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Recounted Jokes

A true story recounted by Heinz R. Pagels in The Dreams of Reason

> Back in the early 1960s a major psychology conference was held on behavior. Researchers presented paper after paper on the learning behavior of rats - how they ran mazes with their brains monitored electronically or rats on drugs and so on. Then someone presented a paper on human behavior. In t...

The pharoah woke up in the middle of the night kicking and screaming. Concerned for his saftey, two guards burst in! After making sure the room was safe, one guard immediately ran off to fetch the soothsayer, always close at hand.

The soothsayer quickly calmed down the pharoah and began to ask him what had him clearly so distraught.

"Oh, it was terrible!" The pharoah recounted, "The mountains shook and ungodly scream sound across the world, as though the gods themselves were yelling in torment!" A moment to steady hi...

A Lawyer Walked Into a Bank to Get a Loan...

...and a bank employee assisted him with the requirements. The employee asked, "How much are you going to borrow, sir?"

"Five thousand dollars," the lawyer said.

"And when do you intend to pay it?" the bank employee asked.

"In 30 days."

"Okay, sir, we have a standard 18% ...

A guy walks into a bar...

And he’s got a tiny head, completely disproportionate to his muscled body. One of the bar patrons goes up to him and asks, “So um... how’d that happen?” The man gulps down his drink and sighs. He’s recounted this story before.

“So I met this fairy by the lake. And she was absolutely beautifu...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

“This is good!”

Once there was a king. His best friend was a commoner, a man who was the son of one of the royal housekeepers. They were of an age, and had grown up playing together in the palace gardens.

As they grew older, the king found himself more and more impressed with his friend’s ability to always ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Rabbi's Blessing

A rabbi was walking down the street when, suddenly, a strong gust of wind blew his shtreimel (fur hat) off his head. The rabbi ran after his hat but the wind was so strong it kept blowing his hat farther and farther away. He just couldn't catch up with it.
A young gentile man, witnessing this eve...

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