UPJOKE
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Know what’s ironic?

A computer asking me if I’m a robot.

When I become a superhero, I'm going to call myself "Ironic".

So when there's trouble & I'm running away, people will be like "Isn't that ironic?!"

Wouldn’t it be ironic if Trump was brought down

By a virus from China , named after a Mexican beer?

The word QUEUE is ironic.

It's just a Q with a bunch of silent letters waiting in line.

It would be ironic if a movie about The Flat Earth Society...

Wins the Golden Globe award.

It's quite ironic that "strap on"…

…backwards, spells 'no parts'…

It's ironic that in America, red white and blue stands for freedom...

... unless they're flashing behind you.

Ironic isn't it

Ironic how Jan-worry and Febr-worry are the only two months in 2020 without worry.

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It’s ironic Whitney Houston did all those Pepsi endorsements

Then over dosed on Coke

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My aunts sign was cancer so her death was ironic....

Eaten alive by a giant ass crab

It's ironic that Parasite won.

Because there was no host for the Oscars.

Huh? Huh?
I'll show myself out.

Thank you for the silver star!. My first!

What’s more ironic than waking up tired?

Dying in the living room.

Isn't it ironic that the fat acceptance movement...

barely has any movement at all?

My mum's starsign was cancer, pretty ironic how she died...

She was eaten by a massive crab

The most ironic part about working at the unemployment office is...

If you get fired, you still have to come in the next day.

Wanna know what's ironic?

A blind racist

Thereʻs nothing ironic about rain on your wedding day.

It’s normal for a couple to have a bridal shower.

What's an ironic and hypocritical sentence?

"I'm not telling you what to do, so don't tell me what to do!"

The other day my friend was telling me i didnt know what irony meant

Which was ironic since we were at a bus stop

Edit: thanks for silver gold and front page, it means alot

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Pretty ironic they used to sacrifice virgins to call down rain

Considering they're known for having the longest dry spells.

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My aunt's star sign was cancer, pretty ironic how she died

She was eaten by a giant crab

Why is it ironic that Jesus was a Carpenter?

Because his name are the two words that you say right after you hit your thumb with a hammer.

What's ironic about being late to your Optometrist appointment?

They can't see you.

I don't like Haikus; But I like ironic twists

I am conflicted

The adjective for metal is metallic, but not so for iron

Which is ironic.

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Update on an Ironic Classic

A man goes to the doctor, says he's depressed, says life seems harsh, heartless and cruel. He's all alone in a threatening world, and what lies ahead is vague and uncertain. Doctor says, "Treatment is simple. Great clown Pagliacci is in town tonight. Go and see him, that should pick you up." Man bur...

Buying yourself an Uber gift card is ironic.

Cause it's a free ride when you've already paid.

It's ironic...

Most anti-vax mothers are actually vaccinated.

Which, depending on what you believe, might explain their autism.

It's ironic that Alex Jones hates the LGBT community when he's secretly a drag queen.

His drag name is Miss Information.

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It's ironic that Thelma and Louise spend an entire film challenging sexist stereotypes

And then die at the end because of their terrible driving.

I never misused the word ironic, ironic right?

it's a bit of a paradox. THINK!

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Isn't it ironic...

that there's no Tolkien black man in The Lord of the Rings?

It’s ironic that Gordon Ramsay has so many kids….

Because he doesn’t serve raw meat

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[OC] What’s the most ironic amusement park ride?

The ferrous wheel.

What is the most ironic name for a fat man?

Jim

It's a bit ironic a website filled with people that don't read the articles

is called "Reddit"

What's ironic about having a left handed pen

It's for righting.

It's ironic...

How most people use the word "ironic" improperly.

A man stands over the coffin of his deceased wife. "Her star sign was cancer you know" he says. " I guess it's ironic..."

"That she was killed by a giant crab."

in the song 'ironic' from Alanis Morissette, there is no line that is ironic

... Isn't that ironic?

What is so ironic about Atheists?

A: they're always talking about God.

What's ironic about a casual screw?

He nuts and bolts

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It’s ironic that China doesn’t want us calling it “Chinese Coronavirus”.

They lay claim to just about about everything else even vaguely related to them: Tibet, Taiwan, Hong Kong, every tiny island for about 5,000 miles in any direction...

Isn't It Ironic?

My wife was trying to explain to me that I didn't know what irony meant, which was ironic because I had just taken a shower.

How ironic. My wife's niece got pregnant...

on a pull-out sofa.

How ironic is it...

to die in the living room?

My friend told me that I don't know what ironic means

Which was ironic because we were at a bus stop

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The only thing more ironic than a mother calling her son a son of a bitch...

Is a kid calling his father a motherfucker.

With all the bars closed, how horribly ironic is it that Joe Diffie died?

We can't even prop him up beside the juke box.

It’s a bit ironic.

Trump seems to be a champ at pulling out, but he still has 5 kids.

[NSFW] You know what's ironic?

That Bill Clinton's term was between two Bushes.

Ironic

One bright day in the middle of the night
Two dead boys got up to fight.
Back to back they faced each other
Drew their swords and shot each other.
A deaf policeman heard the noise
and ran to save the two dead boys.
And if you don't believe it's true
go ask the blind man, he ...

The ironic thing about the James Gunn situation

I am seeing a lot of conservatives being anti Gunn

Isn't it just a little ironic to see a group of pro-lifers

throwing eggs at an abortion clinic?

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