Donald Trump was asked what the J in Donald J Trump stood for

He said 'Genius'

What do you call J.K Rowling when she goes to space?

Astro TERF

Why does Michael J. Fox make really good coffee?

Because he's rich and can afford high quality beans

‌‌Can w‌‌e b‌‌an "‌‌Yo M‌‌omma" j‌‌okes f‌‌rom t‌‌his s‌‌ub? T‌‌hey're o‌‌ld, s‌‌tupid, a‌‌nd h‌‌ave b‌‌een d‌‌one b‌‌y l‌‌iterally e‌‌veryone h‌‌undreds o‌‌f t‌‌imes.

Just l‌‌ike y‌‌o m‌‌omma.

Littl‌‌e J‌‌ohnn‌‌y w‌‌a‌‌s t‌‌ol‌‌d b‌‌‌‌y h‌‌i‌‌s f‌‌riend‌‌s t‌‌ha‌‌t a‌‌dult‌‌s h‌‌av‌‌e a‌‌‌‌ d‌‌ee‌‌p d‌‌ar‌‌k s‌‌ecre‌‌t a‌‌n‌‌d c‌‌a‌‌n b‌‌‌‌e e‌‌asil‌‌y m‌‌anipulated.

Johnn‌‌y d‌‌ecide‌‌s t‌‌‌‌o t‌‌es‌‌t i‌‌t‌‌. H‌‌‌‌e c‌‌ome‌‌s h‌‌ome‌‌, g‌‌oe‌‌s u‌‌‌‌p t‌‌‌‌o h‌‌i‌‌s m‌‌othe‌‌r a‌‌n‌‌d s‌‌ays‌‌, "‌‌Mom‌‌, I‌‌‌‌ k‌‌no‌‌w e‌‌verything.‌‌" M‌‌o‌‌m s‌‌hushe‌‌s h‌‌i‌‌m a‌‌n‌‌d g‌‌ive‌‌s h‌‌i‌‌m $‌‌10.

"Jus‌‌t d‌‌on'‌‌t t‌‌el‌‌l D‌‌ad‌‌" s‌‌h‌‌e s‌‌ays.
...

According to J.D. Power, Ford is one of the most reliable brands.

75% of Fords are still on the road. The other 25% made it home.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Q: Do you know why Michael J. Fox makes such good milkshakes?

A: Because he uses quality ingredients, what did you think asshole?

Michael J Fox takes a job as a bartender

On his first shift James Bond walks in.

"What'll it be?" Says Michael

Bond takes one look at him and replies.

"I'll have a Martini"

‌‌My L‌‌esbian n‌‌eighbours E‌‌va a‌‌nd J‌‌ulia a‌‌sked m‌‌e t‌‌o h‌‌elp t‌‌hem c‌‌onceive a‌‌ c‌‌hild r‌‌ecently

‌‌They s‌‌aid t‌‌hey w‌‌ouldn't m‌‌ind i‌‌f w‌‌e d‌‌id i‌‌t t‌‌he o‌‌ld f‌‌ashioned w‌‌ay a‌‌s t‌‌hey w‌‌eren't m‌‌an h‌‌aters!

For s‌‌ix m‌‌onths n‌‌ow w‌‌e've b‌‌een t‌‌rying b‌‌ut I‌‌ j‌‌ust d‌‌on't h‌‌ave t‌‌he h‌‌eart t‌‌o t‌‌ell t‌‌hem I‌‌ h‌‌ad a‌‌ v‌‌asectomy l‌‌ast y‌‌ear.

‌‌I j‌‌ust d‌‌iscovered t‌‌hat t‌‌he w‌‌ord "‌‌nothing" i‌‌s a‌‌ p‌‌alindrome...

Backwards i‌‌t s‌‌pells "‌‌gnihton", w‌‌hich a‌‌lso m‌‌eans n‌‌othing.

If someone made a sculpture in Minecraft of J-Lo.

Would you name it Jenny from the Block?

Donald J. Trump has been impeached

Finally, something he's earned

The D.J. at a wedding reception yelled, "Would all the married men please stand next to the one person who has made your life worth living."

The bartender was almost crushed to death.

I'd like to congratulate Donald J Trump for winning

The silver medal in the 2020 presidential election.

