UPJOKE
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Context Jokes

Scientist: "My findings are meaningless if taken out of context."

Media: Scientist claims "Findings are meaningless."

The meaning of the word “oops” is actually highly dependent on context

I learned that when I heard my barber say it and then my brain surgeon later that day

Historical Context on How to Pronounce the Sauce

Since we are talking about how to pronounce the sauce. I though I would give some historical context I was talk when I was younger.

In the 19th Century, 2 men in England created a new sauce. It was savory, and went well with potatoes and meats. The 2 men didn't know what to call this sauce, s...

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4-year-old's joke: What is a duck's favorite snack? Peanut butter (context in comments)

We told my four-year-old a joke: What is a duck's favorite snack? Quackers! HA!

He asked, "Quackers?" *confused* "Like, peanut butter and crackers?" "Sure, like peanut butter and crackers."

*runs into other room, calling his grandfather* "Pop Pop! What is a duck's favorite snack?...

A context joke

Have you ever noticed that when you say, "I hope you're hungry" in a place like America it's nice.
But if you say that in Africa it is a cruel joke.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two scientists walk into a bar.

"I'll have H2O," says the first.

"I'll have H2O, too," says the second.

The bartender gives them both water because he is able to distinguish the boundary tones that dictate the grammatical function of homonyms in coda position, as well as pragmatic context.

What’s the difference btw an Onion and an Englishman?

No one cries when you cut up an Englishman

Note: don’t know if the context helps, but a friend heard this from a Scottish tour guide on a trip to Britain.

Context is everything

"Jesus loves you!"

A lovely thing to hear in church. Not so much in a Mexican prison.

Whenever I use idioms in the wrong context...

...people look at me as if I'm as thick as thieves!

Without context, where would we be?

Joke is the title. If you don't get it, think about it a bit.

Student: Can I borrow a pencil?

**Teacher:** I don't know, can you borrow a pencil?

**Student:** Aha, but I clearly meant to ask for permission. Since you and the rest of the class understood my intent perfectly well, and the word "may" to show permission is rapidly falling out of fashion, there is nothing wrong with asking...

You know, under the right context, a kidnapping has the potential to be a very serene experience

For example, a kid napping.

My fiancé said the funniest thing out of context today.

Lewis and Clark were so starved on their exploration, Sacajawea had a hard time understanding why they didn't eat Seaman.

So a Catholic walks into a bar.... during Lent[Long] [Cultural context wise kinda inappropriate given the season]

An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender asks him, “You know, a pint goes flat after I draw it; wouldn’t you ra...

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(accidentally invented when heard words out of context) What kind of food did Hitler eat?

Notseafood

Twenty years from now, kids listening to "Baby it's cold outside" are gonna find it really, really weird, and we're gonna have to explain that it has to be understood in the context of its time.

You see, it used to get cold outside.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A joke about an old Jew.

For context, the Western Wall, found on the Temple Mount is the holiest site in Judaism.

Here is the joke:

An old Jew prays briefly at the Western Wall every morning.

A reporter says to the old Jew:

"What have you been praying for?"

The old Jew says: "I have been p...

She fell in love with...

She fell in love with an electrician, and she got shocked.

She fell in love with an artist, and things got sketchy.

She fell in love with a musician, and she got played.

She fell in love with a photographer...

My grandfather died and I inherited some of his clothes.

He was a farmer and he loved getting dressed up every year for the local fair and exhibiting his prize chickens.

For this occasion, my grandmother would spend the entire year searching through thrift shops looking for silly neckties for him to wear, and she loved finding ones with chickens o...

Joke told in the Soviet Union

(For context only 1/7 Soviets owned a car, and once you paid up front there was a 10 year wait to get one)

A man walks into the car store wanting to buy a car. He pays the man at the counter and the man at the counter says “Alright, just come back in 10 years to pick one up.” The man replies ...

given the context, "hard at work" is something your boss would either really love or really hate for you to be

because erections

Maybe more of a curse than a joke

I read some words from an anonomous author on the internet about 20 years ago. No context, just a single line that has haunted me ever since.

>!Nobody likes ketchup precum.!<

That's my gift to you. My guard is soon over. May these words forever live in your memory until you one d...

What do you call a letter sent by a criminal

Context

Knock knock

Context my son was not in the mood for knock knock jokes

Me: Knock knock

Me: Knock knock

Me: Knock knock

Him: oh good they left

There are two types of people on the planet...

Those who can extrapolate information based upon the given context

My dentist told me to “open up”

So I told him that I often have trouble putting peoples words into context. My dentist said “I can tell”

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