There were these three guys. They all worked together at a factory. Everyday they noticed that their boss would leave work a little early.

So one day they meet together and say that today when the boss leaves, they'll all leave early too.
The boss left and so did they.

The first guy goes home and goes to bed so he can get an early start the next day.

The second guy goes home and cooks dinner.

The third guy goes ...

In Jerusalem, a female journalist heard about a very old Jewish man who had been going to the Wailing Wall to pray, twice a day, everyday, for a long, long time. So she went to check it out.

She went to the Wailing Wall and there he was!

She watched him pray and after about 45 minutes, when he turned to leave, she approached him for an interview.

“Sir, how long have you been coming to the Wall and praying?”

“For about 60 years.”

“60 years! That’s amazing! Wha...

My son was chewing electrical wires everyday.

So I grounded him until he conducts himself properly.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Pissed off God by not seeing everyday miracles.

There's an old joke...

There's a flood. A man is standing in knee deep water in his house. Another man in a canoe paddles by and says "Get in I'll row you to safety!"

The man says,"No thanks. I've prayed and God will save me".

The water gets to his chest. Another man in a bass b...

A doctor comes to a bar and orders almonds and daiquiri everyday

One day the bartender gives him hickory instead of almonds
The doctor asked what is this?
The bartender said “ it a hickory daiquiri doc”

I used to smoke marijuana everyday but recently I had to quit and take a break because my friends we're telling me that I was getting WAY too paranoid.

Well, I mean, they weren't telling me, but I Know they were thinking it.

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If Nicholas Cage shoved an angry rat up his butt, and you interviewed the rat everyday

His response would likely be, “Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage.”

A blind guy walks into a primarily female bar

During a break in the music, he loudly says "hey, y'all wanna hear a blond joke?" Being blind, he doesn't realize how many blond women are in the bar. The bartender walks up to him and tells him "alright man, I know you're blind and new around here, so let me offer you some advice. I am 6'5 and blon...

I treat everyday like I'm running a marathon tomorrow...

I load up carbs, rest and don't run.

A doctor and a lawyer loved the same girl

Everyday the doctor brought her roses, while the lawyer got her an apple, without fail. One day, the girl decides to ask the lawyer why the apples, to which the lawyer replies, “an apple a day keeps the doctor away”

Dude explaining how he got his first $10million

1. Get up at 5:00 AM Everyday

2. 90 minutes of cardio

3: take a cold shower

4: journal

5: schedule out your day

6:dad owns Fortune 500 company

6: meditate

When our grandad was 65, we told him to run a mile everyday.

now he's 70, but we have no idea where he is.

You know I always used to think that my girlfriend was just not funny.

That was until I realized that she told me jokes everyday! Like “I love you” or “I never cheated on you”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An elderly couple in a senior's home used to visit the recreation room everyday. While there, the old lady would sit quite contently holding the old guys's penis. One day she goes down to the rec. room and is mortified to find her man with another woman holding his penis.

"What's she got that I don't have" she says. He looks up with a large smile on his face and replies "Parkinson's"

An intern recently started working for an IT programming firm.

Everyday he went into work he was always harassed by his peers, they kept saying he was never being true always being false.
#
So I had to step in, I couldn’t let them
keep Boolean him.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In Texas, close to the border with Mexico, there was a priest who hated Mexicans

That Sunday, after reading the Bible, the priest started his sermon:

"Today we'll reflect on Peter's lie about being a follower of Jesus. That night, Peter acted as a coward and a liar, just like these damn Mexicans we see every day in this town!"

The whole congregation started to shou...

My brother told me this yesterday: "I take a BMW back from school everyday"

"Huh?"

"Well, first I take the **bus** , then I take the **MRT** and finally I walk"

^(Not sure if y'all find this funny just wanted to share :>)

I heard Joe Biden was gonna get the same intelligence briefing Trump gets everyday for the first time tomorrow.

Does the coloring book come with crayons?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Prince Charles decided to take up walking and everyday, at the same street corner, he would pass a hooker. He learned to brace himself as he approached her for what was almost certain to follow.

“One hundred and fifty pounds!" she'd shout. "No! Five pounds!" he said from the side of his mouth, just to shut her up.

This ritual between him and the hooker became a daily occurrence. She'd yell "One hundred and fifty pounds!" He'd yell back "Five pounds!"