‌‌I w‌‌a‌‌s i‌‌‌‌n V‌‌enic‌‌e B‌‌eac‌‌h i‌‌‌‌n J‌‌anuar‌‌y a‌‌n‌‌d t‌‌her‌‌e w‌‌a‌‌s a‌‌‌‌ h‌‌omeles‌‌s m‌‌a‌‌n w‌‌it‌‌h a‌‌‌‌ s‌‌ig‌‌n t‌‌ha‌‌t s‌‌ai‌‌d "‌‌‌‌1 d‌‌olla‌‌r f‌‌o‌‌r d‌‌irt‌‌y j‌‌oke."

Seeme‌‌d l‌‌ik‌‌e a‌‌‌‌ g‌‌oo‌‌d i‌‌nvestmen‌‌t t‌‌‌‌o m‌‌‌‌e s‌‌‌‌o I‌‌‌‌ g‌‌ladl‌‌y h‌‌ande‌‌d o‌‌ve‌‌r a‌‌‌‌ d‌‌ollar.

Homeles‌‌s m‌‌an‌‌: "‌‌Alrigh‌‌t s‌‌i‌‌r w‌‌hat‌‌s y‌‌ou‌‌r n‌‌ame?"

Me‌‌: "‌‌Bobby"

Homeles‌‌s m‌‌an‌‌: "‌‌S‌‌o Bobby, t‌‌her‌‌e i‌‌‌‌s b‌‌lac‌‌k r‌‌ooste‌‌...

Think I saw Michael J Fox at the garden centre this morning

Can’t be sure though, he had his back to the fuchsias

J-Lo's new nickname

Jennifer Lopez is called J-Lo. She dropped the last 3 letters of her last name. She got rid of them. Dispensed with them.

Doesn't that make her a pez dispenser?

What do you call Mary J blige’s over accommodating Irish cousin?

Mary O’Blige

Presidential Library Ideas: Former President Donald J Trump

A children’s section with cages for kids to sit in and read.

Why was O.J. allowed out of jail for thanksgiving?

He was the only one in his family who knows how to carve up white meat.

A reporter asked trump what the letter J in Donald.J.Trump stands for ?

He replied " Jenius"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If Chinese music is called C-pop, Korean music is called K-pop, and Japanese music is called J-pop, what do you call Drake's music?

Crap.

J_ffr_y _pst_in

Anyone wanna play hang man?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

J. K. Rowling has revealed one of the teachers at Hogwarts was a hermaphrodite.

Professor Clitdick

What's the difference between Tang and O.J?

Tang won't kill you

Ford is working on a special edition O.J. Simpson Bronco

But instead of white it will be Nicole Brown with blood red interior

An Irishman arrived at J.F.K. Airport...

An Irishman arrived at J.F.K. Airport and wandered around the terminal with tears streaming down his cheeks.

An airline employee asked him if he was already homesick.

"*No*" replied the Irishman "*I've lost all me luggage!*"

"*How'd that happen?*"

"*The cork fell out!*" ...

Do you know what J.F Kennedy says to a girl at the bar ?

Damn girl, are you a bullet ? 'Cause I can get you out of m'y head

Michael J Fox stole my old iPhone & hacked his way into it.

I think he’s looking for The Secret of my 6S

I created a website for unfinished t's, i's, and j's.

crossand.me

Who's Michael J. Fox's favorite author?

Shake-spear

Why doesn’t Bob Marley eat PB&J sandwiches?

Because he’s more of a jam man.

Michael J. Fox has contracted coronavirus

Contact tracing shows he got it from shaking hands

Teacher asked “What is the formula of water”? Student said “H I J K L M N O”. Teacher said “that’s not the first of water”

Student said “you said the formula was H to O”.

So I read J. K Rowlings announcments.

I finally understand how dumbledore got The title of headmaster.

Alan Dershowitz has defended O.J. Simpson, Jeffrey Epstein, and Donald Trump

The stabber, the nabber, and the grabber

There’s a fine line between H and J...

It’s called “I”

J: How do you think the unthinkable?

A: With an ithberg.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What’s the difference between me and Michael J. Fox?

When I furiously masturbate in front of a urinal, i get thrown out of the building

Vicar: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T man and wife V W X Y Z

Groom: Why did you say that?

Vicar: Because I now pronounce u 'man and wife'

A-B-C-D-E-F-G-H-I-J-K-phosphorus-Q-R-S-T-U-V-W-X-Y and Z.

"Umm.. Why did you say phosphorus?"

Because it is the ....EL-EM-ENT-AL P.

Man o.j simpson was a great football player

He killed it on and off the field

The cleaning lady at work asked if I wanted to smoke a J with her

I declined because I'm not interested in high maintenance women

A chemist walks into a bar and orders a Pb&J sandwich.

