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Queer Jokes

Can some please explain to me what it means to identify as queer

Because looked it up and there were no straight answers

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Twas The Night Before Christmas

Twas the Night before Christmas
And All Through the house
Everyone Felt Shitty
Even the Mouse
Mom on the Toilet
Dad smoking grass
I had just settled down for a nice piece of ass.

When out on the Roof
I heard such a clatter
I spring...

How do we know America is Queer?

You've never heard of anyone celebrating a straight-centinial, have you?

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What do astronomers and queer-friendly Hollywood studios have in common?

They like to star gays.

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In LGBTQ acronym, "Q" stands for "queer" or "questioning"...

It's the "Don't ask, can't tell" sexual orientation.

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My friend called me a queer for using chapstick...

I'm not gay, I just like the way it feels in my ass.

The Queer eye producers want to to run a spinoff show with the singer P!nk

But pink eye for the straight guy never really took off

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The Hot Dog Episode

Two drunks were sitting on a street corner wondering if they should buy a beer with their last dollar. One of the drunks suggested that they buy a hotdog. The other started bitching, complaining that he couldn't drink a hotdog. The other drunk told him his idea.

"What we do is buy a hotdog, ...

Realistically and Potentially . . .

A young boy went up to his father and asked him, 'Dad, what is the difference between potentially and realistically?'

The father thought for a moment, then answered, 'Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars.

Then ask your sister if she would sleep w...

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Why was the Mad Hatter acting a little queer?

He had a hare up his ass.

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I just realized the other day that I'm gay.

It's finally Crystal queer!

Queer Irishman

Sean: Did ya here the one about the queer Irishman?
Brian: No.
Sean: Seems he was spotted leaving the pub at 11 o'clock with a girl.
Brian: So?
Sean: Closing time's one.

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Two British army generals are catching up in the mess hall after years of not seeing one another during WWII.

“So Reginald, how you been my old mate?”

“Oh good good. Survived some close calls but can’t complain. How’s the ol’ wife Montgomery?”

“She’s well. Doing well.”

“And Manfred? You see him much?”

“Yep he’s fine. Lost most of his hearing in the battle at Vimy, but bless hi...

When's the best time to come out of the closet?

When the coast is queer.

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Burly gentleman.

There was a dad who was worried about his son's behavior. He was worried about his son becoming "one of those queers."

The dad found an ad for a winter camp logging up north, so thinking he would make his son a right burly gentleman, he sent his son off to winter camp.

8 weeks of wint...

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What do you call a homosexual dwarf?

A little queer.

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Logic 101

Two Tennessee Rednecks, Bubba and Jim Bob, are sitting at their favorite bar, drinking beer. Bubba turns to Jim Bob and says, "You know, Im tired of going through life without an education. Tomorrow I think Ill go to the Community College, and sign up for some classes."

Jim Bob thinks its a ...

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Logic

Two friends were sitting in a bar one night and one said to the other, "You know I'm tired of being stupid. I think I'm going to go to college." The other man just laughs at him in disbelief.


The next morning the guy goes to the local community college and tells them he wants to start. T...

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Logical Analyst

A guy's sitting in the pub at the bar and strikes up a conversation with the dude next to him:


"So what do you do for a living then, mate?"

- "I'm a Logical Analyst"

"What does that mean?"

- "Here, let me demonstrate... Do you have any pets?"

"Yeh, we've ...

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A scholar and the village drunkard gets into a friendly competition of who's smarter...

The people gather at the field outside of the village waiting for the showdown to take place.

The scholar says, "The rules are simple, we both will communicate each other without using words. Once one person cannot interpret the other, he loses."

The two met in face to face while othe...

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Three Safari Men

There were three men (a pastor, a father, and a good 'ol boy redneck) that happened to be taking a safari of the Amazon rainforest when they are separated from the rest of the group. After a few days and trying to find their way back to civilization, they were captured by a local tribe, bound and b...

The tale of Thanksgiving.

It's that time of year, so raise a cheer, here's to drinking beer and shooting deer. Here's to friends who are sincere and friends who will endear. When others appear we give them a leer, but not so severe that they leave out of fear. We send pioneers to explore the frontier, and they return bearing...

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How the Seven Dwarfs got their names..

Miss Snow White was a randy cow
And desperate for a fcuk,
So off she went into the woods
To try and get some luck.

She’d almost given up looking
When she saw some chimney smoke,
Then she stumbled on the cottage
And went on in for a poke.

Her clothes came off in second...

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