One day, Camilla decided t...

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Last Day Alive

My dad was ill and the doctor said this was his last day left to live. I was truly sad and was walking outside when I spotted a wishing well. Taking my chances I tossed in a quarter and wished his life would be extended. A r/jokes mod genie appeared out of the well and said " I hear your wish my son...

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Life is Perspective...

Next time you're feeling down, remember life is about perspective.

I have a friend that has sex 2-3 times a day, exercises twice a day, reads two books a week, yet everyday he complains how much he hates prison.

The secret to a long life.

Everyone asked a 100 year-old man for his health secrets:
The old man said: “I’ll tell you you a secret.
I’ve been married for 75 years. Promised my wife when we got married that when two people quarrel, the loser has to walk for 5 kilometers.
I’ve been walking 5 kilometers everyday for...

For me everyday is Cake day

And sometimes cake morning, and cake afternoon and cake evening.

I just like cake.

And pie.

So, for me everyday is also Pie day.

Getting Alzheimer's is like being famous because you won't recognize anybody, but everybody will recognize you...

Plus, if there's just one positive from getting Alzheimer's... It's laughing at the brand new jokes in this subreddit all day, everyday!

Someone asked me what I gained by going on Reddit everyday.

I replied, "Weight."

It's a very busy day in heaven, so God tells the angel at the gate to only allow people in who've had a terrible last day on earth.

The angel calls the first guy up, and asks him how his last day on earth was. "Horrible! My last day on earth was the worst in my life! I came home from work early, because I was suspecting that my wife was cheating on me, and when I went into my house I saw her naked in bed! I checked all the cupbo...

What do depressed teenagers go through everyday?

Pain and Acne

I took my daughter to my office for, "Bring your kid to work day". BIG MISTAKE!

After meeting everyone she started getting cranky and began to cry. As everyone gathered around to try to console her, she looked at me and in a loud voice complained, "Where are all the clowns you tell me & mommy you work with everyday?"

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A woman visited her doctor for her annual exam. The doctor asked, “Are you and your husband sexually active?” “Yes, we have verbal sex everyday.” the woman answered. “Verbal sex? I think you mean oral sex!” the doctor laughed. “No, I mean verbal sex.” the woman persisted...

“Every morning my husband and I pass each other in the hall and say, ‘Fuck you!’"

After waking up with a hangover everyday for a month, I've decided to make a life changing decision

I'm going to drink more water before bed

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The appliances in a sexy woman's bathroom start arguing...

It all started when the bathtub was bragging he gets to see her naked everyday.
The sink piped up, "That's nothing. Daily oral. What guy could ask for more?"
The toilet flushed, "Amateur. I get both holes. Anal multiple times a day."
The tub, feeling like he shouldn't be beat by the toile...

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I have sex with my wife almost everyday!

Almost on Monday, almost on Tuesday, almost on Wednesday...

A wife waits outside the doctors office while her husband is in there with him. After a short time, he comes out, crying....

Wife - "Honey, what's wrong?"

Husband - "The doc told me I have to take a pill everyday for the rest of my life!"

Wife - "Well, that's not so bad, I thought it was something much worse!"

Husband - "He only gave me three of them...."

If you work hard everyday, your hard work will pay off and you will eventually be successful.

My parents used to tell me that joke all the time.

Still remember it to this day.

A young boy deposit 100$ everyday in the bank...

One day the general manager noticed the young boy and asked the clerk about him. He then told him that the young boy comes everyday and deposit exactly $100 each time. So the manager told the clerk to send him the lil boy the next time he comes to the bank. The next day the boy comes in and he's sen...

Don't be mad about the police. They risk their life everyday, going out

On another note, so does everyone in the USA.

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I read an article that says if you drink everyday, you are an alcoholic...

Thank fuck I only drink at night.

No running in heaven

So a man died and went to heaven. When he got to the gates Saint Peter was waiting for him.
He told him :
You were a very good person in your lifetime so as a price you can go to the farm next to the gate and pick any car you want so you can drive inside heaven.

The man goes and starts ...

Help With Counting Money

Patel: Remove your clothes.


Wife: Why Remove my clothes?


Patel: Just do and come beside me on the bed.


Wife: Okay they are off.


Patel: Nice sweetie. What about your bra and panties? Remove them also.


