How are dog catchers paid?

By the pound!

Ever read The Catcher in the Rye?

Or are you holden on for a better time to read it?

Where does a catcher sit down for dinner?

Behind the plate

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College kid home for the summer, answers an ad for an "Assistant Gorilla Catcher"

Old man says we usually don't get much work. But it pays $20 an hour, with a 40 hour week. Kid accepts the position and most of the summer goes by without a single phone call. Finally a call comes in for an escaped gorilla from the zoo, up a tree. Old man tells the kid to get the baseball bat and sh...

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Gorilla Catcher

One day a woman looks out her kitchen window and sees a gorilla in her backyard tree. She rushes to the yellow pages and finds "Gorilla Exterminators" and calls the first number she sees. A few minutes later a man drives up in a pick up truck with a ladder, a doberman, and a shotgun. He speaks wi...

Bob the Gorilla Catcher

One day a gorilla escapes from a zoo. In order to get the animal back, the zoo sends out Bob the gorilla catcher.

Bob gets in his pickup and starts cruising around the suburbs looking for the gorilla. After a couple hours of this, he spots the gorilla sitting on the roof of a garage.

H...

The Gorilla Catcher

A man looked out his window one day, and lo and behold, there was a huge gorilla up the tree in his back yard. Not knowing what to do, he googled "gorilla catcher" and amazingly, there was a professional gorilla catcher, close by. He called, and was told, "Stay in the house till I get there, but I'l...

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An attractive woman is in bed with her secret lover.

She hears her husband come home unexpectedly and tells her naked lover to jump into the wardrobe and hides his clothes. The husband walks into the bedroom to find his wife reading. “Hello honey, I got off work early and went to the gym, I desperately need a shower”. He opened the wardrobe door to ge...

Why is a fat dog so afraid of the dog catcher?

Because they're paid by the pound.

What would you title a novel about a rebellious Asian teenager?

The Catcher in the Rice

Jay-Z owned a baseball team.

From day one, it was a foregone conclusion that it would be a cellar-dwelling team. Everyone on that team had a batting average of below .150, and not a single player scored a home-run. The defense was horrible; every outfielder was scared of fly-balls, the infielders couldn’t catch line drives to s...

A Scotsman goes to America and attends his very baseball game.

He’s never been to a game in Scotland, nor watched a game on TV, or seen movies such as Bull Durham, The Babe or Eight Men Out.

He figures out players need to beat out the throw to first base before arriving to first base

The visiting teams pitcher throws 4 pitches out of the strike zo...

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The creation of a pussy, improved version.

Each man was a master-of-craft at his trade,


Now by God in his wisdom a task they'd been laid.


See them gathered together, by calling divine


to fashion a vulva of peerless design.


The first man, a butcher of eminent skill


took a hold of his bla...

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A man reads an advertisement in the paper for the best raccoon hound ever and decides to go have a look.

The man reaches out to the person who placed the ad and scheduled a date and time to meet. Upon arriving at the agreed-upon location, a patch of woods in Mississippi, the owner of the raccoon hound informs the man that this is in fact the best coonhound he has ever seen or owned. However the owner e...

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McTavish The Boat Builder [NSFW][Long]

So one day while on holiday Lee decides to visit a local bar...



While inside he orders a whiskey and while waiting for his drink his eye is caught by a man muttering obscenities a few stools over.

Curious, Lee decides to try his luck and asks what seems to be the problem.
T...

Because Soviet jokes are on-trend...

The CIA, the FBI and the KGB are competing for the title of the Best Criminal Catcher. They're given a task by the General Secretariat of UN to catch a rabbit in the forest which he'd released. The CIA plants well-trained animal spies throughout the forest, and after 3 months of investigation they c...

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A man, a dog, a bears nuts.

One night Mr jones had terrible trouble getting to sleep due to loud banging noises and scuffling coming from his roof. In the morning he ventured outside, looked up and saw that a very large, very angry looking bear had climbed onto his roof and was wandering around growling and battering at the c...

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Strike 1 !

People always ask me about my brother who plays in the MLB but they never ask me about two of my other brothers who are both gay . which is sad . They only care about the pitcher but not the catchers.

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A dog is walking down the street.

Suddenly, another pooch appears out of the alley next to him. This dog is panting and looks terrified. The first dog barks.
"Hey man! Are you alright?"
The terrierified canine shouts.
"NO! I've been through a awful experience!"

"Tell me! Calm down and tell me whats happened!"
The...

So there is this guy named Juan...

So there is this guy named Juan and Juan is a great guy. He doesn't drink he doesn't smoke, he doesn't beat his wife and kids. He doesn't kick his armadillo a cross the back yard.

One day, person number one comes up to him and says "Juan, you're a great guy. You don't drink. You don't smoke....

A man goes to the beach...

...and he sets himself up to show off his new beach bod. A few women glance his way, but none strike up a conversation. He looks a little ways down the beach to see lots of women around an older guy who is nowhere near as chiseled as him.

As the crowd disperses, the man approaches his compe...

What do Mike Piazza, and an altar boy have in common?

They were both catchers for the Padres.

One day in the great state of Alabama...

...a man walks outside and hears this strange noise coming from one of his trees. He proceeds to walk over to his tree and looks up in the tree to find the source of this noise. What he finds is a large gorilla moving around in the top of his tree trying to get comfortable.

The man stops an...