haha Belgians dumb

The King of Belgian visits the King of the Netherlands and laments that the Dutch people always make fun of the Belgian people. "Can't you just do something rediculously stupid? That way we have something to make fun of you. Just make a bridge in the middle of the desert, that would be so dumb"
<...

My brother is so dumb he got fired from the Dollar store...

because he couldn't remember the prices

What state in India is most famous for Covid injection dumb jokes?

Punjab, of course.

Some Yank had the audacity to say us Texans were dumb for not having Snow Tires. Bless their heart.

We may not have as much experience as y'all Yanks when it comes to snow, but after tinkering with it a couple minutes I think all of us Texans can agree to try and make a tire out of snow is a pretty dumb idea.


We'll keep our tires made of rubber, thanks.

One day, a husband said to his wife, “I don’t know how you got to be so beautiful and so dumb at the same time.”

The wife responded, “Allow me to explain…”
“God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me. He made me dumb so I would be attracted to you.”

Dentist always dumb questions like “when’s the last time you flossed?”

Like bro you were there wtf

The dumb and deaf are better than the blind in the dating game.

They can read signs

Yo momma so dumb

She brought a spoon to the Super Bowl

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Three guys are having a few beers and talking about how dumb their wives are.

Guy1: My wife is so dumb she wants to spend $15,000 to redo the kitchen and she can't even cook.

Guy 2: That's nothing. My wife wants me to buy her a new $50,000 car and she can't even drive yet.

Guy 3: My wife is dumber that both of them. She bought 3 boxes of condoms to take on a bus...

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A Redditor told me “Yo momma’s so dumb that she doesn’t get most of the content on r/jokes.”

“Oh yeah?” I said, “well, yo momma’s so dumb that she doesn’t get *any* of the content on r/all.”

I wanted to come back with something original, but all I could muster was a shitty riposte.

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Nude blonde in a casino.

Two bored casino dealers were waiting at a craps table. A very attractive blonde woman arrived and bet $5,000.00 on a single roll of the dice.


She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude."
With that, she stripped from her neck down, rolled the...

A dumb billionaire walks into a bar and orders a pint. The female bartender notices how attractive he is and slips him her number on a tissue.

" Preposterous! I could get laid for this much!"

Click for a dumb blonde joke...

A town decides to host the biggest convention in history: a blonde convention.

Blondes from all over the world came to this event to meet some fellow blondes.

The plan was to prove for once and for all that the stereotype of blondes being dumb was a lie. So a big stage was set up in th...

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A Harvard Law graduate starts first day on the job

The president of the firm says, “If you marry my daughter, I’ll make you a partner, give you an unlimited expense account, a new Mercedes, and a million dollar annual salary, in addition to your fees from the cases you take on.”

The guy says, “I don’t get it. Is something wrong with her?" The...

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Keepers at a zoo realized that a lone female gorilla that was recently brought in for habitation was badly in heat.

Because of this the gorilla was acting very amorous with the keepers every time they tried to feed her. So they figured if she just had sex that she might calm down.

It was then they approached a rather dumb janitor and asked him if he'd like to have sex with the gorilla for $500.

The ...

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A young ventriloquist is touring Sweden and puts on a show in a small fishing town. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes.

Suddenly, a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting, "I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype Swedish blonde women that way? What does the color of a woman's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It’s men like y...

Dumb blond male.

There are three construction workers, a Mexican, an African American & a blond Caucasian. When lunch time comes, the construction workers are sitting on a steel beam 30 stories high about to enjoy their food.

The blond opens his lunchbox and is angered to find yet another bologna &...

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A young man is walking down the road carrying chicken wire

He passes by this old man’s house and the old man says, “Hey son, what are you doing with that chicken wire?” The young man says, “I’m going to catch me some chickens.” The old man laughs and says, “You can’t catch chickens with chicken wire.” So the young man keeps walking. But sure enough, later t...