He dies of lead poisoning.

Genie: Okay what’s your last wish?

Me: I wish I had a tail.

Genje: Wejrd but okay.

What's J. K. Rowling's favourite side of a triangle?

The Harrypotenuse

Why did O.J. Simpson want to flee to Alabama?

Everybody there shares the same DNA.

(Mandatory ba dum tss).

What do Michael J. Fox and the new guy at the warehouse have in common?

Both have trouble with the fork lift

A quote of the President: Donald J. Trump

“I have broken more Elton John records. He seems to have a lot of records. And I, by the way, I don’t have a musical instrument. I don’t have a guitar or an organ. No organ. Elton has an organ. And lots of other people helping. No, we’ve broken a lot of records. We’ve broken virtually every record. ...

So j made a joke up

A master chef dies goes to heaven. Immediatly he finds himself in the kitchen doing what he loves. He begins cooking all the foood just like he did when he was alive. Finally he gets a strange order, a steak well done sprinkled with holy water. So he asks whats up with this order.

For Christs...

A B C D E F G, H I J K

LMNT of surprise!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What is the difference between Donald J. Trump and the Hindenberg?

One is an exploding Nazi gas bag, whose fiery crash and destruction played out on camera; the flaming doom marked the end, not just of itself, but for all that followed in it's line. Its blaze of failure permanently seared into the collective consciousness of humanity. A disaster that would be talke...

What is O.J. Simpson's favorite drink?

Margarita, but he swears he never wanted tequila.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The college teacher noticed that his exchange student, André, suddenly had started attracting a lot of female attention

So, one day he asks André about his secret. André replies: "Well, before sex I simply whip out my willy and smack it against the bedside table, like a hammer. It numbs it up and makes me last longer".

Later that day, the college teacher gets home to his wife and finds her in the shower - a we...

Michael J. Fox asked James Bond to come over for dinner one night.

Being a polite host, he offered Bond a drink when he arrived. "What'll ya have?" he asked.

"I'll have a Martini," Bond replied.

"How do you want it?" Michael J. Fox asked.

"Shaken, not stirred."

"Oh, thank God."

Why doesn’t Micheal J. Fox own an ice cream shop?

He can only sell shakes.

What is O.J. Simpson's internet address?

Slash slash backslash slash slash escape

I ap-p-p-p-lied for a j-job as a r-r-r-radio an-n-nouncer.

Sh-sh-shame on them, rej-jecting me because I'm b-b-b-black.

What's The Difference Between A Paint Shaker and Michael J. Fox?

A paint shaker works even if you let it keep its pills.

Me and Michael J Fox have a hand shake...

he must really like it because he keeps practicing it.

"You're not gonna get a quote out of me." - Donald J. Trump

"Wrong." - Donald J. Trump

What did the D.J. say to the Vegetable Farmer?

Lettuce turnip the beet.

A man goes into a job interview

A man goes into a job interview, and presents himself well.

The employer is shocked at how professional he is, "Wow, you have an incredible resume, and present yourself fantastically, but you seem to be missing 5 years on this part of your resume. What happened there?"

The man replied ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Michael J Fox is the next hollywood star accused of sexual assault.

His victim said "his hands were everywhere"

Michael J. Fox

Terrific at making martinis. Terrible at stealing tambourines.

Things Michael J. Fox would be good at

Grating Parmesan cheese.

T.J. Miller has brought his comedy to a whole new level

At least when it comes to bombing

What do you call Michael J. Fox spinning around in a chair?

A fidget spinner

J.R. Smith can't wait for the NBA Finals to end tonight...

He thinks Cleveland is up 3-1.

I just heard news that the inventor of the Heimlich Manuever, Henry J. Heimlich, just passed away at 96

I'm still choked up about it.

Buried Knife Found at O.J.'s Estate

Proof that black knives matter?

What kind of character does J-Roc wish was in Dragonball Z?

Gnome Saiyan

T.J. Miller and I have so much in common!

We're both not going to be in Deadpool 3

I told my GF that I'm jealous of her V-J. She shows me NO pity, though.

She just rubs it in my face

What does 'J' stand for in Donald J Trump?

'Genius'

(This joke was stolen from CharlieDarwin2)

I used to be a big fan of Michael J Fox...

...but his latest performances have been a little shaky.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did the Nazi refuse to drink the fresh squeezed o.j.?

Because he prefers his juice concentrated.

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