Stupid but I think it’s Hilarious

How does a momma bumble bee feed her baby?

Chiropractors are hilarious.

They crack me up.

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Boris Johnson dies...

His soul arrives in heaven and he is met by St.Peter at the Pearly Gates. Welcome to Heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there's a problem: We seldom see a Conservative here and we're not sure what to do with you."

"No problem, just let me in; I'm a believer," says Johnso...

Best incest joke? It's actually pretty hilarious, but I won't tell you.

We keep it in the family

I was sorting out my loose change when I dropped a 1p coin and saw it roll into a drain, which everyone around me thought was hilarious.

Laughing at my ex-pence.

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There were once three brothers...

They loved to go hunting together. All season long they would get up at the crack of dawn to hunt deer in the woods. However, the youngest brother had chronic bowel issues. He would try to get his “business” done before they started their hunting, but sometimes he would have to take some time in the...

I’ve only got 1% left on my battery, but I wanted to share this hilarious joke real quick!

Knock

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A man walks into a brothel...

A man walks into a brothel. He says to the madam, "Excuse me miss, what can I get with $10?" The Madam thinks for a second and says, "Well not much, but follow me". She leads the man down the hall and opens a door to room containing a mirror on the wall and a duck. "A duck!?" the man says. "Well for...

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I used to think that clowns doing the 1930’s cream pie gag was hilarious

Until I realized that I too have also been creampied by clowns

They call it Mormon but the last time I checked the men are always after more women.

My GF thought her joke was hilarious.

A group of women were at a seminar on how to live in a loving relationship with their husbands. The women were asked, "How many of you love your husband?

All the women raised their hands.


Then they were asked, "When was the last time you told your husband you loved him?"

Some women answered today, a few yesterday, and some couldn't remember.
The women were then told to take out their cell phones and text their husband - "I love y...

Ten years ago today I married my best friend

My girlfriend didn't think it was funny, but Steve and I were drunk and thought it was hilarious at the time.

I guess I'm funny

My boss just texted me: “Send me one of your funny jokes!”
I texted him back: “I’m busy working. I’ll send one later.”
“That’s hilarious,” he said. “Send another one!”

A couple fingers, Vaseline, and the grace of God

Not an original joke but hilarious nonetheless. Presented for your enjoyment.


This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years. The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke.

The noise would wake his w...

A joke by Mirza Ghalib (renowned Urdu / Persian poet) translated into English

Not sure if the humor is lost in translation but I found it hilarious. Anyway here goes:



I got drunk under the influence of love and told her that she’s my Goddess;

I immediately sobered up when she told me that Goddesses are worshipped by many.

Remember when we thought 2016 was a terrible year?

That was hilarious, wasn't it.

Hilarious Job Interview Answer

**Interviewer :** Why did you leave your last job ..?
**Guy :** The company shifted the office and didn't tell me where it is....

I told a mitosis joke in school once

I thought it was hilarious, but the class was divided.

Incest jokes are hilarious

Especially when everyone in the family gets in on it.

Did you hear the joke about the high wall?

It's hilarious, I'm still trying to get over it!

I was going to post a witty, hilarious and intelligent joke about time traveling

But you guys didn’t like it

[This isn't a joke but something on the sub I'd like to talk about - hopefully this doesn't get removed]

Can we all stop complaining about people using other people's jokes? Please?

The whole point of a joke is to make people laugh, so when we hear a funny joke we want to share it with others! How often have you come up with a hilarious original joke? Most jokes you tell were someone else's firs...

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7 hilarious jokes

A guy meets a sex worker in a bar. She says, ‘This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for £300 as long as you can say it in three words.’ The guy replies, ‘Hey, why not?’ He pulls his wallet out of his pocket and lays £300 on the bar, and says ...

A cop is speeding on the highway when he notices in his rear view mirror that he is being followed by an old lady.

Going over 100 mph, he realizes the civilian's car is going way too fast and needs to slow down. The cop begins to decelerate and the car follows suit. Eventually, the cop pulls over and the car pulls over as well. An old lady comes out of the car and stumbles up to the cop's window, almost tripping...

I heard a hilarious joke about this procrastinator

But I don't feel like telling you guys about it yet.

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Dave (I repost this because its hilarious)

Dave was bragging to his boss one day, "You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them."

Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, "OK, Dave, how about Tom Cruise?"

"No dramas boss, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it." So Dave ...

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I asked my wife why she married me.

She said “Because you are funny.” I said “I thought it was because I was good in bed.” She said “See? You’re hilarious!”

You know what would be a hilarious prank?

Make people study for 18 years and dont give them a job.

What do you call a hilarious mushroom

A fungi

today i saw two blind guys fighting

i yelled he has a knife they both ran away so fast it was hilarious

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Gay people find everything hilarious

They just don't seem to be able to keep a straight face

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How Come Big Dogs Make Little Dogs and Big Cats Make Little Cats But Why Cant Big Trains Make Little Trains?

I am 55 and this is my first joke that I learned and told.

Little Johnny was wondering one day and decided to ask his dad.... “Dad, how come big dogs can make little dogs and big cats can make little cats but why can’t Big trains make little trains?”
Little Johnny’s father replied “Well ...

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My cousin is a super hairy dude,

We used to nickname him Cousin "It" affectionately.

I remember chatting to him in our freshmen year trying to figure out what our dreams and aspirations were. Cousin It was a weird dude, he didn't really fit in most circles! He was always super quiet and didn't stand out much.
He was hell...

