UPJOKE

### Probability theory

Probability theory is probably the least understood area by the general population (except for certain gamblers). As a simple example, consider the History Professor friend of mine who was scared of flying and asked me one day: "What is the probability that there will be a bomb on an airplane?" I re...

### While testing a newly installed computer, an Army officer asked the machine to predict the probability of World War Three and promptly received a one-word answer: "Yes."

Annoyed at the lack of detail, the officer
barked, "Yes, what?" Instantly the machine
replied, "Yes, sir!"

### Controlling probability is the best super power

And I think there's a big chance that you'll agree

### My classmate didn't study for our test in mathematics about probability.

"I'll take my chances", he said.

### A class is learning about probability..

Teacher: If I toss a penny, what are the chances that I get a head?

Girl: For a penny? Not very bright.

### What do the Royal Family and Probability math equations have in common?

They are not important and nobody cares about them.

### A mathematician is afraid of flying

A mathematician is afraid of flying due to the small risk of a terrorist attack. So, on every flight he takes a bomb with his hand luggage. "The probability of having a bomb on a plane is very low", he reason, "and the probability of having two bombs on the same plane is virtually zero."

### What has the probability of one in five million?

Blonde: But there's no 1 in 5000000. Only a five and six zeros.

### Is your normal probability plot approximately linear?

Cause you can distribute your sample over me

### My house was raided and the cops carted off books on algebra, trigonometry and calculus, plus dice and other probability-demo stuff.

They said it was weapons of math instruction.

### Statistician and bomb.

Found this on Raymond Smullyan's book "To Mock a Mockingbird". Hope you might like it.

There is the story of
a statistician who told a friend that he never took airplanes: "I
have computed the probability that there will be a bomb on
the plane," he explained, "and although this p...

that's over 60%