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Eyewitnesses Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A nazi walks into a bar...

How someone can hit their head multiple times on a metal bar lying on the ground is a mystery, but that's what the eyewitnesses all claim happened.

A young boy deposit 100$ everyday in the bank...

One day the general manager noticed the young boy and asked the clerk about him. He then told him that the young boy comes everyday and deposit exactly $100 each time. So the manager told the clerk to send him the lil boy the next time he comes to the bank. The next day the boy comes in and he's sen...

The search for escaped psychic Chris Tolbol has ended tragically today.

He was discovered after being hit by a train.

Eyewitnesses state that he didn't see it coming.

Police are looking for a man selling marijuana to birds.

Eyewitnesses report he left no tern unstoned.

TIL that while little is known about the Tiananmen Square "Tank Man," many eyewitnesses claim that he was actually run over shortly after the famous footage was taken. Indeed, the Mandarin nickname for this folk hero is "The Lobster"...

...because he was a crushed Asian.

Rudolph the Red-nosed reindeer died today over Barcelona. He was struck by a flock of seagulls and a 747.

Eyewitnesses say the reindeer in Spain was hit mainly by the plane.

[BREAKING NEWS] A bomb has just exploded in a Paris cheese shop.

Eyewitnesses report there is currently de Brie all over the place.

THIS JUST IN: Foreign suppliers of shredded cheese on strike.

Eyewitnesses report protesting workers holding signs that read: "MAKE AMERICA GRATE AGAIN"

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