I went to test my new gun at the range, but couldn’t make it work.

Now I have to read the trouble shooting section of the manual.

Mountain ranges aren't just funny

They're hill areas

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Two Texans were out on the range talking about their favorite sex positions.

Two Texans were out on the range talking about their favorite sex positions.


One said, "Think I enjoy the rodeo position the best."


"I don't think I have ever heard of that one," said the other cowboy. "What is it?"


"Well, it's where you get your wife down on a...

Ikea have withdrawn a range of wooden tables made from australian wood that aborigines also use to make boomerangs.

They keep bringing them back.

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I asked my grandad for his shooting range

He said: no, you wouldn't make a good principal

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Golf Joke...What do you call the part of the body in between the vagina and rectum?

The driving range, because that’s where you hit your balls

The Lone Ranger and Tonto were riding on the range one day.

The two came to a stop, where Tonto jumped off his horse and put his head on the ground to listen to see if anyone was coming.
After a few seconds he rose and said, "Buffalo come."
The Lone Ranger was amazed and proclaimed "Damn you’re smart, how the hell do you know?"
Tonto replied, "Face...

What do you get when you cross a mountain range with 40 elephants?

A strategic military advantage against the Romans in the Second Punic War.

A man had an adult daughter who he loved dearly but rarely met. He decided to send her a letter, and in it was hundreds of pieces of advice to help her succeed in life.

The advice ranged from career to cooking to basic mechanics; it was like a manual for life, and it took him a good while to rewrite, condense, and perfect.

When he went to the post office to send the letter, he met the mail deliverer Kurt. Kurt said he would deliver the letter.

The man...

My wife told me she wanted to widen her range of action.

So I expanded the kitchen.

A man realized he needed to purchase a hearing aid, but didn't want to spend a lot of money.

“How much do they cost?" he asked the salesman.

"They range from $2 to $2,000."

"Can I see the $2 model?" said the customer.

The salesman put a large device around the
man's neck, and said: "You just stick this red tube in your ear and run this cable down into your pocket." ...

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I was in the shower tonight and my wife told me that I’m like a Tesla

Sexy as hell but overpriced and have a limited range

What's the difference between an american school and a firing range?

The school has moving targets.

I missed my wife

Guess it's back to the range for more practice...

[Long] I was at the fair and I saw this drunk guy at the shooting range.

He was completely wasted but somehow managed to shoot all the targets. The guy at the stand gave him the first prize :a turtle. I watched the guy leave happily with his prize while bumping into sober people.

Later on, the guy came back swaying to the shooting range, even more drunk. The guy a...

It would suck to be named Will at a shooting range.

"Fire at will"

I went to a gun range. I saw a man shooting a gun every 15 minutes.

I go over to the man shooting and see he has shot the same precise hole every time.

I see it's Todd Howard, I ask him how he does it.
He says, "It's easy, just do the same thing every time."

Humans exist in a tight range of 7.35-7.45 pH which means...

Y'all basic!

Who's the bravest in the military

At a NATO conference in Washington DC one year, British, French, and US Generals were discussing who had the bravest soldiers.
The French General told one of his soldiers to run out into the path of on coming traffic.....the soldier did, and was killed. The General said, "Now that is bravery" ...

Seems a guy in Texas makes a rolling stop at a stop sign, and gets pulled over by a local policeman.

Guy hands the cop his driver's license, insurance verification, plus his concealed carry permit.

"Okay, Mr. Smith," the cop says, "I see your CCW permit. Are you carrying today?"

"Yes, I am."

"Well then, better tell me what you got."

Smith says, "Well, I got a .357 revolv...

[OC] How do americans get to the shooting range?

With the school bus

What happens when you put a bar at a golf range? (OC)

A lot of drunk driving.

Americans have a strange dialect.

It's all "sneakers" instead of "trainers"...

... and "sweater" instead of "jumper"...

... and "shooting range" instead of "high school"...

Did you know that seals can't hear bass?

It's true - the seal hearing range bottoms out at 1000 Hertz.

