I really don’t like thinking about gravity.

It always brings me down.

Am i gravity?

Bc im letting everyone down.

Did you hear about the activist who fought against gravity?

They started an uprising.

Guess you can call me mr. Anti-gravity

Cause no one ever falls for me.

Scientists recently discovered that there is no such thing as gravity

The Earth just sucks

Why was the man who discovered gravity respected?

Because Isaac Newton(s) of things!

"Gravity: noun. 1. The invisible force that pulls objects to celestial bodies."

"That's very nice, Elphaba. But I said try _defying_ gravity."

I taught my son about gravity by throwing pasta and sauce at the ceiling

He didn't get it at first, but it wasn't long before the penne dropped.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you know that the Earth’s gravity increases a bit on Easter Sunday?

It’s cuz there’s a lot more mass.

Gravity and I have a horrible relationship.

It’s always trying to keep me down.

I was reading a book on anti gravity last night.

I found it quite difficult to put down.

Is gravity real?

or does the earth just suck

Gravity is one of the fundamental forces in the Universe. What do you get when you remove it?


I was going to tell you a gravity joke

....but no one was gonna fall for it.

Death and Gravity are having coffee together.

Death is complaining to Gravity after a long hard week. He tells Gravity " Man, I am so sick of my job. EVERYBODY hates, nobody is ever glad to see me. I just can't take it anymore"

Gravity listens sympathetically to Death venting and replies "Dude, I know just how you feel. I'm always bringi...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was pooping when gravity shifted to the left

Shit went sideways

Women are the only creatures to defy the laws of gravity.

The heavier they are, the easier they are to pick up

I got kicked out of astronaut training for joking around too much in the underwater simulation course.

They said I didn’t appreciate the gravity of the situation.

My son just can't understand the gravity of a situation.

So i grounded him,
Maybe it will make him more down to earth.

Why can't a bicycle stand on its own?

The short answer is technically speaking it can stand on its own but it is very unstable. In order to keep something standing you need the center of gravity of the object to be within its points of contact with the ground. With only 2 points of contact with the ground, that space is a very small pla...

I tuck my knees to my chest and lean forward until gravity takes me.

That's just how I roll.

Everything was great until gravity was invented.

Things went downhill after that.

Isaac Newton: "Gravity exists"

*drops mic*

Gravity is just a social construct

Invented by a Christian to keep you down

A friend of mine thinks that Isaac Newton is joke and was never born.

I told him that Newton was very important for inventing the laws of motion and calculus (which I wish he never had). He still didn't get how important he is in history. I guess he didn't understand the gravity of the situation.

I'm so sick of gravity.

It always brings me down

Not to make light of the gravity of the situation,

But this quarantine has really brought my wife and I closer together.

We have both gained so much weight that we are increasingly attracted to one another, by gravity.

What can you always depend on, but will always let you down?


The Cechnyan mob kidnaps two Czechs, two Irishmen, two Englishmen, and two Americans.

A ransom note is sent to each respective countries' embassy, demanding the equivalent of $25 million,or they will kill the hostages.

After two weeks, they receive responses from each embassy.

The English, Irish, and American embassy all state that they do not negotiate with terrorist...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why are there no churches in space?

Without gravity there can be no mass.

I just told my younger brother a bad joke about gravity.

He is still falling for it.

I found Einstein's original research notes about anti-gravity.

I just couldn't put them down.

My wife is like gravity

Always there, and constantly bringing me down in life

“He died of natural causes”

“Dude, you pushed him off of the roof”

“Gravity is natural”

At one time a falling Apple lead to the Theory of Gravity

Now it's just a broken iPhone

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I wonder what it's like to have sex in zero gravity...

Or even in regular gravity.

I have a friend that does maintenance work on television transmitter towers, some of which are more than 1000' in height. He doesn't always wear a safety harness when climbing.

I don't think he grasps the gravity of the situation.

I've become much more attractive during the pandemic

My gravity increased.

I've been very depressed about gravity lately.

It's really weighing me down.

I got caught cheating on my physics exam. Furious, my professor said to me "I hope you understand the gravity of the situation".

But if I had known that, I wouldn't be in this situation in the first place.

The new image shows the black hole having bright ring formed as photons from light gets drawn in the intense gravity around a black hole that is 6.5 billion times more massive than the Sun…

..but it still doesn't suck more than your Mom.

I wanted to tell a gravity joke

But I guess it'll just have to weight

Person 1: For the last time, it's not "reverse gravity", it's called BUOYANCY

Person 2: *shrugs* Whatever floats your boat

All the anti gravity experiments I conducted gave my son terminal cancer

It was incredibly hard to put him down.

When asked about the greatest of all his amazing accomplishments, Sir Isaac Newton cited the discovery of gravity.

He said it helped him keep his feet on the ground.

A planet is a celestial body that is in orbit around a star, has sufficient gravity to make itself round and has cleared the neighbourhood around its orbit.

That’s why Pluto isn't a planet but your mum is.

I tried telling a joke in zero gravity.

It didn't go down well.

Interviewer: what inspired your theory on gravity?

Newton: well, I fell off the toil—...............
Agent [leans into the mic]: an apple fell on his head...

I’m in love with gravity

I’ve fallen for it many times

Gravity is a conspiracy theory.

It's just another way for The Man to keep you down.

I think I just disproved gravity!

This research is going to have Issac Newton floating in his grave.

Complaint from 3017: These children's long-term zero gravity soccer leagues are raising weak adults.

Every kid gets atrophy.

Why does Gravity like fat people?

Because they are the most attractive

If gravity were a person...

He'd be pretty down to earth.

If you aren't impressed with the picture of the first Black Hole

you clearly don't understand the gravity of the situation

Gravity gets me down sometimes.

But at least it keeps me grounded.

Gravity, the greatest jokester

Always trying to pull down your pants

Have you read the book about anti-gravity?

Much like that one book, Old Yeller, it's pretty damn hard to put down.

Man, I sure love gravity

It's really down to earth

Marriage defies gravity...

It's the only instance where a ring can block a hole...

I really resent gravity

It's held me down my whole life.

Gravity is just a myth.

We all know it's the white man keeping us down.

Cannot get milk for my coffee, in space.

Once their Crew Dragon craft made it to safely to space, and they were headed toward the International Space Station, Bob Behnken completed some reports and then decided to have a cup of coffee. Well, a pouch of coffee anyway. Still, it was coffee, and thanks to SpaceX's desire to make space trave...

In the 60s, the Russians and the Americans were competing for the best space program

They both were determined to prove they had the greatest minds, the greatest technology. In one example, the Americans spent almost a million USD just to invent a no-gravity pen. They put their best minds to work, and came up with putting a small CO2 pressure cartridge into the back of the ink tub...

I simply love my anti gravity machine....

It never lets me down.

What do you call a group of dolphins that move according to the moons gravity?

A Tide pod

Gravity takes the fun out of everything

Then again it makes most of us more grounded.

Why is gravity the weakest of the 4 fundamental forces?

Because it doesn't even lift.

I want to thank gravity...

For keeping me down to Earth

Gravity makes a terrible friend.

It's always holding you down.

Gravity is a harsh mistress...

*... but she has reasonable rates!*

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