Wife: Please I am not in the mood. ...

I think my wife is starting to get depressed with all this rain we’re getting. Everyday, I see her at the window with a sad look on her face.

If it gets any worse I might have to let her back inside.

I’ve been solving derivatives everyday, for a week and I haven’t been able to do more than 20 a day.

I guess that’s my limit.

Ok, this isn't a great joke, but...

So a boy has been getting dropped off at his grandpa's house after school because of his parents' work schedule. The grandpa makes the boy dinner everyday and at one point the boy notices some crust on the plate.

He asks his grandpa "Why is there crust on my plate?" To which grandpa replies "...

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I'm sick of being surrounded by assholes everyday

I should stop practicing proctology.

Everyday my 90 year old neighbour who has alzhiemers knocks on my door

Everyday my 90 year old neighbour who has alzhiemers knocks on my door and asks me if I've seen his wife .

And everyday I have to tell that 90 year old man his wife has been long dead .
You know I have thought of not answering the door I have even thought about moving.

But you know ...

A man opens up a pool Club

A man opens a pool club. It’s the only one in town so hundreds of people swim in it everyday.
The man however never swims in the pool himself. One day someone sees him taking a shower under a tap. The persons asks why doesn’t he just swim in his pool.
The man says,” Are you crazy? I fill the p...

Mark Zuckerberg says he wears a grey t-shirt everyday because he doesn't want to waste time on things that don't matter.

He runs Facebook.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

This German shepherd comes and takes a shit on my lawn everyday.

Yesterday, he brought his dog along.

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How to catch a fish

Another joke that i heard in Hindi many years ago. Trying to translate in English.

On a sunny day, a man was sitting by a river with his fishing hook in the water hoping to catch a fish. He was unsuccessful, so he goes the next day and the day after and continuously for several days with no ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Same Lunch Everyday

A Mexican, Armenian, Korean, and Redneck are construction workers. Every day, there is a bell that sounds at 12:00 PM notifying the workers that it is their lunch break. The workers go on with their day and as soon as the bell rings, they grab their lunches and sit together to eat.


The ...

Doctor: The bad news is you’re going to have to take one of these tablets everyday for the rest of your life.

Doctor: The really bad news is I’m only giving you three

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My friend asked me if it’s ok to use everyday objects for sexual stimulation.

He’s sitting on the fence.

I try to teach my mom something new everyday.

Because you're supposed to learn from your mistakes.

What do a Nobel prize winner and an everyday farmer have in common?

Both are outstanding in their field

Everyday I tell the wife I’m gonna do a few miles around the neighborhood for exercise. And I never do lol.

It’s a running joke I have

Once lived a man with his mother, who dreamt of buying a car everyday.

But those were hard times. Money was scarce. Jobs weren't easy to get. So, he applied to work as a worker in a dairy factory, coz who doesn't want to have milk, but soon realised with his monthly wages, it'll take him 10 years to save enough money for the car.

Next, he applied in a newspaper ...

Parrot

A woman walks by a pet store everyday on her way to work and everyday the parrot out front calls her ugly!! Finally she confronts the store owner her apologizes profusely. He scolds the bird and promised that it wouldn’t happen again. Next day she walks by the store and again the parrot calls her ug...

An oilfield worker drives past the same farm everyday and always notices this pig with 3 legs.

One day he finally decides to stop by the farm and ask the farmer what’s going on with that pig.

“Well,” the farmer says, “my house was burning down one day and my poor old dog was trapped in there. Full on flames and smoke and that pig ran in and saved my dog.”

“Did his leg burn off?...

I’ve always wanted a swimmers body so I go to the swimming pool everyday...

But no one ever drowns

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Translated this joke from my native language...

A guy say (Billy) who had very small penis, came to know about a guy. who knew a word, which upon saying penis grows by some inches.



Billy went there, that guy sat on a hill, and to climb that hill, there was a rope. So Billy started climbing that hill, upon climbing, the man asked B...

Today is 3 wks in quarantine w/o sugar. Walking 3 miles a day, no meat, dairy or flour! I feel great! No alcohol & vegan diet! A 2 hr home workout everyday. Lost 14 lbs & gained muscle mass!

I have no idea whose tweet this is but I’m proud of them so I decided to copy & paste it!