What do you call a dumb gymnast?

A flippin idiot

99.9% of people are dumb

Fortunately, I belong to 1% of smart people

This is a really dumb joke but here it is. What do you call a person with no body and no nose

Nobody knows


Yeah this a really dumb joke plus I'm not that funny IK

Did you hear about the dumb cowboy that got a dachshund?

Someone told him “get along little doggie.”

One of my favorite dumb jokes to share with everyone for my first ever cake day!

What did 0 say to 8?


Nice belt!

A smart cop, a dumb cop and cinderella walk down the street and see a dropped coin on the ground. Who picks it up?

The dumb cop; because Cinderella and a smart cop exist only in stories.

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A dumb kid walks into an ice cream shop...

Kid: “I’ll have a scoop of vanilla and a scoop of chocolate please.”

Clerk: “Sorry kid, we're out of chocolate.”

Kid: “OK. Make it a scoop of strawberry and a scoop of chocolate.”

Clerk: “No, no, you don't understand, it’s *chocolate* we're out of,”

Kid: “Ah, OK. Then gim...

A religious man was thinking about how good his wife was to him, so he prayed to god to give thanks.

To the man’s astonishment, the booming voice of god spoke to him.

**Man:** God, I’m so grateful that you gave me my wife. If I may ask, my Lord, why did you make her so beautiful?

**God:** I made her so beautiful so that you could love her, my son.

**Man:** And why did you mak...

My wife asked me why I was yelling at the pot of water on the stove.

I said, water boils ~~faster~~ hotter under pressure.

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The Pope had become very ill and was taken to many doctors, all of whom could not figure out how to cure him

Finally, he was brought to an old physician. After about an hour’s examination he came out and told the cardinalsthat he had some good news and some bad news.

The bad news was that the Pope had a rare disorder of the testicles. The good news was that all the Pope had to do to be cured was ha...

Yo mama so dumb

She thought her indigestion was lactose intolerance living in the milky way.

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There was once a couple who were very, very dumb.

They used to listen to everything said to them without thinking any deeper.

After about a year after their marriage, a beautiful baby boy was born to them. They decided to baptize him and name him according to a very popular astrologer's idea. So they took him to the astrologer's sanctum
<...

What did the shirt say to the pants?

What up britches!





(At a photography studio today, taking an extended family picture with like 15 people there. This is what the photographer said to get us to smile. I couldn't stop laughing, and was beet red. We had to wait for me to calm down. I'm a middle age married ma...

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Little League Sportsmanship

At one point during a game, the coach called one of his 9-year-old baseball players aside and asked, 'Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?' The little boy nodded in the affirmative.

'Do you understand that what matters is whether we win or lose together as a team?' The litt...

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But Mickey, you can't divorce Mini just because you think she's dumb.

"I didn't say she was dumb. I said she was fucking Goofy!"

You’re so dumb you took an IQ test...

and got a letter grade

Think of how dumb the average person is

Then remember half the world are dumberer then that.

A man is walking his pet carrot

As he’s walking his pet carrot it gets hit by a car. After rushing to the ER the man paces the waiting room as the doctor comes out exhausted from surgery. “Doctor, is my carrot alive are they ok?” The doctors sighs. “I have good news and bad news. The good news is your pet carrot is alive” the man ...

After earning his DDS; a dentist went and opened up his own practice.

He became widely known for his amazing skills, and was highly praised + recommended by every patient he ever had. One year; he was nominated for (and won) a prestigious medical award. Inscribed upon its ornate surface was his name and the specific honor: “Global Recognition of Outstanding Surgical S...

[Dumb] What do you call someone who cuts pizza with a machete?

Chasin Fourcheese

Donald Trump and Mike Pence were talking when Trump. said, "I hate all the dumb jokes people tell about me."

