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Hilarious Jokes

Best incest joke? It's actually pretty hilarious, but I won't tell you.

We keep it in the family

Vietnam veteran's hilarious true story

A bunch of US soldiers were marching across a field. One of the guys says to his buddy, "Hey, do you see where we are?" He looks around and realizes they are walking through a massive field of marijuana. The soldiers started breaking off plants and stuffing them into their clothes and their helmets,...

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I asked my wife why she married me.

I asked my wife why she married me.

She said “Because you are funny.”

I said “I thought it was because I was good in bed.”

She said “See? You’re hilarious!”

You know what would be a hilarious prank?

Make people study for 18 years and dont give them a job.

I just farted on my wallet

Now I have Gas Money!

*Told to me by my 9 year old daughter, who thought it's hilarious! (I agree lol)

My mushroom just cracked a hilarious joke

I have a feeling he is a Fungi

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What do Tetris and sex have in common?

There’s no winning, it’s just about how long you last


Edit: stop saying I obviously don’t have sex. We’re on reddit. Isn’t that obvious by now?
Also ty to all the absolutely hilarious comment, y’all have made my day

Yo mama so fat it's hilarious

I'm not laughing but the floor is cracking up

Stupid but I think it’s Hilarious

How does a momma bumble bee feed her baby?

The most hilarious Yo Mama Jokes, Let's do it guys!

Three from my side:

Your Mama So Fat,

when she step on the Weight Scales it says...'to be continued'...

she once went on a seafood diet...whenever she saw food she ate it!

folk exercise by jogging around her!

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7 hilarious jokes

A guy meets a sex worker in a bar. She says, ‘This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for £300 as long as you can say it in three words.’ The guy replies, ‘Hey, why not?’ He pulls his wallet out of his pocket and lays £300 on the bar, and says ...

What does a girl want more than anything in the world?

Nothing. She's fine.

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With the way I see Asian people driving, it got me thinking...

Pearl Harbor might have been an accident.

The most German joke I know (source: am German): Why are there so few crimes in Germany?

Because its illegal.


edit: danke kind stranger for the gold, I will put it in my grandchildrens Sparbuch of course

edit2: the thing with the anti joke is that its not really an anti joke in German, what makes it more hilarious, for, you know... Germans.

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One of the British national daily newspapers was asking readers: "What it means to be British?".

Some of the emails were hilarious but this one from a Swiss was a winner.
 
"Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for
a Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a
Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on a Swedish furniture and watch
Americ...

did anybody see that hilarious Amy schumer bit?

me neither

TIL "sugar" is the only word in the English language where "su-" makes a "sh" sound.

At least, I'm pretty sure...

FP Edit: Jesus RIP my inbox with "sure." Thanks for all the support and hilarious counter examples provided!

FP of Reddit! I'd like to thank all of you commenters and my dad and I love you all so much! Oh! And the ones salty about my edits, you guys really ...

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Dave (I repost this because its hilarious)

Dave was bragging to his boss one day, "You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them."

Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, "OK, Dave, how about Tom Cruise?"

"No dramas boss, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it." So Dave ...

Jokes about Jim Jones are hilarious

But always have the worst punchlines.

Chiropractors are hilarious.

They crack me up.

A new jokes store opens up in town.

A kid walks in to check out the place early the next day. Looking all around, he sees that the store has several recognizable items (such as whoopie cushions) and some unique items that he'd never seen before. There was also a wall full of candy, with weird names such as "Hoot Gummies" and "Woof Bar...

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Gay people find everything hilarious

They just don't seem to be able to keep a straight face

(My 4 year old finds this absolutely hilarious) Why was the cow wearing headphones?

So he can listen to mooosic!

Incest jokes are hilarious

Especially when everyone in the family gets in on it.

A man goes to a funeral and asks the widow:

Mind if I say a word?"
She says: "Please do."
The man clears his throat and says: "Plethora."
The widow replies: "Thanks, that means a lot."





Edit: thank you for the WONDERFUL cascade of follow on jokes below. Hilarious


Edit 2: First Gold. Cheers mate🥂

My mom thinks I'm hilarious, so

I'm just posting this here to finally prove that woman wrong.

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What do you call a sea Captain's hilarious fictional book about bellybuttons?

