My wife and I had this long pointless argument as to which vowel is the most important.

I won.

Why is O the noisiest of the vowels?

Because all the rest are inaudible.

British English has only three vowels : A, I , O.

They have left E.U.

Yesterday, my friend and I got into an argument over which vowel was the best

I won.

I fell in love with a girl who only knew four vowels

She didn't know I existed

A vowel saves another vowel’s life.

The other vowel thanks him, saying, “Aye E! I owe you!”

Recently I wrote ‘blender’ with the wrong vowel

It was a blunder

I once met a guy who was convinced that there were no word in the English language with more syllables than vowels.

I tried to explain to him that he was wrong, but he refuses to accept criticism.

Just found out I have irritable vowel syndrome...

Every time “U” tell me “I” have to do something it irritates the $h*t out of me.

28 consonants, 3 vowels, a question mark and 1 comma went to court.

They're awaiting their sentence.

"Mozambique" has all vowel letters...

But "y" (?)

Is there a word that contains all the vowels, including Y?

Unquestionably.

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What's a 6-letter word that starts with the letter “n”, has 2 vowels in it, the letter "r" in it, and perfectly describes black people?

Normal.

The word “you” is made up entirely of vowels.

Yeah it’s not a joke, but when I tried to upload it to r/showerthoughts, I was told that wordplay wasn’t accepted. So here we are.

I was really happy when I discovered a word with all five vowels.

It was euphoria.

Vowels, who borrowed 50 bucks from preposition 5 months ago goes back to return it.

But because of some reason preposition couldn't remember anything about it and asks what this is about. Vowels exclaimed- "Ae! I owe you!"

We lost all the vowels from our Scrabble set.

So I sold it on Ebay as a Welsh edition.

My friend is running around trying to get rid of silent vowels

but I say it's a waste of Tim.

Why is "o" the noisiest vowel?

All the others are in audible.

I always thought it was vowel movement instead of bowel movement...

Which kind of makes sense if you think about it...

You’re on the toilet going Aaaaa.... Eeeee.... Iiiiii.... Oooooo.... Uuuuu...

And sometimes WHY?!?!

"There were a load of vowels chasing me home. I checked behind me and they were catching up on me, and they looked really angry, like they wanted to hurt me. I didn't know what to do, dad," said my son.

I said, "OK...Summarize..."


He said, "Yeah, but not many."

What do you get when you take the vowels out of Reince Priebus' name?

RNC PR BS

I've lost all control of my vowels...

Now I'm completely in consonant.

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All the vowels are having a masturbation contest.

They're trying to prove who would last the longest in bed, so they decide to start by seeing who can last the longest by themselves.

As they start, A finished within minutes, closely followed by O. Several more minutes pass, and U cant hold it any longer, climaxing. Y, deciding they didnt ide...

We had to rush my father to the hospital, because -- h cld nly tlk lk ths.

Apparently he had a vowel obstruction.

"Bananas" and "synonymous" have the same amount of Ns and vowels

They're ... basically the same.

I ate a huge can of alphabet soup for dinner last night

This morning I had the biggest vowel movement of my life

What do you call a duck that steals the letters A, E, I, O, and U?

A foul vowel fowl.

People claim that in the English language, y can be a vowel

but I think that's just a myth

I ate an expired can of alphabet soup...

Now I have severe cramps in my vowels and I've been in-consonant all day

First they came for the paragraphs. Then they came for the sentences. Then they came for the vowels.

nd thn thy cm fr m

Told my wife that the doctor thinks I have irritable vowel syndrome. She said, "I think you mean 'bowel'."

I said, "Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyybeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee."

Why couldn't Albert Einstein's dad teach him about vowels?

Cuz he didn't want to pay him when he said A.E.I.O.U.

erielf, erilef, reilef, relief

I got relief through a vowel movement.

I've accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles.

My next vowel movement could spell disaster.

Finally Wheel of Fortune is modernizing to reach more millennials with new rules.

Instead of buying a vowel they have to rent it.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

a list of puns!

Here's a list of puns I've been collecting:

How do you throw a space party? You planet.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

Nope. Unintended.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention, but everyone was blow away by the leaf blower.

A scarecrow says,...

Did you hear about the man who was cursing at the doctors office?

He was diagnosed with iratable Vowel syndrome.

I looked longingly into my beloved's eyes and whispered, "A, E, I, O, U...and sometimes, Y."

The priest then turned to her. "And has the bride prepared any wedding vowels?"

Why did the spelling bee champion go to the doctor?

Irregular vowel movements

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call it when a poop makes you groan like, "Aaaaaaeeeeeeeeeooooo!"

A vowel movement.

I'll see myself out.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why can't I get a girlfriend?

The only difference between guys who have a girlfriend and me, is a vowel.
They are 'fit as fuck' and I'm 'fat as fuck'.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I write best while taking a shit.

It induces good Vowel movement.

My friend and I were talking yesterday and

## he asked me if I sometimes randomly recited the English vowels. I replied, "Sometimes, why?".

I just ate a scrabble set

Now I'm having consonant vowel movements

Who called it screaming?

And not Irritable Vowel Syndrome

Where do Viking warrior scrabble champions go when they die?

Vowel-halla

“Doc, I’m no longer constopetid!”

Doctor: Do you mean constipated?

Man: No, I had a vowel movement.

What happens when you eat too many Spaghettio's?

You have a vowel movement.

Why did the alphabet smell so bad after its letters were rearranged?

Because it had a vowel movement.

I ate too much alphabet soup and became consonated.

I was better after I evacuated my vowels.

My doctor said I was inconsonant

Sure enough, I just had a vowel evacuation

Guy goes to the doctor and says, " I cnat siht!"

The doctor says, "Clearly, you are having problems with vowel movements."

My mother-in-law frequently yells out a, e, i, o u and sometimes y very nastily.

I asked her why and she says she can't help it. She has irritable vowel syndrome.

I love u

it's my favourite vowel

life with a daughter

SCENE: My teenage daughter and me in the car.

Lauren: Dad, do you know what the most commonly used letter in a girl’s name is?

Me: Hmm, is it a consonant or a vowel? (Silence.) Please tell me you know what consonants and vowels are.

Lauren: You’re no fun, Dad. Forget it.

...

What's it called when you're really annoyed by A, E, I, O, AND U?

Irritable Vowel Syndrome.

I got food poisoning from a can of Spaghetti-O’s....

It was the most painful vowel movement of my life.

I pleaded to my doctor, “I feel constepatid!!” Chuckling, he replied, “I think you mean constipated.”

I said, “No, I just had a vowel movement!"

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