This joke *may* contain profanity. 🤔

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar

The first mathematician orders a beer

The second orders half a beer

"I don't serve half-beers" the bartender replies

"Excuse me?" Asks mathematician #2

"What kind of bar serves half-beers?" The barten...

The first mathematician orders a beer

The second orders half a beer

"I don't serve half-beers" the bartender replies

"Excuse me?" Asks mathematician #2

"What kind of bar serves half-beers?" The barten...

This joke *may* contain profanity. 🤔

Vector quantitties

You can't cross a scalar with a vector!

i j k

This joke *may* contain profanity. 🤔

A Love Story

Micro was a real time user and a dedicated multi-user. His broad-band protocol made it easy for him to interface with numerous input/output devices, even if it meant time sharing.

One evening Micro arrived home just as the sun was crashing. He had parked his Motorola ...

Micro was a real time user and a dedicated multi-user. His broad-band protocol made it easy for him to interface with numerous input/output devices, even if it meant time sharing.

One evening Micro arrived home just as the sun was crashing. He had parked his Motorola ...

Cause no matter how close I look you're still perfect.

But I really should stop procrasternating.

I am skewed for the finals.

This is because scalars aren't vectors.

A mountain climber is climbing a mountain from the bottom along it’s only path. A mosquito starts at the top and follows the path downwards. Where do the two meet?

Nowhere. You can’t cross a scalar and a vector.

Nowhere. You can’t cross a scalar and a vector.

but vector geometry is where I draw the line.

And magnitude. We're all vectors.

This joke *may* contain profanity. 🤔

A village elder is brought a mosquito caught from a swarm. The townsfolks fear it may bring disease. So the elder says - "I will take this mosquito, and I will determine the aspects of the disease that it may bring." The elder rips up the mosquito into pieces. He places each one into a tiny square d...

The Wright brothers must have been vectors, because two of them made a plane.

Several years ago, a group of artistic polymaths decided to mathematically represent different styles of painting.

Each of the polymaths was a leading figure in a different field of mathematics, and each pursued and studied a different style of painting. Together, they decided that if they co...

Each of the polymaths was a leading figure in a different field of mathematics, and each pursued and studied a different style of painting. Together, they decided that if they co...

Because the history is written by the vector.

Tomorrow, I'll bring big brother Vector! He will teach them...

Hopefully it can show me how to integrate my natural log into someone else's vector space

A mountain climber goes out drinking with his friends.

He starts complaining "My wife called me annoying last night! She compared me to a mosquito." His buddy responded. "You know what they say. You can't cross a vector with a scalar."

He starts complaining "My wife called me annoying last night! She compared me to a mosquito." His buddy responded. "You know what they say. You can't cross a vector with a scalar."

At a party vectors V and W see vector V+W poking in his head and asking: "Can I join?". "Yeah.", V and W reply; "It's a closed party..."

I should have known. All the sines were there. He had a hard time functioning, and he would go off on tangents all the time. Such a shame - he was in his prime, his life was on a great vector. He wanted to write the next 'Matrix'. But now, he can't differentiate between what is real and what is imag...

Me: Well, it has to do with the original animal vectors and -

Wife: No! For bird flu you need tweetment and for swine flu you need oinkment.

Wife: No! For bird flu you need tweetment and for swine flu you need oinkment.

This joke *may* contain profanity. 🤔

Engineering pickup lines:

Hey babe, what's your factor of safety?

Can I use my sigma to find your tau max?

What frequency does it take to make your O-me-ga

How big does your period need to be to reduce our frequency

How about you and I go have a couple moment

**... **

Hey babe, what's your factor of safety?

Can I use my sigma to find your tau max?

What frequency does it take to make your O-me-ga

How big does your period need to be to reduce our frequency

How about you and I go have a couple moment

A conservative vector field.

[answer](http://image.shutterstock.com/display_pic_with_logo/947257/308963732/stock-vector-creative-vector-inspirational-poster-with-motivational-quote-think-positive-motivational-design-308963732.jpg)

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