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What do you get when you cross an idiom with a Freudian slip?

Six of one, and a half dozen of your mother.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"I'm groping the balls of the storm."

The manager hesitated for a moment on the phone. "I'm sorry, can you repeat that?" he asked the newly hired immigrant worker.

"I...rub the storm...balls?" the man said, coughing.

Before he could ask again, the manager heard a little commotion on the line, followed by a younger voice. <...

I’m an expert in idioms

I know them like the front of my hand

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An English teacher is explaining idioms to her class and how figurative language won’t make any sense in another language. She states, “for example, if you go to Japan and tell someone they hit the ball out of the park, that person will have no idea what you’re talking about.”

One student imm...

One mans trash...

"One man's rubbish is another man's treasure" is a fantastic Idiom.

But it's a horrible way to tell your kid that he's adopted.

It's a real-shame I failed my entry-level idiom class

I came close, but no sugar.

Whenever I use idioms in the wrong context...

...people look at me as if I'm as thick as thieves!

When someone asks you to give an example of an idiom

Just tell them you can't recall any from the top of your head.

I never get my idioms mixed up

and you can take that to the bank and smoke it

I live in a two-story apartment I own. My brother calls it my love glove.

Because that's a condom idiom.

What do you call it when you hate when people use idioms, but you yourself still use them?

Irony in a nutshell.

A horse walks into a bar.

The bartender confuses jokes with idioms, and offers the horse water but can't make it drink.

There's a guy in town who walks around talking to himself using only figurative language.

We call him the Village Idiom.

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