My girlfriend broke up with me because I kept referencing the song One Night in Bangkok for reasons why I didn't want to take a vacation there.

It's just me now and my Thai trope act without Annette.

What do you call a list with columns and rows of reasons why you hate people?

A contempt-table

Reasons to Avoid Water

* Can be extracte from rocket fuel
* Is the main ingredient in pestisides
* 100% of violent criminals have consumed water in the hours leading up to their crimes
* Is the #1 cause of drowning
* Excess consumption will cause sweating, urination and possibly death
* 100% of people expos...

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My girlfriend left me today and she gave me two reasons why...

That my penis is too big, and I lie too much.

I really hate articles that say 5 reasons why something is best and 5 reasons why it's the worst.

The whole argument is completely valid for the reason something is best. Which makes it a good article.

It actually makes the article just so contradictory it sucks.

But they are so easy to read and generally they are well written.

There are so many that each time Google recomme...

There are 2 reasons you shouldn't rely on procrastinators.

1). They never finish anything

I don't drink alcohol for religious reasons.

I drink it for other reasons.

Had to get castrated today for birth control reasons. I paid so much and they didn't even use scissors.

It was a rip-off.

There are two reasons not to drink toilet water.

Number one. And number two.

The Top 10 Reasons a Gun is better than a woman....

#10. You can trade an old .44 for a new 22

#9. You can keep one Gun at home and have another for when you're on the road.

#8. If you admire a friend's Gun and tell him so, he will probably let you try it out a few times.

#7. Your primary Gun doesn't mind if you keep another Gun ...

4 reasons why we should date

A man asks the prettiest girl he has ever seen out.

She responds: "Name 4 reasons why I should date you."

He says: "Sure, I'll give you 4 big reasons:

* A - I'm very attractive. I'm the tallest guy in this town.
* B - I'm smarter than 99% of men. My IQ is above 130.
* C...

My wife and I split up because of psychological reasons...

She was Psycho and I was Logical.

2 reasons I’ll never give money to a homeless man

1: They need money for drugs
2: I need money for drugs

A maid decided it was time to demand a raise, so she went directly to the Lady of the house's private study

Maid: "I'd like a raise."

Mrs. Smith:"Why do you think you deserve a raise?

Maid:"Three reasons. First, I can cook better than you."

Mrs. Smith:"Who told you that?"

Maid:"Your husband. Second, I clean better than you."

Mrs. Smith:"Who told you that?"

Maid:"Y...

A man is on his deathbed, and he asks his wife...

“Martha, soon I will be gone forever, and there's something I have to know. In all of these 50 years of marriage, have you ever been unfaithful to me?"

Martha replied, "Well Henry, I have to be honest with you. Yes, I've been unfaithful to you three times during these 50 years, but always for...

Reasons for speeding

Harry and Lloyd were speeding down the road. a police car pulled them over.

"Why on earth were you driving so fast?" the policeman yelled.

"Our brakes are no good, so we wanted to get there before we had an accident!

My friend asked me for one good reason why he should get a Netflix subscription.

I told him 13 reasons why.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Reasons girls should swallow

How the fuck else are they supposed to eat, you idiot?

Reasons for stealing

Pointing to the captured thief, the owner of the supermarket said to the policeman who came to investigate: "He stole the chocolate on the supermarket shelf and didn't pay the money, so I caught him."



The policeman asked the thief: "Why steal supermarket goods?"



The thi...

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Early one morning, a mother went in to wake up her son. "Wake up, son. It's time to go to school!"

"But why, Mom? I don't want to go." 
"Give me two reasons why you don't want to go." 
"Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me, too!" 
"Oh, that's no reason not to go to school. Come on now and get ready." 
"Give me two reasons why I should go to school." 
"...

Two reasons why I don't let my girlfriend go into my swimming pool

1. I don't have a swimming pool.
2. I don't have a girlfriend.

I hate when my roommates throw cigarettes in the toilet for two reasons.

A: it's disgusting and B: they are harder to light.

3 reasons why my parents are bad at hide and seek.

1. They always hide in their bedroom.
2. They make too much noise.
3. my dad takes a pill that makes him think he is invisible and proceeds to take off his clothes

I love the Dave joke so much I decided to write a sequel

At first Dave’s boss in in complete disbelief at Dave’s popularity. But he slowly comes to his senses. He reasons that Dave couldn’t possibly know *every* person. Nevertheless, if he wants to catch Dave, naming people out of the blue isn’t working. He has to come up with a new strategy. He sits down...

Ghandi walked around barefoot most of the time, so he had rough feet. And he fasted a lot for spiritual and political reasons, so he’s not very physically strong. And because of the fasting, you could say that he did not have great breath, it didn’t smell great.

So to sum it all up, you could say that Ghandi was a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

I've decided that I will not vote in the next election for the following reasons, please hear me out.





I'm 14

Not having a pencil sharpener is useless for two reasons

1 - Pencils would be pointless

2 - Pencils would be pointless

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