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It's strange to see Christians advocating abstinence only sex education...

According to their own religion, even abstinence isn't 100% effective.

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A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, “My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?”

The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound.

The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, “We can’t tell you. You’re not a monk.”

The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway an...

Americans have a strange dialect.

It's all "sneakers" instead of "trainers"...

... and "sweater" instead of "jumper"...

... and "shooting range" instead of "high school"...

A little girl says to her mother: "Mummy, when you were away at work a strange lady came around"

"Not now," says Mummy. "Wait until Daddy gets home."

So they wait until Daddy gets home, and then Mummy says "Now dear, what were you saying about Daddy and the strange lady?"

And Daddy starts to say something but Mummy says, "You keep quiet - I'll be talking to my attorney in the morn...

When I was a little boy, a strange man stepped out of a time machine and punched me for no reason.

Now at last I've managed to invent a time machine of my own, so I'm going to go back to when *he* was a little boy so I can punch him and see how he likes it!

Given that a radiator is essentially a vital organ to a car, it's strange that the town in the movie Cars is called "Radiator Springs."

It would be like if we called a city "Liver Pool."

This woman goes to the doctor's to have a strange mark on her tummy looked at...

The doctor said "Do you by any chance have a boyfriend who attends Wisconson University?"

The girl says "Why do ask?"

The doc says "I'm not just a doctor- I'm also an amateur detective. It looks like your lover likes to wear a sweater with the initial letter of their university emblazo...

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A guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom.

He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting.

"What's up?" he says.

"I'm having a heart attack," cries the woman.

He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he's dialing, his 4-year-old son comes up and says,"Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Ted's hidin...

My doctor said there’s something very strange about my pulse

I asked him what, but he couldn’t put his finger on it.

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A young Arab boy asks his father “What is that strange hat you are wearing?”

The father said: "Why, my son, it is a 'chechia.' In the desert it protects our heads from the intense heat of the sun.”

"And what is the long flowing robe you are wearing?” asked the boy.

“Oh, my son!” exclaimed the father “It is very simple. This is a 'djbellah.' As I have told you, ...

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I met this strange woman at the bar last night and we went back to her place to have sex. Now, I don't know if any of you know what a "screamer" in the bedroom is...

...but she had never been with one before and it really freaked her out.

It's been a bit of a strange day...

First I found a hat full of money... Then I got
chased down the road by an angry man with a
guitar?

When I first learned how to count, I found it very strange at the beginning.

It was odd at first, even then.

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A man goes into the doctor's office with a strange little lump on his forehead

The doctor does some tests, and then sits the man down.

"I have some bad news for you", the doctor says, "you have a penis growing out of your forehead".

The man is shocked, he yells: "that's horrible! I will look like a freak!"

"No, no, don't worry about that. You won't be ab...

A man gets change from an interaction with his friend, and noticed something strange.

He asked his friend:

“Why are these coins smaller than usual?”

His friend replied:

“I got the ‘new batch of coins’ from the bank”

The man asked another question:

“So why are they small?”

The friend answered again:

“The government has made coins small...

I ate a load of of licorice at bedtime and had some very strange nightmares.

What were you dreaming about?



All sorts.

The Avengers: Endgame trailer has 14 million views from just one person

Dr. Strange

There’s a strange new trend in my office.

People are naming food in the office refrigerator.

Today I had a turkey sandwich called Betty!

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My wife said my stew was too salty, was far too watery and left her with a strange metallic after taste.

Bitch... I put my blood, sweat and tears into that dish.

Having a mahogany breast would be really strange...

Wooden tit?

Dr Strange & Ironman

Not sure if this one has been posted here before. Been lurking around and first time posting!

Dr Strange : Yo mama so fat

Ironman : What does that have to do with Thanos?

Dr Strange : Thanos had to clap

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Strange...

Me to myself: Why do I get a boner when I look at myself at the mirror? Myself: Because your dick thinks you’re a pussy too!

