My Uncle John's Bathroom Reader calendar has these jokes from Philogelos ("Love of Laughter"), the oldest surviving joke book, dating back to the 4th century AD. They held up surprisingly well.

* A cheapskate wrote his will and named himself as the heir.
* An intellectual came to check in on a friend who was seriously ill. When the man's wife said that he had departed, the intellectual replied, "When he arrives back, tell him that I stopped by."
* An envious landlord saw how happy hi...

Did you know there are tents surviving that Genghis Khan used to sleep in? I just scored one on eBay!

Thought you would appreciate my original Kahn tent.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Cockroaches are found to be capable in surviving a nuclear holocaust, but if you swat it with a newspaper it would die instantly

This shows how toxic the media is

Teacher : What do you do after school ?

"I always go to buy cigarettes from Basil" - Girl 1

"I always go to buy weed from Basil" - Boy 1

"I always go to buy cocaine from Basil" - Girl 2

"I always go and do my homework" - Boy 2

The teacher, nearly surviving a heart attack after hearing the answers, had a smile o...

After surviving an attempted robbery I started carrying a gun with me everywhere I go.

Now my robberies are much more successful.

An Asian, an European and an American is stranded on an island after surviving a sinking ship accident.

They now want to start a new society, at least until they're rescued.

The American decides to be the minister of building and construction and the European takes the position as the minister of food and cooking.

Left over, the Asian is now pretty disappointed that they can't find any m...

Imagine finally surviving Covid19...

then China just releases Covid19S Plus Pro Max.

What is the fastest way to learn surviving a car crash?

A crash course

Surviving an attempted murder on April 1st.

Is just gods way of saying "April Fools"

My grandfather was in the air force in the Second World War, surviving over 30 combat missions in hostile airspace.

He was by far the worst pilot of the entire Kamikaze corps.

a meteor strikes the earth killing everything and the only surviving life form is a hungry alpaca.

ALPACALIPS

What did one twin say to the other after surviving a failed abortion.

They will never de-fetus.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Peter Tork of the Monkees has died, leaving just 2 surviving members.

Still copying the fucking Beatles.

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