I just got my degree in skydiving

I had to drop out to graduate

Why is a degree like a condom?

It's rolled up when you get it, it represents a lot of effort, and its worthless the next day.

I saw my sister sobbing in her room, worried that her Philosophy degree might be worthless in today’s job market.

I said, “Are you having an existential cry, sis?”

What do you say to someone with a degree in art?

Hamburger and fries, please.

Who won the argument between the 20 degree angle and the 90 degree angle

The 90 degree angle because 90 degrees is always right

I know someone who faked his degree in botany.

He wrote his thesis on artificial Christmas trees.

What's the difference from when you've just started school, to when you've completed a philosophy degree?

When you just start school you know nothing about anything. But when you complete a philosophy degree you know everything about nothing.

What do you call a flatworm with a liberal arts degree?

An interdisci-planarian

A professor, a CEO, and a janitor are in a forest when they discover a magic fairy.

The fairy says "I will give you what you most desire if you do someone else's job for a day."

The professor says "I'll be an elementary school teacher. What can be so hard about teaching a bunch of 6-year-olds how to read?" so he is teleported into a classroom. After a few minutes, all the ki...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A farm boy graduated from college with a degree in journalism.

He got hired immediately and was told his first assignment was to write a human interest story. Being from the country, he decided to go back home to do his research.

He went to an old farmer's house way out in the hills, introduced himself to the farmer, and explained what he was there to ...

I have a degree in the design and mechanics of television controllers

I don't know what I'm going to do with this remote knowledge.

When I got my science degree I got a puppy

because every scientist needs a lab.

My friend shouted, “You have a BA, a Masters and a Ph.D., but you still act like an idiot!”

It was a third degree burn…

Why go to university and get a degree?

When I can go to a corner and get 90 degrees!

Where do you get a degree in professional card games?

The Unoversity.

What do you call a test tube with a college degree?

a graduated cylinder

I'm not impressed by Brian May's astrophysics degree.

I heard he called Mercury a star.

Why was the monk charged with first degree murder?

Because he meditated beforehand

[OC] [8] heheh

A person with an art degree walks into a bar.

They then head behind the counter and start serving drinks.

Why did a slave go to college?

To pickup his master's degree!

I have a degree in men's studies.

It's called "world history".

#TRUMP 2016! YOU CAN'T STUMP THE TRUMP!

Degree

I was waiting for a green light when I saw an elderly woman walking with a small child.

The excited young girl was walking slightly faster than the old lady, so the woman yelled, “Degree! Wait for me!”

Intrigued by such a unique name, I got out of the car and asked why she called the ...

I don't know why people say that no employer will be interested in your liberal arts degree.

I would love to hire someone who has clearly shown that they don't care at all about how much money they make.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A Man Suffered from a 3rd degree burn in his face...

So his Wife donated a piece of her butt skin for surgery. After that He got his cheeks again and Asked his Wife how he can repay her ever again. She said dear when I see your mother and sisters kissing my Ass It well be more that enough of a reward.

What do you call a degree in vegetableology?

A fruitless pursuit.

Yale is rescinding Bill Cosby’s honorary degree.

He still has his Doctorate of Applied Pharmaceuticals to fall back on.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

"No Jews Allowed"

A US Navy cruiser anchored in Mississippi for a week's shore leave.

The first evening, the ship's Captain received the following note from the wife of a very wealthy and influential plantation owner:

'Dear Captain, Thursday will be my daughter's Debutante Ball. I would like you to send...

A person with a science degree asks "why does it work?" A person with an engineering degree asks: "how does it work?" A person with an accounting degree asks: "how much does it cost?" A person with an art degree asks:

"do you want fries with that?"

Why do hockey rinks have rounded corners instead of 90 degree angles?

If they were 90 degrees the ice would melt.

I didn't want to believe that my dentist's medical degree was fake

But the tooth hurts.

How do you make a small fortune after earning a degree in political science?

Start with a large fortune and know when to stop.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Honest degree slogans

Diploma: Have fun with those loans, guys...

Associates: Man, fuck this.

Bachelor's: Middle class af

Masters: d i f f e r e n t i a t i o n

Doctors: You did it for the title, doc

Postdoc: The prospect of not going to school scares you.

Where do evil scientists get their degree?

The Poison Ivy League.

What's the best college degree to become a successful fiction writer?

Journalism!

I asked my chemist friend if it took him 4 years to get his degree...

He said "Sodium Bromate."

Why was the 89 degree angle not trusted

He's never right

Where did Dr. Pepper earn his degree?

The University of Pensacola

A Canadian was on trial for second-degree murder.

He was acquitted, but he apologized anyway.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Hey, do you have an art degree?

Because you are coming up with creative ways to be an asshole.

A man is charged with first-degree murder and is on the stand, being questioned by the prosecution.

“Did you commit the crime?”

“No sir, I did not.”

“I remind you that you are under oath. Do you know the penalty for perjury?”

“Yes sir, and it’s a darn sight less than the penalty for murder.”

What do you call a black person with a medical degree?

A doctor, you racist

Once I got my art degree I didn't need to deliver to people anymore.

Now they come to me, explaining what they want me to create. Then I ask them to pull up to the next window.

What's the difference between someone with an arts degree and a philosophy degree ?

The philosophy degree will ask why you want fries with that.

"And this baby is our granddaughter. Her name is Degree."

"I'm sorry, did you say Deborah?"

"No, no. Degree. Our daughter left for University and came back with this. It's her Degree."

BREAKING NEWS: Man convicted of first degree murder. He pleaded guilty of killing another man by repeatedly slamming his victim's head in a door made of cement.

"The case was open-and-shut." Said the prosecutor.

"We had plenty of concrete evidence."

College Degree

Forget everything you've learned in college, you wont need it here.

I didn't go to college.

Oh sorry you're not qualified for the job

I went to one of those colleges where you can make up your own degree...

I ended up with a major in paedophilia and a minor in the back of my van.

I got a degree in psychology and a degree in reverse psychology.

I didn't learn a thing.

The best part about getting a political science degree is you will always be able to find a job!

At McDonalds

My friend claims he has a degree in blacksmithing...

... But everything he makes is forged.

You know why the 89 degree angle went to school?

He was missing his master's degree.

How did Will Smith get caught for committing 1st degree murder?

He left fresh prints all over the scene.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What does a bowl of spaghetti and a degree from Phoenix online both have in common?

If it ends up on your wall you're probably retarded.

Degree

A grandma is shopping with her grandson.The grandson picks up a toy and the grandma shouts: "Degree, put the toy back"!
A woman who was shopping heard this and asked, is that his name?

The grandma replied "Yes I sent his mother to university and this is what she brought back

I have something to say to anyone who has more than one Bachelor Degree

That's a bunch of B.S.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What degree did the butt get?

A Master of Fine Farts

My fisherman friend got his Master's degree.

Now he's a Master Baiter.

Bill Cosby awarded another honorary degree from Boston University,

this time is was Anesthesiology.

"Actually, I'll have you know I have a degree in liberal arts"

"That's great ma'am, but I ordered fries with my meal"

Girl, are you an ITT Tech degree?

Because you're worthless.

My grandpa was 1/5th of the way through his 58th mathematics degree when he died...

He was pretty rad.

I met a prostitute with a degree in philosophy.

She'll blow your mind, man.