Vowel Jokes - 71 Hilarious Vowel Jokes

My wife and I had this long pointless argument as to which vowel is the most important.

I won.

Why do the vowels refuse to acknowledge their sixth member?

They don't know why

I was really happy when I discovered a word with all five vowels.

It was euphoria.

I once fell in love with a girl that only knew 4 vowels

Unfortunately she didn't know I existed.

What do you call a word with loose vowels?

Inconsonant

"When I eat alphabet soup, I only eat..."

the vowels."

Friend: "Why?"

Me: "Sometimes."

What's the difference between learning vowels and learning computer science?

When learning vowels, it's only sometimes "why?"

British English has only three vowels : A, I , O.

They have left E.U.

I once met a guy who was convinced that there were no word in the English language with more syllables than vowels.

I tried to explain to him that he was wrong, but he refuses to accept criticism.

A vowel saves another vowel’s life.

The other vowel thanks him, saying, “Aye E! I owe you!”

Recently I wrote ‘blender’ with the wrong vowel

It was a blunder

Why is O the noisiest of the vowels?

Because all the rest are inaudible.

"Mozambique" has all vowel letters...

But "y" (?)

Just found out I have irritable vowel syndrome...

Every time “U” tell me “I” have to do something it irritates the $h*t out of me.

What did the y say in the final stand off during the Battle of the vowels of and Consontants?

‘We’re not so different, u and I’

The word “you” is made up entirely of vowels.

Yeah it’s not a joke, but when I tried to upload it to r/showerthoughts, I was told that wordplay wasn’t accepted. So here we are.

Why is "o" the noisiest vowel?

All the others are in audible.

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All the vowels are having a masturbation contest.

They're trying to prove who would last the longest in bed, so they decide to start by seeing who can last the longest by themselves. As they start, A finished within minutes, closely followed by O. Several more minutes pass, and U cant hold it any longer, climaxing. Y, deciding they didnt identify a...

I always thought it was vowel movement instead of bowel movement...

Which kind of makes sense if you think about it...

You’re on the toilet going Aaaaa.... Eeeee.... Iiiiii.... Oooooo.... Uuuuu...

And sometimes WHY?!?!

I've lost all control of my vowels...

Now I'm completely in consonant.

We lost all the vowels from our Scrabble set.

So I sold it on Ebay as a Welsh edition.

I ate five cans of alphabet soup earlier.

Just had the biggest vowel movement ever.

Is there a word that contains all the vowels, including Y?

Unquestionably.

28 consonants, 3 vowels, a question mark and 1 comma went to court

They're awaiting their sentence

Yesterday, my friend and I got into an argument over which vowel was the best

I won.

Vowels, who borrowed 50 bucks from preposition 5 months ago goes back to return it.

But because of some reason preposition couldn't remember anything about it and asks what this is about. Vowels exclaimed- "Ae! I owe you!"

People claim that in the English language, y can be a vowel

but I think that's just a myth

My friend is running around trying to get rid of silent vowels

but I say it's a waste of Tim.

Why couldn't Albert Einstein's dad teach him about vowels?

Cuz he didn't want to pay him when he said A.E.I.O.U.

What do you get when you take the vowels out of Reince Priebus' name?

RNC PR BS

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What does it take to change the po po...

...into poop?

A vowel movement.

My first contribution! Yay, me.

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What's a 6-letter word that starts with the letter “n”, has 2 vowels in it, the letter "r" in it, and perfectly describes black people?

Normal.

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A list of puns

Here's a list of puns I've been collecting:

How do you throw a space party? You planet.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

Nope. Unintended.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention, but everyone was blow away by the leaf blower.

A scarecrow says,...

"Bananas" and "synonymous" have the same amount of Ns and vowels

They're ... basically the same.

Told my wife that the doctor thinks I have irritable vowel syndrome. She said, "I think you mean 'bowel'."

I said, "Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyybeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee."

First they came for the paragraphs. Then they came for the sentences. Then they came for the vowels.

nd thn thy cm fr m

Guy goes to the doctor and says, " I cnat siht!"

The doctor says, "Clearly, you are having problems with vowel movements."

I accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles

Now I'm experiencing constant vowel movements. My next trip to the bathroom could spell DISASTER.

Wuold yuo liek to haer a joek?

Sorry, I've been having irregular vowel movements.

