Du Jokes

They go back to his place, and sure enough, they go at it. After a long while, he climaxes. Then he rolls over, lights up a cigarette and asks her, “So… you finish?”

After a short pause, she replies, “No.”

Surprised, but pleasantly, he puts out his cigarette, rolls back on top of her, ... read more

A Fsh

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. 

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement an... read more

In order to get a visa, they were told they needed a more “American” name.

So, Chu became Chuck,

Du became Duck,

And Fu,

... well, Fu remained in China.

Yoda is working at a hotel as a concierge and a man walks up to the desk.

Yoda: Hello, welcome, you are.

Man: Hi, I'd like to book a triplex for the weekend.

Yoda: Sorry I am, only duplex we have.

Man: Are you sure? I really need the triplex.

Yoda: There is no tri,... read more

German heavy metal band Rammstein travels to Poland for the next stop on their international tour. As the airport official goes through their passports and checks them in, she asks, "Occupation?"

The singer replies, "No, no. Were just here to perform a show. We'll be gone by tomorrow morning.... read more

One is a group of cunning stunts.

*It's a joke I know in french. So I tried to translate it and did some improvments since my first comment, too:*

A 3rd grade class goes to the swimming pool.

The lifeguard asks to the class: "Does any one of you already know how to swim?"

Then the little Dimitri, all excited, an... read more

A teacher trying to teach good manners asked her students the following question:


"Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?"


Michael said: "Just a minute I have to go pee."


The te... read more

Who's there?

Du wing.

Du wing who?

Du wing your mom

he's Oliver DuPlace

The American police were after him after he killed nine people. The German police then found and arrested him. They took him to the station for questioning. Thankfully, the man did speak German. The German police had heard from the American police that this man never lies, which is true. So, the Ger... read more

They say that if it enters your house, your spelling starts to worsen. But that is only suprestition, ther is no whey deth e gost Ken du sash è t1ng, rait?

Omelette du Fromage

Food and drink show on TV doing a wine feature with 2 tasters being given a blind tasting. Both hate each other and are desperate to show off

The first taster takes a sip and says "oh this is clearly French, from the Rhone Valley"

The second cuts across him to say "Well, obviously, it'... read more

The caretaker sat pondering a cube he held before him. He sat amidst billions upon billions upon billions, which surrounded him. He alone, at the end of time, bore witness to the Great Library, the vast repository of consciousness in Universe.

Before him was a pile of similar cubes. These cub... read more

He wants to be an electrician but wasn’t sure if he was smart enough.

I told him “you con-du-it”

Du Bois

Avengers: Oh no, he did it he managed to get rid of half the universe we did not stop him there is no hope. We are in Endgame now.

Karen: ThE VaCCinEs TurNEd My KIdS tO DuSt !!!!!

Cirque du Sleigh

A Du-Rex!

You con-du-it!!!

They had fished in this lake for decades, and they knew there were no more fish in the lake, but they went because they enjoyed going and getting away from their wives. After a while, a young kid came along and cut a hole in the ice under a tree, close to the shore. Sven and Oli looked at each other... read more

Une femme avoue à son mari qu'elle a un fantasme depuis plusieurs années de faire l'amour pendant qu'un grand noir leur fait du vent avec une feuille de palmier.

Après y avoir bien réfléchi, le mari décide de demander à son collègue de l'aider.

Le lendemain, ils sont donc tous les 3 (l... read more

Brunette: "I'll have a B & C."

Bartender: "What's a B & C?"

Brunette: "Bourbon & Coke."

Redhead: "I'll have a G & T."

Bartender: "What's a G & T?"

Redhead: "Gin & Tonic."

Blonde: "I'll have a 15."

Bartender: "What's a 15?"
<... read more

Larry was a chemical engineer who worked for DuPont Chemicals and who was brilliant at his job. He’d been the main guy responsible for developing Kevlar and a host of other really great plastics and polymers.

However, it had been quite a while between new developments and so the VP of Researc... read more

A man gets in a cab at 33rd St. and Park Ave. and says, "I need to get to the Palmer House."

The cabbie says, "The Palmer House Hotel?"

The man says, "Yeah."

The cabbie says, "That's on Wabash in Chicago."

The man says, "Yeah."

The cabbie says, "I'm not gonna drive... read more