UPJOKE
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Why are the Russian forces in Ukraine using the symbol "Z"?

Because the other half of the swastika fell off due to poor Russian maintenance.

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There's boomers, millennials then GenZ so what's the next generation going to be?

Fucked.

Why is the Z the only politically-correct letter?

Because all the other letters are not-Z's.

Why did Russia choose “Z” as their pro-war logo?

Because everyone who doesn’t agree with Putin is a “not-Z”!

Russian Z-tanks go....

zzzzzzzzzzz......

The letters I, Z, R and E walked into a bar.

The result was bizarre.

My son asked me, "Dad, what does the Z stand for on Russian tanks?"

"Well son", I said, "You've heard of Plan A and when that fails, you go to a Plan B?"

"They're on Plan Z already."

Why do the Russians paint Z on everything?

Why do the Russians paint Z on everything?
Because the swastika was already taken.

What if all those Z signs we've seen are Russians trying to undo the past month?

but they can't because they have no control

Why does Russian tanks have Z sign?

Because most of the dead crews are below 20

I'm going to tell my Gen Z friend a joke about Social Security...

...but he probably won't get it.

I think the Russian invasion of Ukraine was caused by a translation error.

The Russian military invading Ukraine all have Z's, and the Ukrainians fighting back are the "Not Z's".

Does Forrest Gump belong to Gen X, Gen Y, or Gen Z?

Nope. He belongs to Gen A.

What did Jay Z call Beyonce before they were married ?

Feyonce.

English to become the official European language

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. 

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement an...

What does Gen Z have in common with the Greatest Generation?

They consider it a great achievement if they survive childhood without getting shot.

A Gen Z kid and a boomer walk into a bar

They sit down and the Gen Z kid orders from the gluten free vegan menu and the boomer orders a T-Bone steak.

They start chatting and the Gen Z kid says that social justice issues are the biggest problem facing the world, and that the white supremacist patriarchy is a plague on society. ...

In 2007, a young girl Zimbabwean girl asked her parents for Z$20.00.

Her mom responded "Z$30.00? What do you need Z$50.00 for?"

Why did the Ukrainian fall asleep?

He wanted to catch some Z’s

If x=y and y=z, then x=z.

Applying the same logic.

If all men are pigs.
And Men and women are equal.

Then all women are pigs.

Why would gen z make bad astronauts?

In space no one can hear you meme

How many Dragon Ball Z characters does it take to change a lightbulb?

Only one but it takes 15 episodes.

What is the flower name of Jay-Z?

Day-Z :)

What is La-Z-Boy's actual name?

Rick Liner

I went to the zoo the other day

I went to the zoo the other day with my buddy Zane (I call him Z for short), and his favorite exhibit is the monkeys, so we wander over there straight away. When we get there he notices this monkey wandering around the exhibit making out with every other kind of monkey in there. He asks me “hey man,...

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My dick is so long if I laid it on the keyboard it would stretch all the way from A to Z

Wait... Shit...

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My dick is so big...

When I lay it across the keyboard it stretches all the way from A to Z!

The letters in the English alphabet go to the beach (don't ask me why). Every letter gets sunburned except W, X, Y and Z. Why?

They had UV protection in front.

I really shouldn't have hit ctrl+z

It seemed like a good idea at the time, but it turned out to be my undoing

Have you seen the new Russian battle flag?

It's a white Z on a white background.

what did the white woman say to the other white woman who confused jay-z for lil wayne?

thats ludacris

Generation Z is best known for being hard-working

...within the Minecraft community.

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Nobody in gen Z is a virgin

Covid has fucked that whole generation.

What is Kim Jong Un’s rapper name?

Run-D.M.Z.

The Czech at the optometrist

The optometrist shows him the usual table, you know the kind, with the C Z R N H K...

"Can you read this?"

"Read? This moocher still owes me 50 bucks!"

A kindergartner asks to use the bathroom

Teacher: “sing the ABC’s, then I’ll let you go”

Kindergartner: “A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O Q R S T U V W X Y Z”

Teacher: “Where’s the P?”

Kindergartner: “It’s running down my pants!”

What does the far-right have in common with the first 25 letters of the alphabet?

They are all not z's.

After Generation Z, the next generation should be called generation AA

It would fit even better because they will be the generation to grow up with batteries inside everything.

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What would Hitler’s invasion of Czechoslovakia be called if it was done by Gen Z’s?

Vibe Czech

I wanted to change my name to Dragon Ball Z...

My friend said, "Wow, that's a lot of papers you have to fill out!"
I said "Yeah, this isn't even my final form!"

The first four letters of the alphabet are the hardest.

The rest are e-z.

How do you calculate the volume of a pizza with radius Z and height A?

Pi * Z * Z * A

Frieza from Dragon Ball Z gets a job as a medical receptionist

After a long day of fighting Vegeta comes into the Dr’s office to get some wounds looked at. As a new patient, Frieza directs him to fill out a hefty stack of new patient paperwork.

After some time, Vegeta brings his finished paperwork to Frieza only to be handed another stack of paperwork. ...

