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Proverb Jokes

Ancient Chinese proverb:

Waitress who sit on lepers lap, always keep tip.

Ancient Chinese proverb says

Man who farts in church, sits in his own pew.

Does the dog know the proverb?

The little boy did not like the look of the barking dog.

"It's all right," said a gentleman, "don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: Barking dogs don't bite?"

"Ah, yes," answered the little boy. "I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?"

"We are doing very well," goes the Russian proverb,

Not as well as last year,

But certainly we are better off than we will be next year.

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Ancient Chinese Proverbs

Man who walk around with hands in pockets, feel cocky all day.

Crib take many nails to build, only one screw to fill.

Panties not best thing on Earth, but next to it.

Got any others you can add?

A famous German proverb:

Belgium is like school. It's something you have to go through.

There is an old Scottish proverb that says....

If you're smart enough to fall asleep in a field of cows, you're guaranteed to get a pat on the back.

Wise Chinese Proverb

Man who stand on toilet

Is high on pot

A proverb

A proverb : Two birds with one stone.
An amateurverb : Two stones one bird.

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What’s the most popular proverb in Alabama?

Cum is thicker than blood

Today I met someone who never finishes his proverbs.

It’s very irritating to talk to him, but you know what they say,

What's a cannibal's favorite proverb?

You are what you eat.

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A classroom of kids were learning all about common English proverbs. (LONG)

The teacher asked if anyone had a proverb they could talk about - the kids all put their hands up, including Little Johhny at the back. But the teacher chose Susie: "What's your story, Susie?"

"Well, Miss, my dad jumped into a creek and broke his leg on a big branch just under the water!"...

As the old vegan proverb goes

“You can’t make an omelette”

What do you call very short proverbs?

Asaps Fables.

An old proverb

Benny gets engaged to a woman and her father tells him he wants to talk to him.

"What do you want?" Benny asks.

"Well, I wanted you to know that you can't shave until you get married or you'll be turned into a vase."

Benny thinks it's a little weird, but he wants to honor what ...

An old proverb once read, "he who hesitates

...is uh..."

An old Ethiopian proverb

You can't have your cake or eat it.

Chinese Proverb Say...

Man who push in front of car get tired.
Man who push behind car get exhausted.

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3 proverbs

A boy heads off to college. When he got there he opened his email to see his dad had messaged him, telling him to have a great time but always be careful. He finished the message with 3 proverbs that always helped him get through life.

One day it was his roommates turn to clean the room. He n...

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Ancient Chinese proverb

Ancient Chinese proverb say man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day

I used to hate it when people slightly messed up proverbs...

But I guess it's no use crying over spoiled milk.

Your body is your temple is a really terrible proverb to promote chastity.

Literally anyone can come inside a temple.

How does a carpenter order 5 beers?

With 2 hands.

(I hope this common Swiss Joke/Proverb didn't got posted a lot here)

Wanna know why jogging is evil?

"The wicked flee though no one pursues, but the righteous stand as bold as a lion."

Proverbs 28:1

Russian proverb: the church is near, but the road is icy...

The pub is far away, but I'll walk carefully.

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A man is lost in the woods

So there was a man who was lost in woods for a few days. Eventually he came upon a farm and knocked the door. The farmer opened the door and the guy explained that he was lost and needed help. He said he could spend the night and as long he didn't touch his daughter and if he did he would suffer the...

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[NSFW] A Chinese student asks his Sensei

If a man shaves his ass does that make him gay? The Sensei replied, "An old Chinese proverb says 'If a man cleans his house, he is clearly expecting a visitor.'"

Kids

A first grade teacher had twenty-five students in her class and she presented each child in her class the first half of a well known proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb. It's hard to believe these were actually done by first graders. Their insight may surprise you....

"The fastest way to end a war is to lose it"

-A german proverb

You know why the Bible is better than the dictionary?

The dictionary has verbs, but the Bible has PROverbs!

How to beat a Tibetan monk

A Tibetan monk and his young subordinate arrive in a small town in medieval England to challenge it's men to fight.

The town sheriff tells his best fighter to step up to the challenge, but the smug monk beats him down with a single, well placed blow.

The sheriff sends in two more men,...

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A collection of lawyer jokes.

My grandfather was a lawyer & judge and had a fantastic sense of humor. He has many humorous law books, and the following are some his favorite selections from Larry Wilde's book *The Ultimate Lawyers Joke Book*. Hope you enjoy..

___________________________________________________________...

You can get used to everything.

Except an icicle up your ass, because it melts before you get used to it.

- A Finnish Proverb

A store for wisdom

Dr. Who was traveling through time and space, when he came upon a cache of the universe's best wise sayings. He loaded them into the Tardis and decided to set up a shop on a nice little corner just outside of reality to sell the sayings to the great thinkers and writers of all time. He advertised hi...

Chinese herbologist

A man with an embarrassing condition walks into a bar one day, sad and depressed. He orders a shot, then another, and then another. Finally, the bartenders asks him "hey, what's wrong buddy?". The man replies "I've got this really embarrassing condition, and no doctor has ever been able to figure...

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An eighteen year old finally decides to throw out his toys.

Andrew was never fond of most of the toys in his collection. He was a professional gamer and had no time for real world items. One day, he decided that he needed to clear out his room and found all his old toys. Without a moment's notice, he placed the whole bag in the garbage bin outside his house....

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