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Probability Jokes

Probability theory

Probability theory is probably the least understood area by the general population (except for certain gamblers). As a simple example, consider the History Professor friend of mine who was scared of flying and asked me one day: "What is the probability that there will be a bomb on an airplane?" I re...

While testing a newly installed computer, an Army officer asked the machine to predict the probability of World War Three and promptly received a one-word answer: "Yes."

Annoyed at the lack of detail, the officer
barked, "Yes, what?" Instantly the machine
replied, "Yes, sir!"

Controlling probability is the best super power

And I think there's a big chance that you'll agree

My classmate didn't study for our test in mathematics about probability.

"I'll take my chances", he said.

A class is learning about probability..

Teacher: If I toss a penny, what are the chances that I get a head?

Girl: For a penny? Not very bright.

What do the Royal Family and Probability math equations have in common?

They are not important and nobody cares about them.

What has the probability of one in five million?

Blonde: But there's no 1 in 5000000. Only a five and six zeros.

A mathematician is afraid of flying

A mathematician is afraid of flying due to the small risk of a terrorist attack. So, on every flight he takes a bomb with his hand luggage. "The probability of having a bomb on a plane is very low", he reason, "and the probability of having two bombs on the same plane is virtually zero."

Is your normal probability plot approximately linear?

Cause you can distribute your sample over me

My house was raided and the cops carted off books on algebra, trigonometry and calculus, plus dice and other probability-demo stuff.

They said it was weapons of math instruction.

Statistician and bomb.

Found this on Raymond Smullyan's book "To Mock a Mockingbird". Hope you might like it.


There is the story of
a statistician who told a friend that he never took airplanes: "I
have computed the probability that there will be a bomb on
the plane," he explained, "and although this p...

Around 26 out of 100 people fail at probability theory

that's over 60%

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