Doctor: Take 1 of these pills everyday for the rest of your life

Patient: But there's only seven pills in here!
Doctor: Exactly

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Luigi walks to work 20 blocks everyday and passes a shoe store twice everyday.

Each day he stops and looks in the window to admire the Armani leather shoes.

He wants those shoes so much...it's all he can think about.

After about 2 months he saves the price
of the shoes, $300, and purchases them.

Every Friday night the Italian community
holds a dance ...

Everyday at breakfast, I announce that I'm going for a jog, and then I don't.

It was my longest running joke of the year.

The monk joke (Long)

A millionaire decides that it's a lovely day to take his new plane out for the day, a couple hours into his flight he begins to have trouble so decides he will land on a small island off in the distance

When he lands he is greeted by several monks who welcome him with open arms and take him o...

TIL there are over 20,000 battered women in the U.S. everyday...

I don't know if I can ever go back to eating them plain...

A man is going across the border with different bicycles everyday with bags of sand on the handle bars

The border patrol searches methodically and carefully everyday in the sand and they are never able to find anything. An agent retired 7 years later meets the man in a cafe while they’re both getting a coffee. The man asked if he could buy the drink but a question would have to be answered. The man ...

My grandmother ate spaghetti everyday

Until she pasta-way

The most important thing I learned in school is how to use math in my everyday life.

Damn, I meant to say meth, damn drugs been messing with my brain

A mother has two babies, and she breastfeed them everyday

During breastfeeding, each baby would suckle on one of her nipples.

One day, one of the baby came up with a scheme to murder his brother, thinking that he would get more milk to himself that way. So, he secretly applied poison to the his brother's "nipple".

Little did he know, his br...

[META] r/Jokes keeps me going

I'm sorry if this is not allowed here but I had to share. I have a bunch of health issues, severe anxiety, and depression. I've on multiple occasions felt like giving up. Sometimes, no matter how much support you have it is difficult to keep going. That's where you guys come in. I read your jokes al...

Morning habits: everyday I have to pee at 6am

Then I wake up and get ready for work

"You just need to relax Steve, it's just a minor surgery, it happens everyday with no issues" the surgeon said

The patient replies "But my name isn't Steve"

Nervously, the surgeon replies "But my name is"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My grandpa likes to boast that his bodily functions are like clockwork

Now he wasn't always like this so he's been taking extra pride in it:

"everyday I go to sleep at 21 o'clock.then at 5:30 a.m. I take a piss.At 5:45 I have a shit,and at 6 a.m. sharp I wake up."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"Do one thing everyday that scares you." -Eleanor Roosevelt

Today, I will fuck a cactus.

I beat my wife everyday

Sometimes she screams so loud that I'm worried the neighbors would hear us. She constantly cries, begging me to stop. I know it’s not a nice thing to do. I just get so much satisfaction from her suffering. But tell me, should I just let her win a game of Super Smash Bros for once?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Shelley's parents finally built up the nerve to confront their daughter about her time spent at the beach everyday...

 

 

Mom : "Quite a little operation you have going on out here sweetie.. but are you sure you've given this enough thought...?"

 

Shelley : "I sure have! This has always been my dream and I'm finally doing it! You should always do what yo...

Everyday someone mysteriously adds more dirt on top of my garden

The plot thickens

I work at a bank and everyday this middle aged girl comes in and asks me to check her balance. I finally got tired of it and pusher her over. She didn’t have good balance.

I did what she asked so idk why they fired me

A man comes in a bar everyday for a couple of weeks, orders 2 shots of whiskey and leaves...

One day the barkeeper asked him why he never wants to drink something else? The man replied: „My best friend moved to australia a couple of weeks ago and we both decided to go to a bar everyday and drink 2 shots of whiskey so it‘s like we’re drinking them together.“ The barkeeper was amazed and said...

A re-purposed religious joke for current events

A man went out without a mask, and was met with glaring eyes everywhere he went. He finally got to the store when someone confronted him as he got in.

"Sir, I'm going to need you to put on a mask. It's policy to wear one when you come in" said the guard blocking the doorway.

"No! I d...

In my past life, I was a warrior for an Indian Tribe, and was madly in love with the chiefs daughter

In this tribe we were named after the first thing our mothers saw when we were born. And His daughter, Lily Petal, was absolutely beautiful, and everyday I sighed knowing there was nothing I could do to ever win her attention. I was just boring old Falling Rock, a nobody warrior.