Last time I traveled abroad airport security made a hilarious joke about my passport

I mean I had to hand it to them

I think dyslexia is hilarious.

So is tourettes you funch of cucking sock buckers!

My friends and I have a lot of fun riding jet skis That time we had a fatal crash on the coast was especially hilarious.

We littorally died.

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Settling The Ultimate Debate (LONG, OC)

Jerry didn't really like his name, but it could have been much worse. He could have been named after his father Zorelle. Jerry had a dyslexic brother named Dave who worshipped Christopher Reeve and loved quoting the old Superman movies.

One day while in quarantine, Jerry was up early browsin...

The lion’s birthday is coming up and he wants entertainment.

So he tells the zebra to find the funniest animal in the whole kingdom. In order to do this the zebra decides to hold a competition in which animals will have to compete in front of a judge. Whoever the first one to makemake the judge laugh wins and will perform for the lion.

So the first thi...

My mom thinks I'm hilarious, so

I'm just posting this here to finally prove that woman wrong.

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What thing starts with F and ends in UCK?

Firetruck.
Kid's thought this was fucking hilarious.

I need your hilarious minds.

Help me come up with a funny thing to dress up as for a party that’s themed “be my date on this date”. AKA, dress up as a day of the year or holiday. Fave idea so far is going as a box for boxing day.

What horror movie would Shakespeare find hilarious?

The Thing

Vietnam veteran's hilarious true story

A bunch of US soldiers were marching across a field. One of the guys says to his buddy, "Hey, do you see where we are?" He looks around and realizes they are walking through a massive field of marijuana. The soldiers started breaking off plants and stuffing them into their clothes and their helmets,...

Trying to think of a hilarious Good Friday joke...

I really want to nail this.

My friend told me everytime he goes to this sub he finds new hilarious jokes

I was surprised at first, but then I remembered he has a short-term memory.

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What do you call a sea Captain's hilarious fictional book about bellybuttons?

*A novel naval navel novel.*

Edit: I'm so sorry. I had to exorcise this shitty joke out of my head before it drove me insane.

Two guys are driving together late at night

They notice a stake in the ground on the side of the road with the letters “RE” on it. “Hmmm” they ponder, “what’s that about?”

They continue on, and they notice another. Then one more.

At this point, the passenger merely sighs out of boredom, and then passes out, exhausted.

Mea...

what's the most hilarious thing a spoiled brat might say?

No I'm not

The most hilarious Yo Mama Jokes, Let's do it guys!

Three from my side:

Your Mama So Fat,

when she step on the Weight Scales it says...'to be continued'...

she once went on a seafood diet...whenever she saw food she ate it!

folk exercise by jogging around her!

*GRANDMA IN COURT..* Brilliantly Hilarious:

Lawyers should never ask grandmas a question if they aren’t prepared for the answer!

In a trial, a small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, an elderly grandmother to the stand.

He approached her and asked; _"Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"_

She responded, _"Why, ye...

Im as funny as a rock

Normally boring and sedimentary. But hilarious when thrown at someone

At dinner last night

The waiter kept making the freudian slip calling the caesar salad caesarean salad. I asked him if he had any natural births, because I am eating organic.

Nobody at the table found this funny so I thought I would share because I found it hilarious.

My friend told me this hilarious joke about Parkinson's last night

But I don't want to tell it because I'm a little shaky on the details.

The most German joke I know (source: am German): Why are there so few crimes in Germany?

Because its illegal.


edit: danke kind stranger for the gold, I will put it in my grandchildrens Sparbuch of course

edit2: the thing with the anti joke is that its not really an anti joke in German, what makes it more hilarious, for, you know... Germans.

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[NSFW] A guy walks into a bar (Warning, very long but VERY hilarious joke) It's my favorite one to tell.

He asks the bartender for a rum and coke and the bartender gives him an apple. The man is confused at first, but the bartender says "trust me, take a bite". The man takes a bite and proclaims, "Oh my god, this tastes like rum!" The bartender responds, "Now turn it around and take another bite." Th...

I made a playlist for hiking.

...
...
It has music from Peanuts, The Cranberries and Eminem.
I call it my Trail Mix.


I did not come up with the joke. I just heard it from a friend and thought it was hilarious and wanted to share it hoping it would make someone else smile as well :)

I wanted to tell a depressing, sad joke that was hilarious

So I phoned up Trump and said "that was hilarious"

What did Jesus say after he resurrected on the third day?

“You crossed the wrong guy”



I think all the redditors will agree, with this joke, I nailed it

My five-year-old, everyone.

My insanely witty five-year-old, ladies and gentlemen:

 

Step-daughter: "I'm hungry."

Me: "Nice to meet you, hungry, I'm dad."

Her: "Ahhhhgh could you not say that anymore?"

Me: "Aw why not, sweets?"

Her: "Because I don't like it when you call me na...

What do you call a Jamaican lizard that always wants to know what’s going on?

A Whataguana

(I made this up when I was quite drunk and I thought it was hilarious)

Trump jokes are hilarious...

Until you realize they're not jokes.

I came up with a hilarious joke about fermat

But the margin was too small to contain it

Sharing a meal is hilarious.

You'll be splitting your sides.

My wife has NO sense of humor

I still thought "hi 'Drowning', I'm Dad!" was hilarious.

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