*A novel naval navel novel.*

Edit: I'm so sorry. I had to exorcise this shitty joke out of my head before it drove me insane.

Hilarious reply to hilarious 'I love you' proposal

It was just a casual talk with one of my best friends,when I told her
"*I'm a negative person will you be my modulus function*"(read it somwhere)

And her reply was
"*I'm a square root so cant take any negatives otherwise this whole thing will become complex*"

I got mathametic-zon...

I think dyslexia is hilarious.

So is tourettes you funch of cucking sock buckers!

I need your hilarious minds.

Help me come up with a funny thing to dress up as for a party that’s themed “be my date on this date”. AKA, dress up as a day of the year or holiday. Fave idea so far is going as a box for boxing day.

A French, a Brit, and an American are on an expedition in the Amazon

They are captured by a tribe of natives. The chief says to them, "you must die for intruding our land. But it is our custom to allow you to choose your own death."

After some time, the Frenchman says, "my great grandfather died by sword while fighting for France, I shall do the same to honor ...

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And it was fucking hilarious!

I once made a time travel joke.

I had a hilarious joke about how a forklift implies the existence of a spoonlift.

Then I realized that's just a catapult.

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Worst "joke" I've ever heard.

This is a "joke" told by one of my coworkers Jake. There was me him and 2 other coworkers sitting in the work truck.

Jake: You know how geese always fly in a V?

Me: Yeah

J: Well you know how sometimes the goose in the lead will switch and another goose will fly in the front?
...

I wanted to share this hilariously awful Polish joke with you, but...

I can't seem to find it on the PlayStation Store anymore.

I heard a hilarious joke about this procrastinator

But I don't feel like telling you guys about it yet.

Last time I traveled abroad airport security made a hilarious joke about my passport

I mean I had to hand it to them

Hilarious Job Interview Answer

**Interviewer :** Why did you leave your last job ..?
**Guy :** The company shifted the office and didn't tell me where it is....

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Fucked up but hilarious.

Pa is sitting on the couch when daughter walks in. Daughter asks Pa, "Pa can I have the car tonight?" Pa shrugs and says only if you suck my dick. Daughter agrees and gets on her knees and starts perform said task. Little way through, Daughter looks up and says, "Daddy, your dick tastes like poop." ...

Humorists of Reddit! I challenge your joke inventing skills! First comment gives the punch line; the reply is the rest of the joke!

edit: Thanks guys for some hilarious jokes! Keep 'em coming. I wanted to let you know that I've messaged the mods about this thread. Maybe it could be a weekly thread? Who knows.

What horror movie would Shakespeare find hilarious?

The Thing

The description is hilarious!

The title is deeply misinformed.

Sharing a meal is hilarious.

You'll be splitting your sides.

*GRANDMA IN COURT..* Brilliantly Hilarious:

Lawyers should never ask grandmas a question if they aren’t prepared for the answer!

In a trial, a small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, an elderly grandmother to the stand.

He approached her and asked; _"Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"_

She responded, _"Why, ye...

I’ve only got 1% left on my battery, but I wanted to share this hilarious joke real quick!

Knock

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I used to think that clowns doing the 1930’s cream pie gag was hilarious

Until I realized that I too have also been creampied by clowns

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Hilarious, subversive memo sent to 20,000 federal employees early in computer mass-messaging age

This memo was sent out to 20,000 federal employees in my agency in the early 1990s, when federal computer systems first got mass messaging. The first incarnation of this system allowed *any employee* to mass message. Some low-level employee sent this to all. Needless to say, the agency immediatel...

I don't think Schrodinger jokes are funny anymore.....

But I still find them absolutely hilarious

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(Joke my dad came up with and thinks is hilarious) "I'll bet Virgin River is an interesting show..."

"I didn't even know you could fuck a river."

My friend told me everytime he goes to this sub he finds new hilarious jokes

I was surprised at first, but then I remembered he has a short-term memory.

I came up with a hilarious joke about fermat

But the margin was too small to contain it

Trying to think of a hilarious Good Friday joke...

I really want to nail this.

My friend told me this hilarious joke about Parkinson's last night

But I don't want to tell it because I'm a little shaky on the details.

Trump jokes are hilarious...

Until you realize they're not jokes.

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