I once met a guy who was convinced that there were no word in the English language with more syllables than vowels.

I tried to explain to him that he was wrong, but he refuses to accept criticism.

British English has only three vowels : A, I , O.

They have left E.U.

A vowel saves another vowel’s life.

The other vowel thanks him, saying, “Aye E! I owe you!”

I fell in love with a girl who only knew four vowels

She didn't know I existed

Vowels, who borrowed 50 bucks from preposition 5 months ago goes back to return it.

But because of some reason preposition couldn't remember anything about it and asks what this is about. Vowels exclaimed- "Ae! I owe you!"

My wife and I had an argument as to which is the most important vowel.

I won.

Recently I wrote ‘blender’ with the wrong vowel

It was a blunder

I was really happy when I discovered a word with all five vowels.

It was euphoria.

28 consonants, 3 vowels, a question mark and 1 comma went to court.

They're awaiting their sentence.

Is there a word that contains all the vowels, including Y?

Unquestionably.

The word “you” is made up entirely of vowels.

Yeah it’s not a joke, but when I tried to upload it to r/showerthoughts, I was told that wordplay wasn’t accepted. So here we are.

I ate an expired can of alphabet soup...

Now I have severe cramps in my vowels and I've been in-consonant all day

I always thought it was vowel movement instead of bowel movement...

Which kind of makes sense if you think about it...

You’re on the toilet going Aaaaa.... Eeeee.... Iiiiii.... Oooooo.... Uuuuu...

And sometimes WHY?!?!

erielf, erilef, reilef, relief

I got relief through a vowel movement.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's a 6-letter word that starts with the letter “n”, has 2 vowels in it, the letter "r" in it, and perfectly describes black people?

Normal.

How does Whitney Houston List the Vowels?

A

E

O

U

And IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

All the vowels are having a masturbation contest.

They're trying to prove who would last the longest in bed, so they decide to start by seeing who can last the longest by themselves.

As they start, A finished within minutes, closely followed by O. Several more minutes pass, and U cant hold it any longer, climaxing. Y, deciding they didnt ide...

I hate people who complain about hard vowel sounds.

They’re all a bunch of soft-e’s.

We lost all the vowels from our Scrabble set.

So I sold it on Ebay as a Welsh edition.

My friend is running around trying to get rid of silent vowels

but I say it's a waste of Tim.

Why is "o" the noisiest vowel?

All the others are in audible.

Yoda’s short, talks funny, has a name that ends in a vowel, and lived in a system with “dago” in the title.

It’s pretty clear he was Italian.

"There were a load of vowels chasing me home. I checked behind me and they were catching up on me, and they looked really angry, like they wanted to hurt me. I didn't know what to do, dad," said my son.

I said, "OK...Summarize..."


He said, "Yeah, but not many."

I've accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles.

My next vowel movement could spell disaster.

What do you get when you take the vowels out of Reince Priebus' name?

RNC PR BS

Finally Wheel of Fortune is modernizing to reach more millennials with new rules.

Instead of buying a vowel they have to rent it.

I've lost all control of my vowels...

Now I'm completely in consonant.

People claim that in the English language, y can be a vowel

but I think that's just a myth

What do you call a protest consisting of the letters A, E, I, O, U and sometimes Y?

A vowel movement

Me and my mate have just been fighting over which is the best vowel.

I won.

First they came for the paragraphs. Then they came for the sentences. Then they came for the vowels.

nd thn thy cm fr m

"Bananas" and "synonymous" have the same amount of Ns and vowels

They're ... basically the same.

I looked longingly into my beloved's eyes and whispered, "A, E, I, O, U...and sometimes, Y."

The priest then turned to her. "And has the bride prepared any wedding vowels?"

Told my wife that the doctor thinks I have irritable vowel syndrome. She said, "I think you mean 'bowel'."

I said, "Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyybeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee."

Did you hear about the man who was cursing at the doctors office?

He was diagnosed with iratable Vowel syndrome.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

a list of puns!

Here's a list of puns I've been collecting:

How do you throw a space party? You planet.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

Nope. Unintended.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention, but everyone was blow away by the leaf blower.

A scarecrow says,...

Why did the spelling bee champion go to the doctor?

Irregular vowel movements

I ate five cans of alphabet soup yesterday.

Then, I easily had the biggest vowel movement ever.

I just ate a scrabble set

Now I'm having consonant vowel movements

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call it when a poop makes you groan like, "Aaaaaaeeeeeeeeeooooo!"

A vowel movement.

I'll see myself out.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why can't I get a girlfriend?

The only difference between guys who have a girlfriend and me, is a vowel.
They are 'fit as fuck' and I'm 'fat as fuck'.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I write best while taking a shit.

It induces good Vowel movement.

My friend and I were talking yesterday and

## he asked me if I sometimes randomly recited the English vowels. I replied, "Sometimes, why?".

Who called it screaming?

And not Irritable Vowel Syndrome

Where do Viking warrior scrabble champions go when they die?

Vowel-halla

Why did the alphabet smell so bad after its letters were rearranged?

Because it had a vowel movement.

Somebody screams because they have pains in their stomach

You could say they have irritable vowel syndrom

What happens when you eat too many Spaghettio's?

You have a vowel movement.

My doctor said I was inconsonant

Sure enough, I just had a vowel evacuation

My mother-in-law frequently yells out a, e, i, o u and sometimes y very nastily.

I asked her why and she says she can't help it. She has irritable vowel syndrome.

What's it called when you're really annoyed by A, E, I, O, AND U?

Irritable Vowel Syndrome.

I ate too much alphabet soup and became consonated.

I was better after I evacuated my vowels.

Guy goes to the doctor and says, " I cnat siht!"

The doctor says, "Clearly, you are having problems with vowel movements."

life with a daughter

SCENE: My teenage daughter and me in the car.

Lauren: Dad, do you know what the most commonly used letter in a girl’s name is?

Me: Hmm, is it a consonant or a vowel? (Silence.) Please tell me you know what consonants and vowels are.

Lauren: You’re no fun, Dad. Forget it.

...

I pleaded to my doctor, “I feel constepatid!!” Chuckling, he replied, “I think you mean constipated.”

I said, “No, I just had a vowel movement!"

I got food poisoning from a can of Spaghetti-O’s....

It was the most painful vowel movement of my life.

I love u

it's my favourite vowel

“Doc, thanks to you, I’m no longer constopetid!!”

Doctor: You mean constipated, right?

Man: No, I’ve had a vowel movement.

Merriam-Webster have announced they are changing the alphabet so it begins AEIOU and then has the consonants after.

Now that's what I call a vowel movement.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.