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Expressions Jokes

Wife is tired of me using trite, meaningless expressions and overusing contractions. Oh well...

It's what it's.

Never trust people who channel their negative life experiences into creative expressions

... they're all a bunch of con artists

In 1991, a country banned expressions of surrender, acceptance, or agreement.

That marked the fall of the "So be it" Union.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man was crossing the jungle when he got ambushed by a group of natives.

They had fearsome tattoos and bloodthirsty expressions in their faces and in front of them their terrible chieftain, a man the size of a mountain.

"Well, now I'm fucked," says the man quietly, when suddenly gusts of wind start blowing in the leaves and a mysterious voice whispers in his ear:<...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My older brother told me “gay meant happy”

I still don’t understand the weird expressions people gave me when I told them, “my brother makes me gay.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

3 men in a shipwreck drift upon an island

Upon searching the island, they find it's inhabited by cannibals. The king of the cannibals says, "go out and bring us 10 pieces of fruit or we will eat you". So each of the men goes looking for 10 pieces of fruit. The first one comes back with 10 apples. The king of the cannibals says "now shove th...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

NSFW: There's a crew of builders working on a high rise building in Australia. They are working on the top; which is over 70 stories high.

Bruce the builder, climbs on a beam hanging from the crane and says to his friend Joe "Hey Joe, stand on the other end of the beam, as a counter weight, I need to take a whizz over the side. Joe stands with his back to him and says "Sure thing, mate." Bruce undoes his fly and starts peeing. The lunc...

One time my math professor asked everyone in class to write a complex number on their forehead

You could probably imagine the expressions on our faces.

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