Amusing Jokes

Haha - laughing

Hahaha - saracstic laughing

Hahahaha - Staying Alive

..but hate Cardi-o

A Milwaukee man and his wife recently received a call from an old friend whom they had not seen for years. Just before the three sat down to a little supper in the German style, the wife, seizing a favorable opportunity, whispered to her husband:

"We have only three bottles of beer in the hou... read more

.....but when I do, I probably stole it from someone else.

3 construction workers went on a hunting trip - a crane operator, a laborer, and a surveyor. The three spent a good hour walking through the woods, looking for the laborer's tree stand before they realized they were lost. Looking around, they had no way to figure out which way to go to get back to t... read more

Did you hear about the Mexican train killer? He had LOCOmotives

And thanks to modern architectural decor, it’s all in all a pretty solid waste system.

A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there’s a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever.
Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there’s a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually get... read more

A bus filled with burn victims unfortunately crashes over a cliff and they all arrive at Heaven's gates in front of St. Peter.

God instructs St. Peter to give them all one wish since they've had a tough life as burn victims.

St. Peter explains this to the group and the first person ask... read more

This is not so much of a joke as an amusing true story.

I was teaching math to some first graders, and we had been discussing place value for the past week.

It was Friday and I had been explaining that a 1 in the one's place is worth 1, but a 1 in the ten's place was worth 10.

S... read more

A somewhat predictable oldie but amusing nevertheless.

A guy was lost in the Sahara Desert, desperate for water, when he saw something far off in the distance. Hoping to find water, he walked towards the image only to find a little old man sitting at a card table with a bunch of neckties la... read more

That's the spirit.


Disclaimer: My girlfriend told me this one and she has repeatedly said it pretty much since last Christmas and stills finds it super amusing.

A man finds this amusing and asks the woman "Your baby looks healthy, what do you feed it?"

Woman: "Breastmilk and orange juice"

Man: "Which side's the orange juice? I wanna try"