Wise Old Pence, feeling sorry for his old boss, said sage-like, "Oh, they are only jokes. There are a lot of stupid people out there. Here, I'll prove it to you." Pence took Trump outside and hailed a taxi driver. "Please take me to Number One Observatory Circle in northwestern Washington to see if ...

What do you call a fish that is not smart, a dumb bass

Now laugh

Could anyone be so dumb as to brag about the capitol riots online, for all the world to see?

Jenny Cudd.

There once was a blonde woman who was tired of everyone making fun of her for being a “dumb blonde”.

There once was a blonde woman who was tired of everyone making fun of her for being a “dumb blonde”.

Having enough with the stereotype, she went to the hairdresser and had her hair dyed brunette.

On her way home, she was driving past a field full of sheep.

She got excited and s...

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Three colleagues are having a talk about how dumb their girlfriends are

The first one says: "My grilfriend is so dumb, she just spent $20.000 on a new kitchen, but she doesn't even know how to cook!"

The second one says: "My grilfriend is even dumber, she just spent $50.000 on a new car, but she doesn't even has a license!"

"Well," the third one says: "My ...

My sister is so dumb, she tells everyone she is bipolar

Because she is working at two different strip clubs.

A dumb one, ever for already low dad-joke expectations...

True story (makes this even more pathetic) that happened last night:

Wife: The fan is too high
Me: It's like that so we don't bump our heads

A dumb joke I thought of a couple weeks ago.

A truck carrying cows and a truck carrying cannabis get into a car accident. Neither party can agree on who’s fault the accident was, so they hire a detective. This is the detective’s first day on the job and his boss tells him, “If you can solve this case you get a promotion, however if you fail yo...

Dumb ornithology joke

Two crows are eating roadkill.
One says to the other, "Weird, I can't smell or taste a damn thing."
The other replies, "Get away from me! You probably have CORVID-19."

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Dick measuring contest

Kind of long


3 men, 1 white, 1 Mexican, and 1 black were standing on a 15 story building.

Mexican: hey let’s measure our dicks. Just throw yours down, and whoever’s makes it the most stories wins.

They all agree, and the white guy goes first. He unzips, throws his dick do...

A Dumb joke

What did the elephants say when they saw Tarzan coming up the hill ?
\-Nothing, because elephants can't talk .

Dumb and Dumber were fired from the M&Ms factory

Dumb and Dumber were fired from the M&Ms factory for tossing all the Ws!

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Caught myself talking to my cat and felt really dumb.

totally forgot that I'm pissed at him for forgetting my birthday.

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Another dumb joke my dad told me, it's probably old af but I find it funny so here it is

A man dies and goes to heaven. At the gates of heaven, Saint Peter is waiting for him. The man is shocked, as he had never believed in God.
He says to Saint Peter "Listen dude, I've made a terrible mistake by not believing in God. But ya see, I've been a real good person and have supported many r...

If you call your girlfriend dumb...

Can you say you are f*cking dumb?

What did the blind, deaf, and dumb orphan get for Christmas?

Cancer

If the Olympics ever added pinball...

I'd put my money on the Deaf, Dumb and Blind Kid.

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Don't Do It!

A slightly tipsy woman is watching TV and yells: "Don't go to the church you dumb bitch! Don't do it!"

Her husband askes: "What are you watching?"

She replies: "Our wedding video!"

One day, a shopkeeper put his dumb son incharge of his shop as he had to go out of town .

A customer comes in and asks, "Can I get a Tropicana Orange juice bottle?"

The son searches in the shop for sometime, sways his head and says, "No, we don't have a Tropicana Orange juice bottle."

That night, when the son tells this to his father, he angrily says, "Fool! We had minute m...

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Miracles CAN Occur! NSFW

There's a city with a fierce storm and the flood waters threaten to rise.

A devout man goes outside and prays, "Dear Lord, please save me from this flood!"

A bus rolls up to the man and says, "Get in! I'm taking you to safety!"

The man says, "No. God will provide for me." And t...