Me: “Do you think it’s strange to talk to yourself?”

Me: “No.”

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My pussy does a very strange thing

It meows

A woman visits the doctor as she has some strange symptoms and suspects she may be pregnant.

After her examination, the doctor comes out to see her: "Well, I hope your husband likes changing diapers".

She replies: "Oh my god am I pregnant, am I pregnant!?"

To which he responds: "No, you've got bowel cancer."

An Iditerod racer took a sled dog to the vet. "He's acting very strange," said the dog owner. "He encourages the other dogs to hump him. Other than that, he's perfectly normal and a great musher. Should I be worried?"

"Not at all," said the vet. "He just identifies as female. What you have here is a Trans Siberian Husky."

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I went to my doctor to have him look at some strange spots on my arse. I pulled my pants down, he took a look and responded..

Weird flecks; butt ok.

After Quasimodo died, Notre Dame Cathedral needed a replacement bell ringer, and after several fruitless months a strange little man approaches one of the priests...

"I'd like the bell ringer job if it's still available." says the man. Confused, the priest says "Of course, but I'm afraid there might be some confusion. I can't help but notice that you don't have any arms, so ringing the bells would be quite impossible." The little man smiles and says "I come from...

I’m like Dr. Strange without the PHD and magic cape.

Strange...

When Beethoven passed away, he was buried in a churchyard. A couple days later, the town drunk was walking through the cemetery and heard some strange noise coming from the area where Beethoven was buried. Terrified, the drunk ran and got the priest to come and listen to it...

The priest bent close to the grave and heard some faint, unrecognizable music coming from the grave.

Frightened, the priest ran and got the town magistrate.

When the magistrate arrived, he bent his ear to the grave, listened for a moment, and said, "Ah, yes, that's Beethoven's Ninth Sy...

Everyone in this town is a bit tad strange.

Except, ironically, for Tad Strange.

He likes bread.

A quantum physicist and his friend go out for ice cream.

"What's your favourite flavour?" asks the friend.

"Charm," replies the physicist.

His friend looks at him.

"Why is it that whenever I ask you a question," begins the friend, "your answer is always strange?"

"Well it's strange *now*," the physicist protests, "shouldn't hav...

A man discovers a strange tradition at a resort

A man walks into a resort and the first sign he sees says “Lool Area”. He was confused and asked one of the employees about it.
“Yes, we have this tradition here where we replace the first ‘P’ of a word that starts with P with an ‘L’”
The man thought this was strange, but as long as there were...

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After 10 years, the wife starts to think their kid looks kind of strange.

After 10 years, the wife starts to think their kid looks kind of strange. So she decides to do a DNA test. She finds out that the kid is actually from completely different parents.

Wife: "Honey, I have something very serious to tell you."

Husband: "What’s up?"

Wife: "According t...

“A friend of mine developed a strange addiction and drinks brake fluid.

When I warned him of the dangers, He said " No worries, I can stop anytime."

A strange sight was seen in the Skies of Medieval Canterbury

It was a flying Chaucer!

A strange man told me that he would give me 1 million dollars, but the person I loathed most in the world would get 1 billion dollars. He asked if I would accept?

"Easy," I replied, "Of course I'll take it."


"I'm just not sure what I'm going to do with 1.001 billion dollars"

Been getting strange looks from my coworkers today.

Guess I better put my pants back on.

John walks into a bar and sees a strange man in the corner.

This man in the corner was no ordinary man, as this man had a giant orange head. John walks to the bartender and says "Hey, what's up with the guy in the corner with the big orange head?" The bartender replies, "If you buy him a drink, he'll tell you his story." John was very interested in this man,...

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A 16yr old boy is cleaning his grandparents attic. When he uncovers a strange lamp.

As soon as he grabs the lamp a genie appears. "One and only one wish you have" bellows the genie. Being a young and naive boy only one thought comes to mind. Without much thought he blurts out "I wish the be in between the legs of a beautiful woman". The genie booms "wish granted". With a snap of hi...

