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Singular Jokes

Are there a lot of first-person singular objective pronouns…

…or is it just me?

What's the singular of "Women's Studies?"

Study abroad.

People complain that using "they" as singular pronoun will make things confusing.

That sounds like a "you" problem.

Is there more than one singular first person objective pronoun?

Or is it just me?

When is "us" singular and 'i' plural?

When you're Roman.

Teacher: what's the singular of the word 'problems'?

Student: There is no singular, They never comes alone.

What's the plural of neckbeard?

There isn't one. They're all singular.

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An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar

The first mathematician orders a beer

The second orders half a beer

"I don't serve half-beers" the bartender replies

"Excuse me?" Asks mathematician #2

"What kind of bar serves half-beers?" The bartender rema...

A Kerr black hole is one with a ring-shaped singularity in it, but the name also sounds a lot like the word "cur".

I'm sure there is a joke in there somewhere, I just can't make it out.

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On Monday I turned up to a zoo

I was expecting it to be good fun, But there was nothing but a singular dog. It was a shit-zu

Husband: What's your most hated part of the english language?

Wife: The singular second person personal pronoun.

Husband: What?

Wife: YOU.

One day in Contract Law class, Professor Jepson asked one of his better students, "Now if you were to give someone an orange, how would you go about it?" The student replied, "Here's an orange." The professor was livid. "No! No! Think like a lawyer!"

The student then recited, "Okay, I'd tell him, 'I hereby give and convey to you all and singular, my estate and interests, rights, claim, title, calim and advantages of and in, said orange, together with all its rind, juice, pulp, and seeds, and all rights and advantages with full power to bite, cut...

The other day I failed my grade 10 English exam for the third year in a row

My friend called it quite a feat.

I smugly corrected him and said, "the singular is actually 'a foot.'"



How did that dumbass even pass??

It remains a puzzle . . .

It remains a puzzle why a bra is singular and panties are plural.

A Man Buys several Acres in the Countryside

and hires a local contractor to build a fence around his new property.

The next day, the contractor arrives in his pickup with a small trailer of tools and materials to begin work on the fence.

The contractor begins digging the first hole with a shovel only to find the ground is mostl...

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Once, in a faraway land, there was this doctor who was a professional trickster...

This doctor was quite popular, but he had a big, bad secret; he deceives people. How? Well, let's just say a patient walks into his office with an illness. The doctor, after doing some checkups, gives his prescription for a medicine, which he even gives for free. It turns out, however, that the medi...

How many agile programmers does it take to change a light bulb?

One to write the web page. One to make the video proclaiming the changing to be the next step towards the singularity. One to upload the video to Kickstarter. One to send out invitations to a meeting to decide whether to use Scrum or another method. One to argue that the way the invitations were se...

An old man lay on his death bed upstairs when he caught a wiff

An old man lay dying in bed upstairs in his room when he thought he caught a wiff of his wife's chocolate chip cookies wafting through the air.

Man, he thought to himself, if I could have just one more of my wife's cookies I could die a happy man.

As he lay there thinking about the s...

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Ponderisms:

Can you cry under water?







How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?







Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. But it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra p...

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An Old Joke

The year is 2120, and our story follows Joe McFlinch and his journey to overcome his inner demons. 'Who is Joe?', you may be wondering. Well, Joe is a cowardly 29 year old male. He has no special talents or skills, no hobbies, and most sadly, no friends. If I were to describe him as a dish, he would...

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The Silent Debate

Note: This is a joke best told in person by somebody who's not afraid to go all out with gesticulations and accents.

The silent debate was a yearly event that was the Super Bowl of the intellectual world. It was watched live by tens of thousands, and broadcast on countless major networks. Fo...

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