My Neighbor is so Dumb

I told her to get prepared because the Blizzard of 2020 is coming.

She started jumping up and down, laughing, and screaming with delight

I said, "Why are you so happy?"

She said, "I love it when Dairy Queen gets new items"

Action Composers

All the action heroes are at Stalone's house when their phones all go off. Their agents give them news about a new action movie focused on the great composers. After the call they are all talking about who they would like to play.

Stalone: I'm not going to be in it if I can't be Mozart....

Town idiot got fed up of how dumb he is and decided to off himself

He hikes up the mountain to jump off the ledge. He's finally 30 feet away from the ledge when he hears an old man's voice "What r u doing up here young man?

The guy turns around and tells him about how he's the town idiot and fed up with his own stupidity and how he can't take it anymore. The...

Remember before the New Year were were all worried about the dumb jokes that came with it?

Well hindsight is 2020

Dumb joke

What did the fish say when it hit the wall? Dam.

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I know this is dumb

A man walks into a bar and sees a really pretty woman and sits down next to her.

He says “Did you know Dick is short for Richard?”

Confused, she asks “How do you get Dick from Richard”

He responds “You ask politely”

Why are Americans so dumb?

Because they shoot the ones who go to school.

A group of blonde girls overhear a guy saying that all blondes are dumb

So one of the girls says: "no we're not, we'll prove it!"

The guy: "Ok what's 3 + 2?"

One of the blondes: "7"

After a short silence the rest of the blondes start asking for a second chance.

The guy: "ok you get a second chance, what's 2+4?"

One of the blondes: "6"<...

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Two poor friends once went for a job interview

One was a scholar, the other was dumb. They came up with an idea for both to get into the job.

"I have an idea. I'll try and be ahead in the line and after they ask me the questions I'll tell you the answer after I get out."

"Okay friend I'll forever be grateful of you."

The int...

Sometimes when I'm bored I put makeup and little wigs on marijuana cigarettes.

That might sound dumb to you, but I think it's pretty dope.

ur mamma soooooo dumb

she though that Starbucks was alien currency.

Scientists have recently discovered that 97% of the worlds population is kind of dumb.

Phew, thank god I'm part of the other 5%.

2 guys sitting in a bar watching the news.

A news story comes on about someone threatening to jump off a building. One guy turns to the other and says, " I'll bet you $500.00 he will jump". The other guy says, "You're on"!

A few minutes pass and the guy on TV jumps.

The loser of the bet says, " Well, here is your $500.00. I ...

*One never knows,,, A small boy named Arthur lived in the local village . None of his classmates liked him because of his stupidity, especially his teacher, who was always yelling at him "You are driving me crazy Arthur!!!!!"

One day Arthur's mother came into school to check on how he was doing. The teacher told his mother honestly, that her son is simply a disaster, getting very low marks and even she had never seen such a dumb boy in her entire teaching career!!!! The mother was shocked at the feedback and withdrew he...

A married couple is sleeping when the phone rings at 3 AM.

The wife picks up the phone and, after a few seconds, replies, “How am I supposed to know? We’re 200 miles inland!” and hangs up.


Her husband rolls over and asks, “Sweetheart, who was that?”

“I don’t know, some dumb b!tch asking if the coast is clear.”

So dumb it makes me laugh every time i hear it

me: knock knock

them: who's there

me: Dwayne

them: Dwayne who

me: dwayne the bathtub! i'm dwowning!

Bored at work so I wrote my first joke. It’s extremely dumb but maybe it’ll make someone laugh.

An extremely wealthy family owned countless successful companies, bought out competitors and even purchased new ventures if they looked promising enough. Nothing was too big or small, and nothing was off limits.

The family consisted of a mother (Linda), father (Robert) and 3 sons (Robert Jr.,...

The smart and the dumb

S:If I ask you a question,and you dont know the answer,you will have to give me 1 dollar,but if I dont know the answer to your question, i will have to give you 10 dollars,Okay?

