UPJOKE
edgeborderlimitdemarcationdelimitationboundsvergebrinkfrontierboundborderlineperipherymarginrimfringe

Apparently I have “boundary issues”

At least that’s what my neighbor wrote in his journal anyway

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I decided to brighten the neighborhood by planting an array of dildos over my boundary wall...

My neighbor is livid but his wife is still on the fence

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An English and an Irish farmer are arguing at their fence over Politics when along comes a chicken and lays an egg right on the fence boundary.

The English farmer exclaims "It's my egg, because it's my Chicken", and the Irish farmer replies with "Well, the egg is mostly on my side of the fence, so it's mine". They argue back and forth about an hour, until the Irish farmer comes up with a solution.

"To see who the strongest farmer is...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two scientists walk into a bar.

"I'll have H2O," says the first.

"I'll have H2O, too," says the second.

The bartender gives them both water because he is able to distinguish the boundary tones that dictate the grammatical function of homonyms in coda position, as well as pragmatic context.

They asked me if I'd sit on the boundary between two properties.

I'm on the fence about it.

What's the problem with a nuclear engineer with boundary issues?

You give them an inch and they take 3 miles.

An old Vermonter who lives right on the Massachusetts boundary has his land surveyed...

After the survey was complete and the new map was made, it turned out that he had been living in Massachusetts all this time.



"Good" said the old man. "I can't take any more of those Vermont winters!"

I can't believe my roommate thinks I have boundary issues...

at least that's what her diary said.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Properly offensive mum jokes?

My friend and I had a habit of mum jokes duelling and putting standard 'yo mumma' to shame. All to the spirit of pushing the boundary. One point I came up with this:

'Your mum so loose, when you were born, it felt so good that she used you as a dildo and pushed you right back in.'

Anyo...

A hunter on vacation

He had travelled far from the city and into the country side, and payed a man to hunt deer on his grounds. After many hours he saw the biggest deer he had ever seen, just on the boundary to the neighbouring farm.

He decided to shoot and he hit the deer. However it staggered onto the neighbour...

Why Did the mother in law cross the road?

She thought it was a boundary.

I built a fence 6 inches over the property line and my neighbor got right up in my face.

He has real boundary issues.

An astronaut who travelled to the edge of the universe noticed an anomalous reading...

...his shuttle readings came back to inform him there was a flat solid matter extending from his location to the universe's horizon, like a path.

He approached cautiously but a black hole suddenly formed behind the ship. The spacecraft went haywire, lights blinking, alarms blaring and he bare...

Apple and Fifty Shades of Gray are popular for the same reason ...

... they both offer the fantasy of being dominated by a rich guy, who pushes the boundarys of what you though you were into.

There once was a man named Myas...

One day Myas and his two friends planned a trip to sail across the vast ocean. They rented a ship and when the date came, they set sail. Everything was going accordingly until the third night when a storm happened upon them. Waves buffeted the hull. Gusts of wind enveloped the sails. As the ship roc...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.