UPJOKE
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My friend just gave me a presentation on why I should invest in his sword making business.

He made some excellent points.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Priest was being honored at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish. A leading local politician and member of the church was chosen to make the presentation and to give a little talk at the dinner. However, he was delayed, so the Priest decided to say his own few words while they waited

“I got my first impression of the parish from the first confession I heard here. I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first person who entered my confessional told me he had stolen a television set and, when questioned by the police, was able to lie his way out of it. He had s...

A school teacher invited a Native American to give a presentation to his students about their culture

After discussing history, traditions and lifestyle, the conversation turned to language.

"One of the interesting things about our language," he said, "is that there are no cuss words."

"But then what do you say if you are hammering a nail and accidentally hit your finger?" asked a s...
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Why did the PowerPoint presentation cross the road?

To get to the other slide.

As Steven Weinberg was finishing the presentation of his contributions to the Standard Model, a colleague asks:

"This work is incredible. Do you understand the gravity of what you've done?"

Weinberg: "No, weren't you listening? That's the only force we don't understand."

(I'm sorry for this terrible and obscure joke, feel free to downvote.)

They say a bad PowerPoint presentation reduces your lifespan by 30 minutes ...

Going by that metric, I've been dead since 1909.

My boss was giving a presentation and no one was asking questions

So my boss says:
“The person who asks the first question will get a raise, the second will get a promotion, and the third will get a million dollar”

So I raised my hand and said “I have three questions”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A jew visits a brothel

He talks to the guy at reception:

- Hello, I want to see Samantha.

- One moment sir.

A beautiful young woman comes downstairs.

-Have you asked for me?

- Yes, I want to spend the night with you.

- Alright but my service is a bit expensive. $1000 for a night....

My wife asked if she has any annoying habits...

... and then she got all offended during the PowerPoint presentation

During my work presentation, I was asked why I struggle with shapes.

I said I would triangle back to that question later on.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A business man is driving through a small town, on his way to an important presentation, when he realizes he's in need of a haircut and doesn't have much extra time...

He remembers there's a little barbershop on the corner so he stops, and a short while later he's back on his way.




A week or two passes, and he pulls into the little barbershop again.





"Hello again Sir." the barber says. "What can I do for you?"


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I'm holding a presentation infront of Microsoft tomorrow. Give me your worst / best joke about Microsoft!

Dear Reddit! Tomorrow I will be presenting my product / pitch in front of hundreds of Microsoft employees. Help me start with a bang, give me the worst / best joke about Microsoft that you have. Let's get dirty!

Once a guy had a very important presentation.

He was getting late and couldn't find a spot to park his car. In desperation he began to pray to God.

"Oh God! If you find me a parking spot I promise to go to church every Sunday, I will not flirt with Sally next door and will never touch whiskey again."

Just as he finishes his prayer...

To the person who stole my presentation

I hope you do not Excel.

I accidentally called a presentation a "slide deck"

Now everyone on the Zoom meeting knows I'm actually 40

On my way for the latest Porsche presentation..

the airport officials requested the purpose of my flight.
I wrote down "I'm here for the newest 911".
Best regards from Guantanamo.

What medication does a snake take before giving a presentation?

An antihissstamine.

My boss asked me to start the presentation with a joke.

So I showed everyone my payslip

This is a presentation of top 10 women I have slept with before

That’s the end of my presentation

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I haven't prepared for my presentation tomorrow on "how to properly remove a wedgie"...

I'm just going to pull it out of my arse.

The salesperson showed us a PowerPoint presentation on the waterpark we're going to.

It has several slides.

If you have a presentation, you should practice with a microphone.

Why? Because they will always give you feedback.

My teacher hated my Powerpoint presentation about the NRA....

Too many bullet points.

What's the best way to start an underwear presentation?

Start with a brief introduction.

Today I made an in depth presentation about ground breaking research on bad effects of the two legged posture in humans

It was well received. In fact they even gave me a standing ovation.

I remember having a dry ice presentation in middle school.

It was sublime.

A paraplegic gave a moving presentation on how much he misses using his legs

He received a standing ovation

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In college, we had a presentation where people dressed up as the different types of quark.

It was pretty boring, but it got a lot more interesting after I fucked up.

A female student is giving presentation on Adam Smith in her economics class

However, she always refers to him as Smith. The professor asks her to name him after which he's met by a blank stare.

"I'll give you a hint. It's the name of the first man" says the professor.

Blushing, the student replies, "Ummm... Dave?"

"Hey, how the presentation went? Did they ask you any questions?"

"Nah, no FAQs were given."

My boss told me to make a PowerPoint presentation about water parks.

There's loads of slides.

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