But one day,...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

(NSFW) I give my GF an orgasm everyday.

And sometimes she spits it back out.

6 Times A Day

A husband & wife visited a farm. They saw a bull mating with a cow. The wife asked the farm manager.
Wife: "How many times does a bull mate a day?"
Manager replied: "6 times a day."
The wife looked at her husband & said ".... u see!"
Then the husband asked the manager.
Husband...

After a day fishing in the ocean a fisherman is walking from the pier carrying two lobsters in a bucket.

He is approached by the ranger who asks him for his fishing license.

The fisherman says to the warden, "I did not catch these lobsters, they are my pets. Everyday I come down to the water and whistle and these lobster jump out and I take them for a walk only to return them at the end of the d...

When I was a boy, I had a disease that forced me to eat dirt everyday in order to survive...

It’s a good thing my older brother told me about it

Great coffee

A gentleman drinks coffee everyday at the same place, one day he asks the Barista 'you know it would be wonderful if you give me a free coffee as I pay for it everyday' and the barista replies 'sure, since we are changing the routine, how about i serve you an empty cup?'

My personal trainer told me to drink a protein shake everyday at 3 in the morning.

But that's whey past my bedtime.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Jehovah's witnesses are always banging on my door everyday

Joke's on them, I'm never letting them out of my basement.

Everyday I spend with my husband feels like I've won the lottery

Because I married for money

"You shouldn't have opened that box. Just sayin'"

\-Epimetheus, husband to Pandora and god of hindsight, everyday for the rest of eternity

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So I was having sex with this woman...

I had her bent over her kitchen table, giving it to her good. When all of a sudden we heard a car door slam out front.

“Oh god,” she said, “it’s my husband. Quick, use the back door!”

Well, I probably should have left at that point, but it’s not an offer you get everyday...

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A woman visits her mother and tell her she's divorcing her husband.

The mother replies:

But why? Your husband is super kind, good looking and is a millionaire. You're living in a castle, you're driving a rolls royce, you even have butlers!

Yes mother, but he is obsessed with anal sex. Everyday ha wants to put it in my ass.

Before i met him my as...

How Egyptians solve problems.

In Cairo there is a large hole in the ground left over from a construction project that was never finished. Everyday several people unexpectedly walk right into the hole and are badly injured.

By the time the ambulance arrives and brings the victims to the hospital it is often too late to sa...

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Everyday a man named Jack would chew and swallow three whole packs of bubble gum.

Finally his concerned coworkers asked, "Jack, whats the deal with chewing and swallowing all this bubble gum?"

Jack responded by saying, "I don't know... It just helps me keep my shit together."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Valentine’s Day story

A boy was walking home from school when he passed by a stray cat. The cat was trying to drink water that had spilt on the tarmac near it. The boy saw that the tarmac was dirty, and was worried that the cat would get sick if it kept drinking the water. He started to slowly walk towards the cat while ...

Every day a man goes into a coffee shop. Everyday he orders the same drink from the same barista and pays exactly 5 dollars . He always sits in the same seat, finishes the drink and leaves.

One day he orders the same drink from the same barista and extends the 5 dollar bill. The barista informs the man, “sir, I’m sorry but we’ve raised the price to $5.25.” The man hesitantly takes out another dollar and hands it to the lady. She tries to hand him back the extra .75 cents but he refuses...

A little old lady would feed two squirrels in her backyard everyday. One morning the old lady goes out to feed them and finds them dead. She decides she can't live without them and takes them to a taxidermist. She asks to have them stuffed. The taxidermist asked if she wanted them mounted...

"No!" She said. "Holding hands will be just fine."

I think my wife’s showing symptoms of Alzheimers.

She’s telling me everyday that she can’t remember what she saw in me that made her marry me.

I asked a nun why she wore the same costume everyday.

She said, "It's a habit."

Sorry

Everyday biology pun

What do you get when you mix picture day with writing a biology essay?



photos-and-thesis

There was a porta-potty near the edge of a small cliff

Everyday young Bobby would walk by it on the way home from school, and every day he would resist the temptation to kick it off the edge of the cliff.