To what party was ‘Z’ not invited?

The Not-Z Party

Gen Z should change their name to...

quaranteens.

Jay-Z is Unable to Locate His Mobile Phone.

He says "Beyonce, have you seen my phone anywhere?"

She says "Did you try call it?"

He says "Yeah but it's on silent."

She says "If you like it then you should have put a ring on it."

A-B-C-D-E-F-G-H-I-J-K-phosphorus-Q-R-S-T-U-V-W-X-Y and Z.

"Umm.. Why did you say phosphorus?"

Because it is the ....EL-EM-ENT-AL P.

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My dick is so big that if I laid it out on a keyboard, it would go from A to Z.

Wait, shit.

In Flint, Michigan, students have no difficulty learning A — G and P — Z.

The problem’s H to O.

Who would have Jay-Z married if he was a sailor?

Buoyancy.

Coronavirus is all Gen Z’s fault

They wanted everything to go viral, now look what’s happened.

Who’s a sloth’s favorite rapper?

Lay-Z

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Are anti-fascists Z’s?

Because everyone’s telling me that fascists are Nazis

License

An immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license. First, of course, he had to take an eye test. The optician showed him a card with the letters, "C-Z-W-I-X-N-O-S-T-A-C-Z." "Can you read this?" the optician asked. "Read it?" the guy replied, "I know the guy."

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The other day, my friend told me his penis was so big that it went from A to Z.

I told him to stop putting his dick on his keyboard or I'm never fixing his computer again.

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Do y'know there's Dragon Ball Z smut?

Kamehameha Sutra

I have an amazing joke about Dragon Ball Z.

Find out tomorrow on R/jokes!

What'd the Gen Z-er say to the spice shop owner who claimed to have the largest spice plants of anyone around?

I'm here for a good thyme not a long thyme

A horse walks into a bar and says, “On a right-angled triangle with sides X, Y and Z, if X and Z are perpendicular, which side is opposite the right angle?”

The bartender says, “Y, long face.”

How do you ground a gen z?

Make them go outside and socialize.

What did Jay-Z say when Beyonce released Lemonade?

I got 100 problems.

Girl, are you the secant of angle Z?

Cuz you sure are sec(Z)

Service call

My husband works as a service technician for a large exterminating company.

One of the rules of the company is that he has to confirm each appointment by phone the night before his service call to that household.

One evening he made such a call, and when a man answered the phone, he sa...

What did the Gen Z baker yell when he tossed the dough?

YEEST

What did Jay Z say when his friend died?

No Biggie.

A z-score of 1.9 walked into a bar

The bartender says, “Why so down today?”


The score replies, “I’m feeling so insignificant.”

Getting real sick of all the Dragon Ball Z references...

Just Saiyan...

How many 'Dragonball Z' characters does it take to change a lightbulb?

All of them-over a six episode arc.



But Goku is the one to screw it in after mastering transformation into a Super Sayin Electrician.

Jay Z walks into a game store...

There's an old guy behind the counter. Jay walks up to him and says "I need a Nintendo Switch. I been looking all over town for one, and I swear I'm gonna punch the next person who says they don't got one"

The old guy is like "Well... we do trade old consoles that need repairing. Maybe we can...

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They're coming out with a Dragon Ball Z for old people.

It's called Draggin' Balls Z

I read that the Icelandic alphabet doesn't have a 'Z' in it.

How do the people there sleep at night?

Michael Jackson did a moonwalk. What does Jay-Z do?

Jay-walks of course

Why can't Z generationers swim?

Their phones would get wet.

What's the difference between a Dragon Ball Z episode and a Markiplier video?

A *Dragon Ball Z* episode doesn't have as much screaming

Z used to be at the front of the alphabet

But as we all know, a threw z.

Most people would say that Eminem, Jay-Z, or Andre 3000 spit the hardest on the mic...

I personally think it was Mia Khalifa.

Some people say that Frieza was the best character in Dragon Ball Z, but...

I think his brother was cooler.

What comes after Z?

A question mark.

What kind of character does J-Roc wish was in Dragonball Z?

Gnome Saiyan

A boomer, a millennial, and a Gen Z kid walk into a bar

They sit down at a table and order a bottle of whiskey. The boomer pours a tall glass for himself and says, "There ain't no social security left, so I'm pouring myself a big glass of whiskey!" Then, the millennial grabs the bottle an pours a medium sized glass and says, "I've got $100,000 in student...

Ted Cruz, according to the news, IS planning THat Either cruZ Or his aDminIstrAtion will be Compiling their documents to maKe a IntegraL poLitical announcemEnt this afteRnoon

[hope you can decrypt it]

[using Ouija board] "yo Brad, can you hear us?"

[Brad responding...]


*W*

*W*

*A*

*A*

*A*

*A*

*A*

*A*

*Z*

*Z*

*Z*

...
#
“this is gonna take a while, Brad died in 1999.”

Magicians . Z z z

I watched a Spanish magician's act the other day. he was pretty good throughout but the finale was stunning. he stood in the middle of the stage, waved his arms, counted out "uno, dos..." and then vanished without a tres.

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