Jungle animals started a softball league...

The teams are separated by species.

A colorful long beaked bird, not sure where to go, asked an old monkey umpire, where his team was playing.

He replied, "Mongoose vs snakes are on field 1, ants vs frogs play on field 2..."

"Quit monkeying around", the bird chuckled, "I just wa...

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Low wage workers play basketball. Tradesmen go bowling. Middle managers play softball. Upper managers play tennis. CEOs play golf.

The lesson: the higher you climb, the smaller your balls get.

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Two Syrian refugees compete to see who can become the most American in three weeks.

After three weeks the Syrians meet again at a McDonalds. The first Syrian makes his case for him being more American by saying: "Every day I have taken my son to softball practice and my daughter to ballet. I just purchased my first car and it is a Chevy El Camino. I've recently started listening to...

I felt betrayed when my girlfriend joined a softball league without telling me

Of all the underhanded things...

Don't date a girl who just got hit in the eye with a softball.

She's a bad catch.

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Softball

A man walks into a bar and sits down. The bartender notices this guy has a head the size of a softball.

"What up with you?" the bartender asks.

"I was down on the beach and found lamp. I picked it up and this beautiful woman appears. She says, 'I will grant you any wish you desire.'...

Why did Cinderella get kicked off the softball team?

Because she ran away from the ball!

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Take that back Olympics

Here are the top nine comments made by sports commentators during the Olympics that they would like to take back....

1. Weightlifting commentator: "This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria . I saw her snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing."

2. Dressage commentator: "This is...

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The Muff Puff

So there was this married couple and the husband was a drunk. He would constantly drink and end up get abusive towards his wife.

So one day the wife gets fed up and decides she is going to go to the pet store and get something that will help defend herself. When she gets to the store an empl...

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Who's the most 'merican...

Shortly after 9/11, Achmed and Abdul were terrified with what Muslim men had done to their adopted country.


The shaved their beards, changed into western clothes, and made a pact to meet in a years time, and see who had the most "american life".


So a year goes by, and the two ...

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Where old guys eat

A group of softball players, all in their 40's, discussed where they
should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at
Hooters because the waitresses were young, good looking, had big breasts and wore short-shorts.
Ten years later, at age 50, the softball buddies once ag...

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The bitch

A man walks into a bar with a St. Bernard and asks for a martini. The dog requests a double martini.
The bartender says to the man "So you're a ventriloquist. Big deal. We don't serve dogs in here."

The man gets up to go to the men's room, and the dog again requests his drink.

The ...

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The Mermaid Joke

A guy walks into a bar and sees a man at the other end with a very small head, about the size of a softball. He walks up and says, I just have to ask, whats up with your head? The guy with the tiny head says, "I was walking along the beach alone one night and a mermaid appeared. She said that she...

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Good Blonde Joke

A blind guy walks into a lesbian bar and orders a drink. He sits for a while and doesnt hear much so he asks if anyone wants to hear a blonde joke. The bartender says, before you tell your joke I want you to know that there is a big blonde softball player sitting next to you, two blondes that cage...

What's Tom Brady's favorite sport?

Softball.

I heard the catchiest joke yesterday...

Women's softball.