D:Okay.

S:What is the thing called that is made of wood and we eat on it?

D:I dunno, here is your 1 d...

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience.

"Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents." Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?" "Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then for the rest of the game, ...

Schrodinger’s cat was meant to prove how dumb quantum states are, yet it’s widely used to advocate and explain it. I bet he’s rolling in his grave...

and not

Did You Know that Diareah Problems are Hereditary

It Runs In your Jeans

(Plz excuse any spelling errors if I made some. English is my first language Im just Dumb)

You can't argue with dumb people, change my mind

You can't argue with dumb people, change my mind

What's the difference between Smart Criminals and Dumb Criminals?

Dumb Criminals break laws



Smart Criminals make laws

A blind blond guy walks into a bar and yells out, "Hey! Do you all want to hear a dumb blonde joke?"

One of the patrons takes the guy aside and says, "Look, buddy. The bartender is blond. The 400-pound wrestler sitting near the window is blond. The armed police officer sitting at the bar is blond. The lawyer sitting at the back of the bar close to the washrooms is blond. The martial arts guy sittin...

Homemade and 100% organic

Since it's my cake day, I'll give y'all a joke that I created by myself. One that tickles me.

Two car salesman were talking to each other about their sales. They were really impressed with the commissions they were making with electric cars. Then, one of them asked, "Why doesn't Dodge sel...

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A guy starts making out with a dumb blonde

She starts feeling up his arms and says in sexy voice "Ooh! What do we have here? They're so big!"

Guy says "You like that baby? That's 50 pounds of dynamite."

She continues caressing his body and when she gets to his legs, she says in a sexy voice "Ooh! What do we have here? They're h...

Your mom is so dumb...

that she returned the donuts to Krispy Kreme because they had holes in them.

(5 year old nephew told me this)

There are three types of people in this world

The ones that can count
And the ones who can’t

(This is a dumb joke but ALOT of people don’t get it even after I explain it)

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Boy: The principal is so dumb!

Girl: Do you know who I am?

Boy: No...

Girl: I am the principal's daughter!

Boy: Do you know who I am?

Girl: No...

Boy: Good! *Walks away*

the story of jimmy the dumb student

there once was a boy named jimmy who studied in an elementary school in a small town in oklahoma,

this kid was so stupid he didn't understand anything at all, no one liked him, his teacher ms. dorothy always yelled at him: "jimmy you're gonna give me a heart attack!"

one day his mom c...

What did Charizard say when he saw Pikachu

Charizard

Your mama so dumb

She climbs over a glass wall to see what's on the other side.

A man asks God, 'why did you make women so beautiful?' God answers, "so you would love her." He then asks, 'but why did you make her so dumb?'

God replies, "so she would love you."

A Lesson in History

The king wanted to go fishing and he asked the royal weather forecaster the forecast for the next few hours. The palace meteorologist assured him that there was no chance of rain.

So the king and the queen went fishing. On the way they met a man with a fishing pole riding on a donkey, and the...

A blonde moves out to the country....

A blonde moves out to the countryside because she's tired of people in the city assuming she's dumb because of her hair color. She dyes her hair brown, packs up, and moves out. On her way to her new house she passes a shepherd with a herd of sheep. Eager to start her new life, she pulls over and pos...

Three guys sit in a bar complaining about their wives (copied joke)

The first guy says, "My wife is so dumb, she carries an automatic garage door opener in her car and she doesn't have a garage door."

The second guy says, "My wife is so dumb, she listens to an iPod and she doesn't have any earphones."

The third guy says, "My wife is so dumb, she carrie...

A dumb man is seated next to the world chess champion in a flight.

And the world champion asks the dumb fellow if he’d like to play a game of chess to pass the time.

The dumb fellow politely denies saying he can’t compete with a world champion.

The world master insists. But the guy refuses.

The world master proposes to level the field by promis...

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