The Queer eye producers want to to run a spinoff show with the singer P!nk

But pink eye for the straight guy never really took off

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Why was the Mad Hatter acting a little queer?

He had a hare up his ass.

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I just realized the other day that I'm gay.

It's finally Crystal queer!

What do you call a Jewish queer?

Heblew

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In LGBTQ acronym, "Q" stands for "queer" or "questioning"...

It's the "Don't ask, can't tell" sexual orientation.

Queer Irishman

Sean: Did ya here the one about the queer Irishman?
Brian: No.
Sean: Seems he was spotted leaving the pub at 11 o'clock with a girl.
Brian: So?
Sean: Closing time's one.

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Logic

Two rednecks decided that they weren't going anywhere in life and
thought they should go to college to get ahead. The first one went to see a
professor who told him to take math, history, and logic.


"What's logic?" asked the first redneck.
The professor answered "Let ...

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Twas The Night Before Christmas

Twas the Night before Christmas
And All Through the house
Everyone Felt Shitty
Even the Mouse
Mom on the Toilet
Dad smoking grass
I had just settled down for a nice piece of ass.

When out on the Roof
I heard such a clatter
I spring...

A man without much of a formal education decides that he'd like enroll at his local college

His advisor recommends taking courses in English, European history, world religions and logic. "What's logic?" asks the man. "Why don't you ask your logic instructor" replies his advisor.

So the man goes to his logic instructor's office, introduces himself and asks what logic is about. "Well...

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What do you call a homosexual dwarf?

A little queer.

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Redneck learns more than he bargained for

Two Tennessee Rednecks, Bubba and Jim Bob, are sitting at their favorite bar, drinking beer. Bubba turns to Jim Bob and says, "You know, I'm tired of going through life without an education. Tomorrow I think I'll go to the Community College, and sign up for some classes." Jim Bob thinks it's a good ...

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Two Best Friends

Two best friends graduated from medical school at the same time. They decided that in spite of their two different specialties, they would open a practice together to share office space and personnel.

Dr. Smith was a psychiatrist and Dr. Jones was a proctologist; they put up a sign reading: D...

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How the Seven Dwarfs got their names..

Miss Snow White was a randy cow
And desperate for a fcuk,
So off she went into the woods
To try and get some luck.

She’d almost given up looking
When she saw some chimney smoke,
Then she stumbled on the cottage
And went on in for a poke.

Her clothes came off in second...

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There once was a man from Nantucket

He saw a pig and wanted to fuck it.

The pig said "I'm queer but not from the rear"

"Come around to the front and I'll suck it."

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Difference in Grandparents

There was this loving grandfather who always made a special effort to spend time with his son's family on weekends.

Every Saturday morning he would take his 5-year-old granddaughter out for a drive in the car for some quality time -- pancakes, ice cream, candy -- just him and his granddaught...

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What do you it if call your same sex friend is wanting you to kiss them?

Queer Pressure.

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Burly gentleman.

There was a dad who was worried about his son's behavior. He was worried about his son becoming "one of those queers."

The dad found an ad for a winter camp logging up north, so thinking he would make his son a right burly gentleman, he sent his son off to winter camp.

8 weeks of wint...

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Two Roosters

A farmer had an old rooster. He wanted a young lively one to mate with the hens, so the farmer went out and bought one. As soon as the young rooster was set loose the old rooster came over and said "What are you doing here?". The young rooster said in reply "I was brought here to screw all of your h...

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The Immortal Bard

*This is not my joke, it is actually a short story written by Isaac Asimov, but it is written like a joke. One that I found quite humorous. Hope it belongs here.*

"Oh, yes," said Dr. Phineas Welch, "I can bring back the spirits of the illustrious dead."

He was a little drunk, or maybe ...

When's the best time to come out of the closet?

When the coast is queer.

Realistically and Potentially . . .

A young boy went up to his father and asked him, 'Dad, what is the difference between potentially and realistically?'

The father thought for a moment, then answered, 'Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars.

Then ask your sister if she would sleep w...

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There are two long-time neighbors, Bill and Bob...(long)

They live two houses away. One day, a stranger moves into the house right between them. Naturally, they're both curious about their new neighbor, so the first chance Bill gets, he strikes up a conversation.

In the course of their conversation, Bill asks the new neighbor what he does for a li...

The tale of Thanksgiving.

It's that time of year, so raise a cheer, here's to drinking beer and shooting deer. Here's to friends who are sincere and friends who will endear. When others appear we give them a leer, but not so severe that they leave out of fear. We send pioneers to explore the frontier, and they return bearing...

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Logic

Two friends were sitting in a bar one night and one said to the other, "You know I'm tired of being stupid. I think I'm going to go to college." The other man just laughs at him in disbelief.


The next morning the guy goes to the local community college and tells them he wants to start. T...

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The Hot Dog Episode

Two drunks were sitting on a street corner wondering if they should buy a beer with their last dollar. One of the drunks suggested that they buy a hotdog. The other started bitching, complaining that he couldn't drink a hotdog. The other drunk told him his idea.

"What we do is buy a hotdog, ...

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A scholar and the village drunkard gets into a friendly competition of who's smarter...

The people gather at the field outside of the village waiting for the showdown to take place.

The scholar says, "The rules are simple, we both will communicate each other without using words. Once one person cannot interpret the other, he loses."

The two met in face to face while othe...

So a tough guy walks in a bar...

He goes and takes a seat at the middle of the bar.

He says in a stern voice " Everyone to my left is a bunch of sissy's ...and everyone to my right is a bunch of queers "

A flamboyant voice from the back yells " I'm on the wrong side ! "

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Two Newfies picking college classes.

Two Newfies (the Canadian version of blondes I guess) are picking classes for college.

The first one goes into the councillors office to sign up. Inside, the councillor says to him, "I'm going to recommend five classes for you: Math, English, Science, History, and Logic."

"Logic?" the...

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Logical Analyst

A guy's sitting in the pub at the bar and strikes up a conversation with the dude next to him:


"So what do you do for a living then, mate?"

- "I'm a Logical Analyst"

"What does that mean?"

- "Here, let me demonstrate... Do you have any pets?"

"Yeh, we've ...

The Out of Towner

A guy walked into a bar in Alabama and ordered a white wine. Everybody sitting around the bar looked up, expecting to see some pitiful yankee queer.

The bartender looked up and said, "You ain't from around here, are ya? Where ya from, boy?"

The guy said, "I'm from Iowa."

The bar...

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