What’s the best first name for a news anchor that breaks a lot of big stories?

This: Justin.

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My girlfriend has the same first name as my sister

It makes it really weird when I'm fucking her and I think of my girlfriend.

Mr. Bean's first name

Fun Fact : Mr. Bean's first name is Mr. As seen on his passport in the movie.

Why does Hillary Clinton have two Ls in her first name?

1 for 2008, 1 for 2016

An Arabian man named Aghun has fourteen sons, each with a different first name. What title can be applied to each of them individually, as well as collectively?

They’re all a son of Aghun.

Ever hear of that NBA player named Druff? Think his first name is Dan...

They say he’s Head & Shoulders above the competition!

Mr. Peterson walks into Cheers, and gets his usual greeting, which is everyone in the bar loudly shouting his first name.

It was funny the first few times, but after that, it became the norm.

Recent studies have shown that first names have a significant impact on pregnancy rates.

For example someone called Mary is much more likely to get pregnant than someone called Tom.

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Hey sexy, is your first name Cigarette?

Because I really want to get you lit and stick your butt in my mouth.

God's First Name

This guy dies and goes to heaven. When he gets there, St. Peter is standing at the gate. He says, "If you can answer these three questions I will let you in to heaven. First, how many seconds are in a year? Second, how many days of the week have a 'T' in them? Third, what is God's first name? You ha...

What was Alzheimer's first name?

You don't remember? That's how it begins.

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The definition of Rodeo Sex - When you accidentally call your partner by the wrong first name.....

Then try and stay on for 8 seconds.

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Christians have the first name Christian, Muslims Mohammed, Jews Isaac, what boys name do atheist have?

Godfrey

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With Apologies To Abbot And Costello

There were these two kids who ran away from their home in Why, Arizona. One was a tall, white kid. The other was a short, Asian kid. After running away from home, a police officer notices them. They were caught milking baby gila monsters for their venom. The cop didn't want to send them to juvi...

Forest Gump dies and goes to Heaven

The day finally arrived: Forrest Gump dies and goes to heaven. He is at the Pearly Gates, met by St Peter himself.

St Peter says, "Well Forrest, it's certainly good to see you. I must inform you that the place is filling up fast and we've been administering an entrance examination for everyon...

Ancient Greek name translation

I have been doing some research into the meaning of my name.

I was delighted to find that in Ancient Greek my second name translates to ‘Attractive to women’.

Unfortunately my first name translates to ‘Not very’.

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Ten Lines to Get You Out of Jury Duty

1. I can tell if people are guilty just by looking at them.

2. I am really attracted to you, Your Honor.

3. If a police officer told me I was a bug, I'd believe him

4. I think laws are for sissies.

5. Would I have to bathe?

6. Can each of my personalities vote in t...

My bartender is rather forgetful

He can remember that my first name is "Al" just fine, but I have no idea how he keeps mixing up "Smith" with "Coholic".

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The Tale of Kevin Bopper

Back in high school there was this kid named Kevin Bopper. He was... strange, to say the least. He was that quiet kid with long, greasy, dandruff-ridden hair, a face full of acne, and wore a leather jacket- you know the type. The thing that made him stand out, however, was his weird fixation on traf...

Red Skeleton’s Recipe for the Perfect Marriage

1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.
2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas.
3. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
4. I...

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A man comes into the courthouse and says...

"Hello, my name is Alexander Dickwank."
"That's... unfortunate", replies the clerk, "are you here for a name change?"
"Indeed, I would like to change my first name to Edward."

The Goldberg Brothers - Are well known as the Inventors of the automobile Air Conditioner.

Here's a little known fact for automotive buffs, or just to dazzle your friends. The four Goldberg brothers, Lowell, Norman, Hiram, and Maxwell, invented and developed the first automobile air-conditioner. On July 17, 1946 , the temperature in Detroit was 97 degrees. 

The four brothers walked...

I married Miss Right!

I just didn’t know her first name was Always.

A frog goes into a bank

“What can I help you with?” asks the Teller.

“I’d like to apply for a loan” says the frog.

“Oh” says the Teller “you need to speak with our Loan Officer, Miss Whack”.

The Teller leads the frog to Miss Whacks office and, informs her that the frog wants to apply for a loan. “What ...

When I eventually met Mr Right,

I had no idea his first name was Always.

\- Rita Rudner

Last Name Only !

The manager of a large office noticed a new man one day and told him to come into his office.



“What’s your name?” he asked the new guy.



“John,” the new guy replied.



The manager scowled, “Look... I don’t know what kind of a namby-pamby place you work...

My girlfriend told me to call her Mrs. Right

She forgot to tell me her first name was Always

The phone at a local bar started to ring

“Hello?” The bartender asked.

“Hi I’m looking for someone. Last name King, first name Joe?” The mysterious voice asked.

The bartender started to remember the mischievous pranks on TV that started like this. Angry, he started to go off, “Oh, so you think you’re funny, huh? You joking ar...

My boss said that for this new contract need someone someone he can trust, someone reliable. I replied "You can count on me, my second name is reliable."

My first name is Un.

Mother of six

A husband, who has six children, begins to call his wife “mother of six” rather than by her first name. The wife, amused at first, chuckles. A few years down the road, the wife has grown tired of this. "Mother of six," he would say, "what’s for dinner tonight? Get me a beer!" She gets very frustrate...

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