This all changed one day when Bobby had a particularly bad day at school. He had learned about boring topics, like how George Washington cut do...

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A cruise ship was attacked by a group of pirates. All the men were captured, including the captain. One day he complained to the pirates.

Captain: I haven't had sex for weeks. I need a woman please.

Pirates: You can try the barrel with a small hole drilled through it downstairs. It feels just like having sex with a woman.

Captain: Seriously?

The captain, feeling skeptical, went downstairs anyway for the barrel. Af...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I've woken up everyday, opened the curtains to find a German shepherd taking a shit on my lawn..

And this morning the cheeky bastard brought his dog with him.

So there was this kid who was lazy and couldnt wake up early..

His mom wanted to teach him a lesson about the benefits of waking up early.

She said: Son, i am going to tell you a little story and then i want you to tell me what did you learn from it ok?

Son: Ok

Mom: imagine two birds. First bird always wakes up early and can find bugs to f...

If everyday was a gift

I’d like to know where I could return Mondays

I tell myself everyday that I should stop doing drugs.

But I’m not listening to a weirdo who is high all the time and talks to himself.

You don't see that everyday.

A man was driving his ferrari down a country road when a farmer flagged him down and said that his tractor died in a field and needed a little help. The man agreed to help tow the farmer's tractor back to his farm. They agreed that the tractor's left blinker meant speed up and the right blinker mean...

A doctor and an engineer fell in love with the same girl. The doctor would bring her expensive gifts everyday, but the engineer only gave her an apple everyday, WHY?

Because an apple a day keeps the doctor away...

There's a woman named Jean who works in my lab and everyday she comes in stinking of body odor.

I don't really speak to her much and rarely say hello, usually if I pass her in the hallway I just say "Hi Jean"

They say dress everyday like you might meet the love of your life...

Now I know why it takes my wife so long to get ready.

My son is starting to use reddit more and more everyday...

I think I passed him something heREDDITary ...

A world with the undead

Imagine a world where zombies exist, but they're not dangerous. Just like you and I every day, except they eat brains.
The government has decided that humans can donate their organ to zombies for consumption.
Everything is pretty much back to normal.

A man and a woman end up going on...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Everyday Mom would take her 7 year Old Daughter for a drive in her car.

One day Mom was busy so Dad took the little girl for a drive.

Later Mom asked how was a drive with Dad?

Daughter: It was very strange. In the entire drive we did not see a single:

Idiot,
Nonsense,
Hell,
Bastard.

We Just Saw:

Hot,
Damn,
Wow,
Foxy...

Joke advice

Hello everyone, at my job we are having a employee appreciation thing where we're giving out debby cakes and littles cup of ice cream to them. I am having to make little cute pun-ny notes on the cakes, but I need more ideas! If you can, drop some funny clever cake puns <3

Here's what I hav...

A jealous woman, while on a road trip with her friends, would call her husband everyday to check on him.

Her: Where are you?

Him: At home hun.

Her: Don't trust you. Can you run the food processor for me so I know you are home?

Him: Sure Hun .

Whirrrrrrrrrr


Him: There you go.

Her: Ok. Talk to you later...


This went on for a few days. She wou...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There was this Wal-Mart greeter ...and everyday he was cheerful, happily greeting customers with a "Welcome to Walmart; I hope your day is wonderful!" or an "Enjoy your shopping!"

One day a loud, boisterous, unkempt woman comes in with her two children, who are running around and causing havoc as she yells at them. The old man greets her in his usual cordial manner, and she snaps back a rude reply to him.

Smiling, the old man looks at the lady and says, "What wonderful...

What do you call a lizard that reposts old jokes everyday?

Karmachameleon.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My friend brags he shits 10kg of poo everyday.

Load of crap.

It’s not everyday that you see the same post at least twice on Reddit’s front page.

Some days, you’re just too busy to get on Reddit.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Everyday a doctor walks into a bar to chat and drink with the bartender named Dick.

Every time the doctor enters he gets an almond daiquiri. One day dick ran out of almonds and used hickory.

Doctor: Is this an almond daiquiri Dick?

Dick: No, it's a hickory daiquiri Doc.

Everyday I say to myself: Jack you need to stop drinking.

Luckily my name is not jack.

I'll never understand how Americans use cheese from tubes or slices as everyday food...

We should definitely make America grate again.

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