The law is very strange thing...

If the government finds oil in your backyard, it is theirs.

If they find marijuana, it is yours...

If your man comes home late at night smelling of strange perfume...

You're probably getting perfume for Christmas.

There's a strange look of satisfaction from alot of dudes coming from that class...

I guess a lot of girls wanted to go down in history.

My girflriend was telling me about this guy on Strange Addictions who drinks a gallon of brake fluid every day

I guess the good thing is at least he can stop whenever he wants

A man approached me today acting strange and asked me to help him find his back garden..

I think hes lost the plot!

I find it strange how everyone suddenly cares about straws killing dolphins...

They've been breaking camels' backs for years.

My brother has a strange relationship with shoes

He converses with them

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I bought a Ouija board recently from a strange old man...

I got it home, laid out the pieces and before I could even ask it a question the planchette started to move around, it eventually spelt

I'VE GOT A MESSAGE TO YOU


'What is your message?' I asked.

YOU SHOULD BE DANCING

Fear started flushing over me, 'Why s...

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What do you call a strange but familiar, unexplainable feeling in your anus?

Gay-ja-vu

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Strange Anatomy

These two Italian brothers own a garage. They hire this Korean guy as a mechanic. One morning the brothers go to open the garage and they find the Korean guy in the alley and he's dead. They call the police.

Cop: What was his full name?
Tony: I don't know. We called him Park.

Cop:...

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You might think I'm strange, but my favourite porn is where a kitten is saying "yes" or where a kitten is saying "absolutely"...

Those are my favourite catagrees.

In a strange way, I was really looking forward to the hurricane and I was disappointed when it was downgraded...

I thought others round these here parts would echo my sentiment, but I guess Carolinians are used to being disappointed by the Hurricanes.

Scientists have recently discovered a new bioluminescent bug that performs a strange dance any time there is a full moon.

They are calling it a Raving Luna Tick.

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Three strange facts.

The teacher asked her students:
-can someone please say something unusual but true?
John is the only one who raised his hand:
- the dick is hard, but it has no bones!
-John how can you say something so rude?! Someone else please?
Nobody says nothing but John:
-pussy is wet, and yet...

A politician dies...

And ends up standing in front of the pearly gates. Saint Peter looks at him for a second, flicks through his book, and finds his name.

"So, you're a politician..." "Well, yes, is that a problem?" "Oh no, no problem. But we've recently adopted a new system for people in your line of work, and ...

Be careful picking up strange AirPods off the street

You might get hearing AIDS

Mahatma Gandhi was a strange person.

He walked barefoot everywhere, to the point that his feet became quite thick and hard. He often went on hunger strikes, and even when he wasn't on a hunger strike, he did not eat much and became quite thin and frail. He also was a very spiritual person. Finally, because he didn't eat much and when h...

Fishermen hate him—you'll never guess this one strange item he uses to catch more fish than anyone else

Click bait

A woman turns to her husband and says, "I feel like you aren't even listening to me."

To which the man turns to his wife and says, "that's a strange way to start a conversation."

If you thought Stephen Strange couldn't be Sorcerer Supreme...

...you'd be Wong.

What are strange doughnuts made out of?

Weird doughs...

When I was visiting Mexico, I found it strange that they would keep cheese in their first aid kits.

Turns out it was just there in queso emergency.

Whenever my buddy gets high, he gains a strange ability to speak multiple languages.

He is Rosetta stoned.

Feeling strange, Mr. Bond?

That’s because my assistant just injected you with the measles vaccine. You’re autistic now.

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Bubba died in a fire and his body was burned pretty badly.

The morgue needed someone to identify the body, so they sent for his two best friends, Darryl and Gary. The three men had always done everything together!

Darryl arrived first and when the mortician pulled back the sheet Darryl said, “Yup, his face is burned up pretty bad. You better roll him...

