $1000. We've had so many people...

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead reach the steps to heaven, when they meet God.

As they are about to start climbing the 100 steps to heaven, God says, "Wait!"

"At every step I will tell you a joke, if you don't laugh, you can go to heaven."

The girls agree, and start climbing.

On the 27th step, the redhead starts laughing, and disappears.

On the 77t...

An inventor is about to pass, leaving all he has to his only family. His two children.

He was a very altruistic person in life, only using his inventions to help people and not make any profit. His daughter admired this trait and followed this path becoming a tinkerer herself. His son, however, was an opportunist. He would always attempt to make a profit off any of his father's invent...

A blonde, redhead and brunette die and God appears before them

Mesmerized by their beauty (yes, he didn't create them ffs) he gives them a challenge. "For each step you take on the staircase to heaven, I will tell a dark joke. If you laugh, then you will fall straight to hell. Otherwise, despite all your sins, I will let you enter the gates of heaven".

A...

joke - Daily dose of laughter.

Teacher: "Kids,what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"

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Monday morning, Joe, the court clerk, finds a note on his desk.

Memo: Attn: Joe, Court Clerk...

From: Judge Frank...

Today's tasks:

1) Contact hysterical woman who you emailed Friday about her being sentenced to go to the rapist because her actions contributed to mans laughter.

2) Fix your keyboard. The spacebar sticks.

A girl from a strict family.

There was a girl from a very strict family. Her father absolutely hated fruits and no one in the family was allowed to eat them. As far as the girl knew her Uncle had died from choking on an apple which is why they were banned.

All through her school years she longed to taste any fruit, s...

A man gets sentenced to life in prison

On his first night there, his cell mate tells him there's a stand up comedy event.

They are sitting watching, and an inmate gets up and stands on the stage

"15", he calls out. The whole audience starts laughing.
"23", he continues. Hysterical laughter everywhere.

The man...

Laughter is the Best Medicine. OK Reddit, whats the best 9/11 Joke You've Ever Heard?

Q: How Many New Yorkers Does it Take to Screw in a Light Blub?

A: None - they all jump out of the building when it gets too hot

Not the best, I admit. But yeah - top that.

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