$50k in hair extentions was stolen from a downtown hair salon,

Police are still combing the area for clues.

Have you ever found yourself staring at a deadline, with no real work done, and then going to your teacher to beg for an extention?

Well then you know how UK feels

Mr Trump was invited to visit a poor African country.

A soccer match was arranged between two local teams in honour of Trump's visit. During the match, the Prime Minister of the country explained about the poverty his country was facing. Trump listened intently and said

"Mr PM, I've seen enough and I fully understand the extent of the poverty yo...

My father passed this morning. In his honor, I present his favorite joke: why do polish people have ski at the end of their names?

Because they can't spell toboggan. - Stanley G. Kapuscinski

Edit: thanks so much for the kind words and thoughts and prayers. Thanks so much for your equally awful jokes.

To a lesser but still significant extent, thanks for the awards.

The E.U has said that Scotland could end up as a Third World country after Brexit.

I don't know if things will improve to that extent, but you never know......

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Paddy was on his deathbed and knew the end was near...

...His nurse, his wife, his daughter and 2 sons are with him at his home in Belfast .
He asks for 2 independent witnesses to be present and a camcorder be in place to record his last wishes.

When all is ready he begins to speak:
"My son Seamus, I want you to take the houses in Cultra...

The Irishman and the three beers.

An Irishman moves into a tiny hamlet in County Kerry, walks into the pub and promptly orders three beers.



The bartender raises his eyebrows, but serves the man three beers, which he drinks quietly at a table, alone.



An hour later, the man has finished the three beers ...

So during World War 2, a lot of experiments took place on the front lines;

*Doctor Heinfeld*, a leading researcher in Engineering and Biology at the front, wanted to test a new mechanical heart he had engineered, and offered a clockwork heart he had engineered to a then-dieing solider, named *Hugo*, who took it without hesitation.

Later on, Hugo (now fully recovered...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

The Tale of 2 Statues

There are 2 famous statues that reside in a park. These 2 stand facing each other with a path running between them. The artist who created them did so with such love for one another that even angels began to take notice. One day an angel came down from heaven and brought the statues to life.
T...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Spider Webs

There was once a young biologist who was researching the eating patterns of spiders. There wasn't much demand for biologists in his local area so he worked as a taxi driver by day, it was a steady job but there was long hours and pay wasn't very good. He spent his nights collecting spiders and bugs ...

Two drunks are looking to get laid

After a hard night drinking so they make their way to a nearby brothel. The madam, noticing the extent of their intoxication, puts them up in two attic rooms with a couple of blow up dolls. When they meet again afterwards, one says to the other " I think my woman was dead beause she just did not mo...

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