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Today an old lady with strange powers asked if I wanted great memory or a massive penis

I just wish I remembered which one I chose.

A boy named Carol had a particularly rough childhood because of his uncommon name. He always got a lot of teasing and abuse at school. Eventually, he overcame his hang-up and married his high-school sweetheart.

When their first child was born, he let his wife name her.

She named the baby girl "Love" inspired in the same spirit as Carol's unique name.

Unfortunately, Love grew up and endured much of the same teasing that Carol did, because of her strange name.

She came home from school...

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A man meets a strange woman on a train in a sleeping coupe.

After a few awkward moments they make an arrangement that the woman will sleep on the top bunk and the man will sleep on the bottom bunk.

In the middle of the night, the woman gets up and prods the man to wake him up.

"Please, sir, I'm sorry for bothering you, but could you ask the con...

People in Germany are nice but strange.

Why do they keep calling me Dan Keschon?

A lawyer named Strange died.

His friends asked the tombstone inscriber to write "Here lies Strange, an honest man and a lawyer" on the headstone. The inscriber suggested this would confuse people, who would think three men were buried there. He suggested "Here lies a man who was both honest and a lawyer." "Whenever anyone walks...

A woman dies and finds herself at the gates to haven.

When she gets there, she is confused as she saw how many others are standing and sitting outside, cracking eggs, mixing batter, and baking something.

She turns around and sees an entire section dedicated to decoration, with elaborate concoctions of strawberries, frosting, and tiering at every...

One day, a farmer found a strange, ancient-looking stone in his field.

Inscribed into it were characters of an apparent forgotten alphabet. Images of priests in strange clothing conducting some bizarre ritual had been carved into the surface as well.



Not knowing whether his find was worth a fortune (and curious to know what was said on the tablet), the ...

My friend asked me if I wanted to watch Dr. Strange.

I declined because I have Stranger Things to watch.

There's a strange new trend at work, people are writing names on the food in the company fridge

Today I had a chicken sandwich named Kevin

A teacher has a very strange phone policy.

If a student's phone rings in class, they have to put it in speaker. The teacher believes this to be quite funny.
One day in class, one kid's phone rings. As per policy, she puts it on speaker.
The person on the other end begins. "Hello? This is your doctor. We would like to inform you that yo...

I got a strange note in my bag at the Taco Bell drive-thru last night...

The lady seemed very frazzled and the note said "help there are two armed men inside."

I drove off laughing, thinking "well yeah it would take forever to make tacos with one arm"

A man writing in his diary:

I am an ideal man. I don't smoke, drink, or go to night clubs. I have always been loyal to my wife and don't flirt with strange women. I sleep at eight o'clock and wake up early. I exercise daily and work regular hours. But all this will change as soon as I get out of prison.

My girlfriend is very strange...

When we go to bed, she starts placing slices of beetroot circling her muff.

Every time I ask her about it she goes off on one about how great salads are...

"Jeez", I thought, "why does she always have to beet around the bush".

Today a strange stranger chased me for 10 miles. which made me think

whats so precious in her purse?

I find it very strange and coincidental that Jesus.

Was born on Christmas day and died on good Friday.

[NO SPOILERS] What do you call Doctor Strange’s assistant in an elevator?

Wong on so many levels.

Dr. Strange: I went forward in time... to view alternate futures. To see all the possible outcomes of the coming conflict.

Dr. Strange: I went forward in time... to view alternate futures. To see all the possible outcomes of the coming conflict.

Me: How many did you see?

Dr. Strange: Fourteen million six hundred and five.

Me: Did I win any arguments with my wife?

Dr. Strange: ...One. ...

We have a strange custom in our office...

The food has names there. Yesterday for example I got me a sandwich out of the fridge and its name was "Michael".

Strange that my kids can't remember to say the "please" word

but boy do they remember the word I used that one time in heavy traffic last year.

A strange man was knocking on Paris Hilton’s door all through the night.

By morning, she was fed up with it, so she let him out.

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