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Leer Jokes

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John O’Reilly hoisted his beer and said, “Here’s to spending the rest of me life between the legs of me wife!”

That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!

He went home and told his wife, Mary, “I won the prize for the Best toast of the night”

She said, “Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?”

John said, “Here’s to spending the rest of me life, sitting in chu...

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A pig and a donkey are standing out in a farm's field.

The pig tells the donkey: "Man, you sure have a crappy life. They take you out in the morning, have you drag carts, turn millstones, pull the plough, and after dark they feed you a nothing but hay. Meanwhile I'm just eating, sleeping and rolling around in the mud all day long, I sure am lucky not to...

A Chinese coin joke

Boy meets girl in a club. After the usual preliminaries and some vertical dancing, they go back to her place for the horizontal kind. As they are madly undressing each other, she sees he's wearing a Chinese coin on a leather cord around his neck. "What's this about, tiger?", she asks. He gives h...

Donald Trump and Mike Pence were having breakfast at the White House

The waitress asks Pence what he would like, and he replies, "I'd like a bowl of oatmeal and some fruit."
"And what can I get for you, Mr. President?" Trump replies with his trademark lecherous leer, "How about a quickie this morning?"
"Mr. President!" the waitress exclaims. "How rude! You'...

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Little Johnny runs into the farmhouse yelling "Paw! Paw! You'll never guess what!"

Paw says "What?" and Little Johnny says "Old man Henderson's farmhouse just got sucked clear away by a whirlwind!"

"I know," says Paw calmly. "It's in the paper."

Disgruntled, Little Johnny trudges off, but a couple of days later he's running into the farmhouse again yelling "Paw! Paw!...

Little Jenny loved climbing trees

When her mother came to pick her up from school, Jenny was at it again climbing the tallest tree she could find, oblivious to the group of disgusting boys looking up her skirt! The mom quickly waved her to get into the car, then in a stern voice warned her about the boys who just wanted to look at h...

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New Miranda rights

A very attractive and well built young female cop pulled over a man on a suspected DUI.
After some initial questions she decided to arrest him and made him get out of the car.
"Sir you have the right to remain silent and anything you say will be held against you...."
She never got to finish...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Patrick O'Reilly...

Patrick O’Reilly is at the pub one night when he climbs to feet: “I got one fer ya!” he says, “I got one!” The crowd quiets. “Here’s to spendin’ the rest o’ me life, lyin’ between the legs ‘o me wife!” It’s an easy audience, everyone’s half cut, and wouldn’t you know? He wins the prize for best toas...

The tale of Thanksgiving.

It's that time of year, so raise a cheer, here's to drinking beer and shooting deer. Here's to friends who are sincere and friends who will endear. When others appear we give them a leer, but not so severe that they leave out of fear. We send pioneers to explore the frontier, and they return bearing...

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