Range Jokes - 44 Hilarious Range Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I took an Olympic sprinter to a shooting range.

Poor bastard had no idea which direction to run in.

I went to the shooting range for the first time and couldn’t get my gun to fire.

Now I have to read the trouble shooting section in the manual.

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Two cowboys are out riding the range and talking about their favorite sex positions

The first cowboy says the “rodeo” position is his favorite.

The second cowboy says he’s never heard of it before and asks how to do it.

The first cowboy responds, “Well, you mount your lady from behind then reach down and grab her tits. Then you whisper ‘these feel almost as good as ...

Sylvester Stallone has launched a new range of cakes. I would highly recommend them.

They are the best thing since Sly's bread.

Two IT techs are at the local gun range.

After about 10 minutes of practice, one of the techs isn't able to hit the target. The other looks at him and says "What is your problem?"

The embarrassed IT tech puts his head down and says, "Troubleshooting."

Why do mountain ranges make such good comedians?

Because they're HILL-AREAS!

What vocal range do Lockpickers sing in?

Falsetto

(followed by counter rotation, click out of three)

Alliance Motors are saying that the latest Range Rover is a Marvel.

DC must be jealous.

What was Lawrence Welk's favorite mountain range?

The Polkanos.

What's the difference between a shooting range and an American college?

About thirty thousand dollars a year.

A free range child is a sign of a good mother.

Unless she's a cannibal, which makes it a sign of a good farmer.

We should get a gang of us and go to the shooting range.

And have a gang bang.

I attack you with an ancient Korean ranged weapon...

Hwacha gonna do about that?

My local church went bankrupt and someone turned it into a gun range.

The community didn't like it, but it already had pew pew pews.

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Three cowboys are out on the range (long).

It's been a long day and all are hungry. The first cowboy rummages in his saddlebags and pulls out a strip of meat to munch on.

"Got any more of that?" asks the second

"Nope. But I can show you where to get some: the bacon-tree."

"The whut?"

"The bacon-tree. It's two hour...

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A sniper and his spotter are practicing on the range...

The sniper shoulders the spotter and says "Buddy I hate to be the one to tell you but I just scoped back over towards the barracks and your wife is cheating on you with the XO." The spotter gets a grim look in his eyes and mutters "Shoot the bitch in the head and the bastard in the balls." The snipe...

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I lost my penis in an accident and they took me to the hospital.

The doctor said "don't worry we have a range of penises we can surgically attach. We have small, medium and big. They all cost £10,000. I'll leave you to discuss it with your wife" 20 minutes later the doctor comes back in and asks for a decision.
"I've discussed it with my wife and we've decide...

Going to the gun range is a pretty fun activity for its price

You get the most bang for your buck

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A Jewish man on the subway is reading an Arab newspaper

A friend of his, who happened to be riding in the same subway car, noticed this strange phenomenon. Very upset, he approached him. "Moshe, have you lost your mind? Why are you reading an Arab newspaper?" Moshe replied, "I used to read the Jewish newspaper, but what did I find? Jews being persecuted,...

The Holy Bible is proven to be 100% accurate.

When thrown at a close-range, especially.

A man walked into an archery range

He noticed a guy standing alone at the end of the row. This person would draw an arrow from his quiver, stab it into his leg, then ready and loose at the target.

Confused as hell, he asked, "Why are you jabbing yourself in the leg with your arrows before you use them?!"

The man smiled...

I had to leave my job at the ceramics factory when they introduced the new equestrian range.

It was turning into a horse tile work environment.

I once knew this guy who hated all high-range intruments.

He was a huge bassist.

My buddy said, "What rhymes with orange?"

I pondered for a while and thought..."No, it doesn't."

I told my son it's ok to swear at the gun range

Because yelling "SHOOT" is just to dangerous

I took my kids to the shooting range today.

But they said I had to use the paper targets.

I no longer call it "heading to the shooting range".

Now it's "going out to yeet."

What's the difference between a hedgehog and a range rover

The hedgehog has pricks on the outside.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I asked my grandad for his shooting range

He said: no, you wouldn't make a good principal

My 10 y.o. son cracked this joke on the driving range today.

I sliced the hell out of the ball. My son watched it land, turned to me and said, "that ball was like Star Trek Voyager ... way off course."

When the target range was asked when they would be fully open again

They said they were shooting for the fall

So a three masted sailing ship is leaving port...

... just a day out of port the captain is standing on the deck when the lookout calls down "Sir! There's an enemy ship on the horizon!"

The captain turns to his cabin boy and shouts "Bring me my red shirt!"

After the cabin boy brings him the red shirt and he puts it on, the two ships...

Officer at the shooting range: Get ready, aim, fire at will.

Soldier: Which one is Will?

[OC] How do americans get to the shooting range?

With the school bus

What do you call an interrupted wedding at a shooting range?

Near Mrs.

Never been to the blindfold shooting range?

You don't know what you're missing.

What do you call a pizzeria on a golf range?

Pizza Putt.

One from 3rd Grade: What's the name of the funniest mountain range?

The Himhilarious

Apparently Iron Man also did a tuxedo range...

But it wasn't his strong suit

My wife told me she wanted to widen her range of action.

So I expanded the kitchen.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two guys in a helicopter are crossing a mountain range when the rotor breaks and the chopper is going to crash.

As they are falling to their certain death, the pilot calmly reaches to his pocket and pulls out a bright red lipstick. He puts lipstick on, then tears the steering wheel out of the dashboard and shoves it up his ass. Passenger looks at the pilot in horror and shouts "what the hell are you doing, we...

When I was younger, I jammed a scrabble tile into my nerf gun and shot my brother at close range in the forehead, killing him instantly.

I didn't mean to kill him though, I thought it was a blank.

Two flat tyres...

I forgot to zip up my trouser.

So a lady told me politely, "Sir, your garage is open".

I gave her a naughty smile as I zipped up and asked, "Did you see my Range Rover parked inside?".

She smiled back and said, "No, just one small Toyota with two flat tyres".

Cops are ok with a hit/miss ratio of 3/5 on the shooting range.

Coincidence?

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