We had to rush my father to the hospital, because -- h cld nly tlk lk ths.

Apparently he had a vowel obstruction.

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A guy joins a monastery

A guy goes to join a monastery while he's waiting for the monastery to accept him and his vowels of silence he's allowed to ask things about what they do at the monastery.

They guy feeling a little on the horny side one day pulls a monk to the side and asks him quietly what to do when he's g...

I ate an expired can of alphabet soup...

Now I have severe cramps in my vowels and I've been in-consonant all day

What do you call a duck that steals the letters A, E, I, O, and U?

A foul vowel fowl.

The “A” went to the bathroom and come out an “E”.

It must have had a vowel movement.

What happened to the writer who could only write with consonants

He was disemvoweled

What's the best thing about playing Wordle on the toilet?

You can eliminate vowels and your bowels at the same time.

LPT: Speak any modern Western language

Every modern Western language is based on six vowel sounds. Knowing where to put them, when, how, and why allows you to be conversational easily. Learn what they are, learn where to put them. Don't panic, drink fluids, relax.

Meaning the easiest way to be conversationally fluent is to being g...

I looked longingly into my beloved's eyes and whispered, "A, E, I, O, U...and sometimes, Y."

The priest then turned to her. "And has the bride prepared any wedding vowels?"

I hope this isn't a repost, I came up with it on my own but it seems like it should be a thing already

My friend (I call him E) and I went to a competition for our children a few months ago on who could name the most vowels. He gave me five dollars to go get a drink. Now when I walk my daughter to school, I see him and always remember that I owe him money. So, I call out, "Hey! E! I owe you!" For som...

Finally Wheel of Fortune is modernizing to reach more millennials with new rules.

Instead of buying a vowel they have to rent it.

erielf, erilef, reilef, relief

I got relief through a vowel movement.

life with a daughter

SCENE: My teenage daughter and me in the car.

Lauren: Dad, do you know what the most commonly used letter in a girl’s name is?

Me: Hmm, is it a consonant or a vowel? (Silence.) Please tell me you know what consonants and vowels are.

Lauren: You’re no fun, Dad. Forget it.

...

I just ate a scrabble set

Now I'm having consonant vowel movements

"There were a load of vowels chasing me home. I checked behind me and they were catching up on me, and they looked really angry, like they wanted to hurt me. I didn't know what to do, dad," said my son.

I said, "OK...Summarize..."

He said, "Yeah, but not many."

Why did the spelling bee champion go to the doctor?

Irregular vowel movements

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What do you call it when a poop makes you groan like, "Aaaaaaeeeeeeeeeooooo!"

A vowel movement.

I'll see myself out.

Wheel of Fortune

Me: I'd like to buy a vowel
Pat: Aren't you a millennial?
Me: *sigh* I'd like to rent a vowel

Did you hear about the man who was cursing at the doctors office?

He was diagnosed with iratable Vowel syndrome.

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I write best while taking a shit.

It induces good Vowel movement.

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Why can't I get a girlfriend?

The only difference between guys who have a girlfriend and me, is a vowel.
They are 'fit as fuck' and I'm 'fat as fuck'.

Where do Viking warrior scrabble champions go when they die?

Vowel-halla

Who called it screaming?

And not Irritable Vowel Syndrome

“Doc, I’m no longer constopetid!”

Doctor: Do you mean constipated?

Man: No, I had a vowel movement.

Why did the alphabet smell so bad after its letters were rearranged?

Because it had a vowel movement.

My friend and I were talking yesterday and

## he asked me if I sometimes randomly recited the English vowels. I replied, "Sometimes, why?".

Doctor told me I was inconsonant.....

Sure enough, I've just had a vowel evacuation

I pleaded to my doctor, “I feel constepatid!!” Chuckling, he replied, “I think you mean constipated.”

I said, “No, I just had a vowel movement!"

What's it called when you're really annoyed by A, E, I, O, AND U?

Irritable Vowel Syndrome.

My mother-in-law frequently yells out a, e, i, o u and sometimes y very nastily.

I asked her why and she says she can't help it. She has irritable vowel syndrome.

Merriam-Webster have announced they are changing the alphabet so it begins AEIOU and then has the consonants after.

Now that's what I call a vowel movement.

I got food poisoning from a can of Spaghetti-O’s....

It was the most painful vowel movement of my life.

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