No wonder they don't like clubbing.

The Bible is 100% accurate

Especially when you’re throwing it from close range

My friend says to me: "What rhymes with orange"...

My friend says to me: "What rhymes with orange" I said: "No it doesn't"

Never criticize a gun owner until you've walked a mile in his shoes

That way he'll be barefoot and you'll be out of range

Officer at the shooting range: Get ready, aim, fire at will.

Soldier: Which one is Will?

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A range of alcoholic drinks is being produced named after famous authors

.... Dickens Cider is proving very popular

What's the difference between a hedgehog and a range rover

The hedgehog has pricks on the outside.

I asked my friend in Texas if he wanted to go to the shooting range with me.

He says, "Nah fam, High School was a long time ago"

I took my kids to the shooting range today.

But they said I had to use the paper targets.

I was at the firing range when a family walked right into the lanes while people were firing to hang their targets.

That’s one family no one will miss.

A major detergent manufacturer is to release a new range of fruit scents, including apple, tomato, orange, banana and mango

They're going to call it "Tide Pods - Natural Selection"

What's the difference between a shooting range and an American college?

About thirty thousand dollars a year.

What's the difference between a shooting range and a school in the US?

You'll find a Safety Officer in the former.

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I got told off for masturbating at the gun range.

We had very different interpretations of shooting from the hip.

Eldarion, son of Aragorn, High King of the Reunited Kingdom, was bored.

In a time of peace, there was not much to do, and he was long tired of his jesters. So he called for all of his subordinates, and announced a new prestigious title to which all are given candidacy; the title of “Duke of the Best Joke”.

 

Not wanting to disappoint, Finance Mini...

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A sniper and his spotter are practicing on the range...

The sniper shoulders the spotter and says "Buddy I hate to be the one to tell you but I just scoped back over towards the barracks and your wife is cheating on you with the XO." The spotter gets a grim look in his eyes and mutters "Shoot the bitch in the head and the bastard in the balls." The snipe...

I heard that Chicago had a world renowned shooting range. So I went to go check it out. When I got there I couldn’t seem to find it, so I asked for directions...

The guy I asked gave me a funny look and said, “The city of Chicago is the shooting range.”

If you want to open a store, I recommend selling stoves

You'll immediately offer a range of hot products

My 10 y.o. son cracked this joke on the driving range today.

I sliced the hell out of the ball. My son watched it land, turned to me and said, "that ball was like Star Trek Voyager ... way off course."

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The Russian President:

At a KHL game: Vladimir Rutin

At a gun range: Vladimir Shutin

Imitating an owl: Vladimir Hutin

With a wheat harvest: Vladimir Gultin

Looking Amphibious: Vladimir Newtin

Rioting and stealing shit: Vladimir Lutin

Bungling a ground ball: Vladimir Butin
...

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It was spring in the old west. The cowboys rode the still snow-choked trails looking for cattle that survived the winter. As one cowboy's horse went around the narrow trail, it came upon a rattlesnake warming itself in the spring sunshine.

The horse reared and the cowboy drew his six-gun to shoot the snake. "Hold on there, partner," said the snake, "don't shoot - I'm an enchanted rattlesnake, and if you don't shoot me, I'll give you any three wishes you want."

The cowboy decided to take a chance. He knew he was safely out of th...

A man walked into an archery range

He noticed a guy standing alone at the end of the row. This person would draw an arrow from his quiver, stab it into his leg, then ready and loose at the target.

Confused as hell, he asked, "Why are you jabbing yourself in the leg with your arrows before you use them?!"

The man smiled...

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During World War 2, three generals were arguing over who had the best soldiers.

The British general called one of his men over.


“Private! See that nazi tank in the minefield there? Go destroy it.”


“Yes, Sir!” The soldier replied and started running.


He ran across the unmarked minefield until within range of the tank with his anti-tank weapon, to...

The Cincinnati zoo is putting in a new shooting range for it's employees.

Ooh, sorry I misread that. They are just getting a new gorilla.

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