UPJOKE
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Know what’s ironic?

A computer asking me if I’m a robot.

When I become a superhero, I'm going to call myself "Ironic".

So when there's trouble & I'm running away, people will be like "Isn't that ironic?!"

Wouldn’t it be ironic if Trump was brought down

By a virus from China , named after a Mexican beer?

The word QUEUE is ironic.

It's just a Q with a bunch of silent letters waiting in line.

It would be ironic if a movie about The Flat Earth Society...

Wins the Golden Globe award.

It's quite ironic that "strap on"…

…backwards, spells 'no parts'…

Ironic isn't it

Ironic how Jan-worry and Febr-worry are the only two months in 2020 without worry.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It’s ironic Whitney Houston did all those Pepsi endorsements

Then over dosed on Coke

It's ironic that Parasite won.

Because there was no host for the Oscars.

Huh? Huh?
I'll show myself out.

Thank you for the silver star!. My first!

Thereʻs nothing ironic about rain on your wedding day.

It’s normal for a couple to have a bridal shower.

My friend told me that I don't understand the meaning of Ironic.

Which was ironic, because we were at a bus station.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It's ironic that Thelma and Louise spend an entire film challenging sexist stereotypes

And then die at the end because of their terrible driving.

The most ironic part about working at the unemployment office is...

If you get fired, you still have to come in the next day.

I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom.

Until they are flashing behind you.

You wanna hear about something ironic? My grandma’s zodiac sign was Cancer.

She was killed... by a giant crab.

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Pretty ironic they used to sacrifice virgins to call down rain

Considering they're known for having the longest dry spells.

Isn't it ironic that the fat acceptance movement...

barely has any movement at all?

Ironically the guy who attacked Dave Chapelle got his Humerus bone dislocated

There was no arm done on Dave though.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Being a teenager is the worst. I've jerked off more than I've studied.

Which is ironic. One of then requires you to clear up space, look up the material, make sure theres no distractions around you and focus.

....and the other ones studying.

The oldest joke I know. Three men are working on a building site.

Every day, they sit down to eat their lunch together at the top of the building.

The first man opens his lunchbox to reveal a ham sandwich.

“By god” the man exclaims, “I hate ham sandwiches. I’ve been working in construction for twenty years and every day, despite me telling her how ...

It's a bit ironic a website filled with people that don't read the articles

is called "Reddit"

The adjective for metal is metallic, but not so for iron

Which is ironic.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Update on an Ironic Classic

A man goes to the doctor, says he's depressed, says life seems harsh, heartless and cruel. He's all alone in a threatening world, and what lies ahead is vague and uncertain. Doctor says, "Treatment is simple. Great clown Pagliacci is in town tonight. Go and see him, that should pick you up." Man bur...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The only thing more ironic than a mother calling her son a son of a bitch...

Is a kid calling his father a motherfucker.

My mum's starsign was cancer, pretty ironic how she died...

She was eaten by a massive crab

My American girlfriend recently had a knee transplant here in London

which is ironic as her name is Britney

It’s ironic that Gordon Ramsay has so many kids….

Because he doesn’t serve raw meat

With all the bars closed, how horribly ironic is it that Joe Diffie died?

We can't even prop him up beside the juke box.

What did the egg say to the funny chef?

You're really cracking me up.

[Others may have said this before, but I came up with this all by myself when I was at my intellectual peak of 14 and I have repeated it ever since - yet to have a response other than silence, which clearly means it's ironic wit /s]

What's ironic about having a left handed pen

It's for righting.

It's ironic...

Most anti-vax mothers are actually vaccinated.

Which, depending on what you believe, might explain their autism.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It’s ironic that China doesn’t want us calling it “Chinese Coronavirus”.

They lay claim to just about about everything else even vaguely related to them: Tibet, Taiwan, Hong Kong, every tiny island for about 5,000 miles in any direction...

How ironic, a tornado tore through Miss Oklahoma's vegetable patch the day after she was crowned Miss America.

She actually got whirled peas.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[OC] What’s the most ironic amusement park ride?

The ferrous wheel.

What is the most ironic name for a fat man?

Jim

What's an ironic and hypocritical sentence?

"I'm not telling you what to do, so don't tell me what to do!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My aunt's star sign was cancer, pretty ironic how she died

She was eaten by a giant crab

A man stands over the coffin of his deceased wife. "Her star sign was cancer you know" he says. " I guess it's ironic..."

"That she was killed by a giant crab."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Isn't it ironic...

that there's no Tolkien black man in The Lord of the Rings?

It’s ironic that “rain on your wedding day” is a poor example of irony.

And a “free ride when you’ve already paid” isn’t any better.

How ironic. My wife's niece got pregnant...

on a pull-out sofa.

"I'm anemic."

she said unironically.

I don't like Haikus; But I like ironic twists

I am conflicted

It's ironic...

How most people use the word "ironic" improperly.

What's ironic about a casual screw?

He nuts and bolts

Isn't it just a little ironic to see a group of pro-lifers

throwing eggs at an abortion clinic?

It’s a bit ironic.

Trump seems to be a champ at pulling out, but he still has 5 kids.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two women died and were waiting at the gates of heaven. They talked to each other.

“How did you die?”

“I froze to death. It was painful and took a long time. And you? How did you die?”

“A heart attack. I suspected my husband was cheating on me and I came home suddenly. He was alone in our bedroom. But I felt his girlfriend was somewhere! So I spend a long time lookin...

Isn't It Ironic?

My wife was trying to explain to me that I didn't know what irony meant, which was ironic because I had just taken a shower.

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