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Kinds Jokes

there are ten kinds of people

Those who understand binary jokes, and those who don't.

There are two kinds of people who care a lot about their exact age.

Small children and 39 year old's.

In ancient Rome, there were 4 kinds of poison. Poisons I, II, and III would kill you instantly.

Poison IV would just make you itchy.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There are four kinds of sex

HOUSE SEX - When you are newly married and have sex all over the house in every room.

BEDROOM SEX - After you have been married for a while, you only have sex in the bedroom.

HALL SEX - After you've been married for many, many years you just pass each other in the hall and say "FUCK YO...

There are two kinds of people in this world

1. Those who can extrapolate meaning from incomplete data

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A family is having dinner at the table one evening, when the son asks the father, "Dad, how many different kinds of boobs are there?" The father is a little taken aback, but he ponders for a moment before answering...

"Well, my son, a woman goes through three phases in life. In her 20s, her breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they become like pears, still nice, but hanging a bit. But after 50, her breasts become like onions."

The son is confused and asks, "Onions?"

The fathe...

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Poop jokes aren't my absolute favorite kinds of jokes.

But they're a solid #2.

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A quack posted a sign on his place which said "Can treat all kinds of illneses for $100. If I can't, I'll pay you $100"

A guy tried his luck and went inside.

Guy: hey doc, my sense of taste is messed up

Quack: Okay. Let me get the medicine from the second shelf and you'll drink one tablespoon of it

[*guy drinks medicine*]

Guy: [*spits*] fuck you, this is gasoline!

Quack: y...

There are 2 kinds of people...

Those that squeeze the toothpaste tube from the bottom

And

Godforsaken Sociopaths

There are three kinds of people on this earth.

Those who are good at math and those who are not

Did you know that some special kinds of mushrooms make people think more clearly?

That’s just some food for thought.

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Three surgeons are talking about their favorite kinds of patients.

"My favorite patients are librarians." says the first surgeon. "They're easy to operate on because their organs are all in alphabetical order."

"My favorite patients are mathematicians." says the second surgeon. "They're easy to operate on because all their organs are numbered."

"My fa...

That rabbi's gone crazy! He's been running around a circumcising all kinds of lettuce...

and that's just the tip of the iceberg.

I decorated one of the walls in my home with pictures of all kinds of different birds.

It's my great and glorious birder wall

A global crisis broke out, affecting every nation and people of all kinds

In response, the world banded together and quickly solved the problem through mutual cooperation and understanding

It was George the Mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood. When he arrived at the first house on his route, he was greeted by the whole family who congratulated him and sent him on his way with a tidy gift envelope.

At the second house, they presented him with a box of fine cigars. The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures.

At the fourth house, he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful blonde woman in a revealing negligee. She took him by the hand, gently led h...

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what do you call someone who likes all kinds of insects

beesexual

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Did you know that there are 4 different kinds of orgasms?

There are the positive ones, "yes, yes, yes oh yes! "
There are the negative ones, "no, no, no oh no!"
There are the religious ones, "God, God, God, oh my God!"
And there are the fake ones, (insert name of person you're telling it to) moan (name again)

There are two kinds of people: those who know the meaning of the word 'inflammable',

and I would like to offer my condolences to the grieving families of the second group.

There are II kinds of people

Those who understand Roman numerals and those who don't

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How many kinds of people?

(Inspired by the joke "there are 2 kinds of people, those who say there are 2 kinds of people and everyone else)

An interfaith conference is held on diversity. An attendee from each religion addresses their view on the kinds of people in the world.

An atheist rushes the podium and says...

There are two kinds of countries

Those who use the metric system, and those who have their flag on the moon.

There are two kinds of people: those who say there is no such thing as infinite recursion, and those who say

"There are two kinds of people: those who say there is no such thing as infinite recursion, and those who say

"There are two kinds of people: those who say there is no such thing as infinite recursion, and those who say

"There are two kinds of people: those who say there is no such th...

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Darn kinds

The kids filed back into class Monday morning. They were very excited. Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then give a talk on productive salesmanship.Little Sally led off: "I sold girl scout cookies and I made $30," she said proudly, "My sales approach was to appeal to the customer's ci...

There are 10 kinds of people in the world

Those who understand binary, and those who don’t.

There are 2.000000000001 kinds of people in the world

Those who have dealt with floating point, and those who have not.

There are two kinds of jokers

The ones that tell complete jokes, and the ones that

A lady went into the pharmacy, right up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said

"I would like to buy some cyanide."

The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"

The lady : "I need it to poison my husband."

The pharmacists eyes got big and he exclaimed : "Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband! That's against the law!...

What is your favorite "There are two kinds of people..." joke?

My favorite is "There are two kinds of people...those who cheat at 7-up, and god damned liars."

There are two kinds of people.

Those who don't understand exponential growth and those who explain it to at least two people from the first group.


(Inspired by covid. Yeah, I know it kind of sucks but I am posting it here with hope that someone will come up with a better wording in comments).

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