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What’s the difference between me and Michael J. Fox?

When I furiously masturbate in front of a urinal, i get thrown out of the building

Donald J Trump

Says Trump: " The J stands for genius."

Just saw Micheal J Fox in the local garden centre

At least I think it was him - he had his back to the fuchsias.

How does Micheal J Fox make a milkshake?

With only the finest ingredients.

Why did O.j Simpson fail as a baseball catcher

Because none of the teams gloves could fit

What's J. K. Rowling's favourite side of a triangle?

The Harrypotenuse

There’s a fine line between H and J...

It’s called “I”

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If Chinese music is called C-pop, Korean music is called K-pop, and Japanese music is called J-pop, what do you call Drake's music?


J_ffr_y _pst_in

Anyone wanna play hang man?

What's The Difference Between A Paint Shaker and Michael J. Fox?

A paint shaker works even if you let it keep its pills.

What is O.J. Simpson's favorite drink?

Margarita, but he swears he never wanted tequila.

Harry Potter Joke

Hagrid: "You're a unit of power, Harry."

Harry: "I'm a watt?"

So I read J. K Rowlings announcments.

I finally understand how dumbledore got The title of headmaster.

Why did O.J. Simpson want to flee to Alabama?

Everybody there shares the same DNA.

(Mandatory ba dum tss).

J.K. Rowling recently tweeted out that Hogwarts actually has a full gym for wizards to exercise and lift weights

The entrance is called the Dumbbell Door

What is O.J. Simpson's internet address?

Slash slash backslash slash slash escape

What do Michael J. Fox and the new guy at the warehouse have in common?

Both have trouble with the fork lift

Vicar: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T man and wife V W X Y Z

Groom: Why did you say that?

Vicar: Because I now pronounce u 'man and wife'

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A beautiful woman goes to a party.

While scanning the guests, she spots an attractive man standing alone.

She approaches him, smiles and says, "Hello. My name is Carmen."

"That’s a beautiful name," he replies. "Is it a family name?"

"No," she replies. "As a matter of fact I gave it to myself. It represents the t...

The cleaning lady at work asked if I wanted to smoke a J with her

I declined because I'm not interested in high maintenance women

Michael J. Fox

Terrific at making martinis. Terrible at stealing tambourines.

A B C D E F G, H I J K

LMNT of surprise!

Me and Michael J Fox have a hand shake...

he must really like it because he keeps practicing it.

T.J. Miller and I have so much in common!

We're both not going to be in Deadpool 3

I asked my chemist father for a PB and J sandwich

But all I got was lead poisoning

J.R. Smith can't wait for the NBA Finals to end tonight...

He thinks Cleveland is up 3-1.

What kind of character does J-Roc wish was in Dragonball Z?

Gnome Saiyan

T.J. Miller has brought his comedy to a whole new level

At least when it comes to bombing

J: How do you think the unthinkable?

A: With an ithberg.

So j made a joke up

A master chef dies goes to heaven. Immediatly he finds himself in the kitchen doing what he loves. He begins cooking all the foood just like he did when he was alive. Finally he gets a strange order, a steak well done sprinkled with holy water. So he asks whats up with this order.

For Christs...

"You're not gonna get a quote out of me." - Donald J. Trump

"Wrong." - Donald J. Trump

Things Michael J. Fox would be good at

Grating Parmesan cheese.

A man goes into a job interview

A man goes into a job interview, and presents himself well.

The employer is shocked at how professional he is, "Wow, you have an incredible resume, and present yourself fantastically, but you seem to be missing 5 years on this part of your resume. What happened there?"

The man replied ...

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Why did the Nazi refuse to drink the fresh squeezed o.j.?

Because he prefers his juice concentrated.

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Did you hear about the New York woman on the J train who woke up to find a bum urinating on her today?

Although upset, she was glad she didn't take the #2 train

I just heard news that the inventor of the Heimlich Manuever, Henry J. Heimlich, just passed away at 96

I'm still choked up about it.

The chemical name for water is H, I, J, K, L, M, N O.

H to O

Buried Knife Found at O.J.'s Estate

Proof that black knives matter?

What does 'J' stand for in Donald J Trump?


(This joke was stolen from CharlieDarwin2)

Good thing that Michael J. Fox doesn't also suffer from Hayfever.

He's married to Tracy Pollan.

Apparently O.J. Simpson is getting remarried

He decided to take another stab at it

Why dont you take Pb&J from a Scientist?

You'll get lead poisoning!

I carpool with Michael. J. Fox. Whenever he drives, I feel like royalty.

By royalty, I mean Princess Diana.

Do you think Michael J Fox....?

Do you think Michael J Fox ever gets an answer out of an 8-Ball?

If J.R.R. Tolkien and Samuel Beckett collaborated...

Would we get waiting for Frodo?

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No one is more excited for today than Michael J. Fox...

He's been shaking with anticipation for the last 25 years.

Where's Michael J. Fox's favorite place to eat?

Steak 'n Shake

I told my GF that I'm jealous of her V-J. She shows me NO pity, though.

She just rubs it in my face

Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle?

Nobody can.

"Anybody here named Jeff?"

Jeff: "Yes"

Geoff: "Yeos"

O. J. Simpson

When O. J. Simpson's kids wanted to go out and play, what did he tell them? "Go axe your mother."

I was at a urinal when I realized standing to my left was Muhammad Ali and to my right was Michael J. Fox...

bad day to wear sandals.

Did you hear the director planned to film two sequels simultaneously for the Michael J Fox 1980's time travel comedy?

He planned to make back-to-back back to the 'Back to the Future' future features!

TIL J. Cole robbed a bank and was never caught despite there being several witnesses

When police sketch artists asked witnesses for a description of the robber they said he had no features.

Sarah Palin and Donald Trump served PB&J sandwiches at his last political rally

because if you go to one of those, you're not allergic to nuts

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