UPJOKE
positioncatcherpull hitterbaseballpitcherthird basemanoutfielderfirstsoftballinfielderinitiativeopeningbagbasethe

First Base Jokes

I couldn't get past first base with the native girl

she had her reservations

Horton must be a first base coach...

Since he hears a who.

A minor league baseball pitcher visits the baseball field the day before the big game

Wanting to get a feel for it, he goes alone and sees a horse near the dugout that seems to be wearing the hat and jersey of the opposing team he'll be playing against the next day. Surprised, he laughs and wonders if this is supposed the opposing team's mascot. He approaches the horse to pet it.
...

A Scottish man goes to his first baseball game...

He knows nothing about the game so when the first batter got walked, the Scotsman asked the fans next to him what happened.

"He got four balls, so he gets to go to first base freely," to which the Scotsman stood, and clapping loudly, shouted "Walk proud, lad! Walk proud!"

Redneck Algebra

First base with your second cousin three times on the fourth of July.

A Scotsman goes to America and attends his very baseball game.

He’s never been to a game in Scotland, nor watched a game on TV, or seen movies such as Bull Durham, The Babe or Eight Men Out.

He figures out players need to beat out the throw to first base before arriving to first base

The visiting teams pitcher throws 4 pitches out of the strike zo...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A British woman was touring the United States, and decided to go to a baseball game

She didn't understand the rules, but figured she could learn them by watching everyone else.

In the first inning, a batter hit a grounder and started running to first base. The man seated next to the woman jumped to his feet and shouted, "Run, you sunnuvabitch, run!"

A couple of innin...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Scottish man goes to his first baseball game...

The Scotsman sits down to enjoy the game and the first pitch is hit and the crowd jumps to their feet and cheers!

The man next to the Scotsman yells "RUN YOU BASTARD RUN!"

so the Scotsman echoes "RUN YOU BASTARD RUN!"

The next batter again makes contact with the pitch.

T...

A Scotsman...

newly immigrated to the U.S. wants to immerse himself in American life, so he goes to a baseball game. He has no clue how it's played, but every time the batter takes off for first base all the people around him yell, "Run! Run!" So he stands up and yells, "Rrrrun, laddie! Rrrrun!"

In the fou...

It’s the first baseball game of 2020

This was told to me by my 90 year old Grandpa.

It’s the first baseball game of the 2020 season. A father and son are watching the home opener of their favorite team on television. The first batter up to the plate gets hit with the ball and is walked down to first. While at the base, the runn...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Base ball

An American took a visiting English friend to a baseball game. The first three batters hit the ball and ran to first base. Two were thrown out, the third had a single. The next batter took a high fastball on a three-two pitch and walked to first. The Englishman said, "Those first three blokes ran li...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Scotsman moves to the United States and watches his first baseball game

When a runner hits a ground ball he watches everyone yelling for the player to run, when next player does the same thing he joins in. The next goes up to bat and he gets three balls and a strike. The last pitch is a ball and the player drops his bat and starts to walk to first base. The Scotsman yel...

Irish man's first baseball game.

An Irish man went to his first American baseball game. As the first batter made a hit, fans jumped up yelling, "RUN! RUN!"

The Irish man jumped up as well yelling, "Run, laddie! Run laddie!"

The next batter got up and made his hit. The fans again cheered, "RUN! RUN!"

The Irish m...

Walk with Pride

A man moves from Scotland to the US and attends his first baseball game. After a base hit he hears the fans roaring, "Run! Run!"

The next batter connects heavily with the ball and the Scotsman  stands up and roars with the crowd in his thick accent:  "R-r-r-un, yah bloody bahstard.   R-r-run!...

A Scotsman moves to America [long]

This is probably been here before, but I still think it's a good one.

A Scotsman moves to America. His new coworkers invite him to a baseball game. He decides to go to try to learn more about American culture. He has a $12 hot dog and a warm beer. Throughout the game, people keep jumping up ...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.