I really don’t like thinking about gravity.

It always brings me down.

Am i gravity?

Bc im letting everyone down.

I taught my son about gravity by throwing pasta and sauce at the ceiling

He didn't get it at first, but it wasn't long before the penne dropped.

Did you hear about the activist who fought against gravity?

They started an uprising.

Why was the man who discovered gravity respected?

Because Isaac Newton(s) of things!

Gravity and I have a horrible relationship.

It’s always trying to keep me down.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.

Mum wants me to stop, but it's impossible to put down.

Guess you can call me mr. Anti-gravity

Cause no one ever falls for me.

"Gravity: noun. 1. The invisible force that pulls objects to celestial bodies."

"That's very nice, Elphaba. But I said try _defying_ gravity."

Gravity is just a social construct

Invented by a Christian to keep you down

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you know that the Earth’s gravity increases a bit on Easter Sunday?

It’s cuz there’s a lot more mass.

I’m reading this book about anti-gravity,

I can’t put it down!

Gravity is one of the most fundamental forces in the universe.

But if you remove it, you get gravy.

What does gravity have that you don't?

Mass appeal.

My son just can't understand the gravity of a situation.

So i grounded him,
Maybe it will make him more down to earth.

Scientists recently discovered that there is no such thing as gravity

The Earth just sucks

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was pooping when gravity shifted to the left

Shit went sideways

“He died of natural causes”

“Dude, you pushed him off of the roof”

“Gravity is natural”

I tuck my knees to my chest and lean forward until gravity takes me.

That's just how I roll.

I found Einstein's original research notes about anti-gravity.

I just couldn't put them down.

Not to make light of the gravity of the situation,

But this quarantine has really brought my wife and I closer together.

We have both gained so much weight that we are increasingly attracted to one another, by gravity.


It always seems to let us down.

I just told my younger brother a bad joke about gravity.

He is still falling for it.

I've been very depressed about gravity lately.

It's really weighing me down.

I'm so sick of gravity.

It always brings me down

Yo momma, she so criminal

She don't even obey the law of gravity.

Everything was great until gravity was invented.

Things went downhill after that.

Cannot get milk for my coffee, in space.

Once their Crew Dragon craft made it to safely to space, and they were headed toward the International Space Station, Bob Behnken completed some reports and then decided to have a cup of coffee. Well, a pouch of coffee anyway. Still, it was coffee, and thanks to SpaceX's desire to make space trave...

Book Jokes.

I read a thriller in Braille.
You can really feel the suspense.

I’m reading a book about Anti-Gravity.
It’s impossible to put down.

I read a book about submarine construction.
It’s riveting.

I’m reading a book about adhesives.
It has me glued to my seat .


The new image shows the black hole having bright ring formed as photons from light gets drawn in the intense gravity around a black hole that is 6.5 billion times more massive than the Sun…

..but it still doesn't suck more than your Mom.

When asked about the greatest of all his amazing accomplishments, Sir Isaac Newton cited the discovery of gravity.

He said it helped him keep his feet on the ground.

You know, I think gravity is into me

She is always trying to pull my pants down

I got caught cheating on my physics exam. Furious, my professor said to me "I hope you understand the gravity of the situation".

But if I had known that, I wouldn't be in this situation in the first place.

In the 60s, the Russians and the Americans were competing for the best space program

They both were determined to prove they had the greatest minds, the greatest technology. In one example, the Americans spent almost a million USD just to invent a no-gravity pen. They put their best minds to work, and came up with putting a small CO2 pressure cartridge into the back of the ink tub...

Why did people hate talking to Newton?

Because he approached each conversation with too much gravity

I wanted to tell a gravity joke

But I guess it'll just have to weight

I tried telling a joke in zero gravity.

It didn't go down well.

All the anti gravity experiments I conducted gave my son terminal cancer

It was incredibly hard to put him down.

Ya'll seem to like puns, so:

• Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!

• How does Moses make tea? Hebrews it.

• England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

• I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.

• They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a typo.

• I changed my iPod’s name to Tita...

At one time a falling Apple lead to the Theory of Gravity

Now it's just a broken iPhone

Women are the only creatures to defy the laws of gravity.

The heavier they are, the easier they are to pick up

Interviewer: what inspired your theory on gravity?

Newton: well, I fell off the toil—...............
Agent [leans into the mic]: an apple fell on his head...

My ex still misses me.

I mean, her aim's not getting any better?

I just started gravity falls.

Why can you always depend on Anti-Gravity?

Because it will never let you down.

Person 1: For the last time, it's not "reverse gravity", it's called BUOYANCY

Person 2: *shrugs* Whatever floats your boat

Gravity is a conspiracy theory.

It's just another way for The Man to keep you down.

Two astrophysicists discussing black holes

One Tells the other: "We need to understand the gravity of this matter"

My wife is like gravity

Always there, and constantly bringing me down in life

I’m in love with gravity

I’ve fallen for it many times

During these hard times, you know what’s got me down the most?


This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I wonder what it's like to have sex in zero gravity...

Or even in regular gravity.

School is good

A child walks in the restaurant and asks for tea gravy. The waiter says the don't have it in the menu and the kid pouted and went away.
After this happened 4-5 times, the kid started crying in the 6th restaurant asking for tea gravy again.
When the manager said they have never ...

I think I just disproved gravity!

This research is going to have Issac Newton floating in his grave.

A flat earther snuck into a physics seminar

While the speaker was giving speech on recent development about gravity, flat earther shouted

" Why do you even think that gravity is real? "

Speaker dropped the mic.

If you aren't impressed with the picture of the first Black Hole

you clearly don't understand the gravity of the situation

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

a list of puns!

Here's a list of puns I've been collecting:

How do you throw a space party? You planet.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

Nope. Unintended.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention, but everyone was blow away by the leaf blower.

A scarecrow says,...

Why does Gravity like fat people?

Because they are the most attractive

A planet is a celestial body that is in orbit around a star, has sufficient gravity to make itself round and has cleared the neighbourhood around its orbit.

That’s why Pluto isn't a planet but your mum is.

My parents' Christmas gift for me.

When Christmas day arrived, I was so excited to open my gifts that I woke up before my alarm. I went down stairs and opened a thin, rectangular box. It was a book! The title read, Anti-gravity. I read that book the whole day as I couldn't put it down.

Complaint from 3017: These children's long-term zero gravity soccer leagues are raising weak adults.

Every kid gets atrophy.

Gravity gets me down sometimes.

But at least it keeps me grounded.

I'm horribly depressed guys.

All this gravity is really bringing me down.


Where would we be without it?

Have you read the book about anti-gravity?

Much like that one book, Old Yeller, it's pretty damn hard to put down.

I really resent gravity

It's held me down my whole life.

Man, I sure love gravity

It's really down to earth

What do you call a group of dolphins that move according to the moons gravity?

A Tide pod

If gravity were a person...

He'd be pretty down to earth.

Gravity is just a myth.

We all know it's the white man keeping us down.

I simply love my anti gravity machine....

It never lets me down.

Given Isaac Newton's links to the slave trade,

perhaps we ought to abolish gravity.

It would be a weight off his shoulders.

Marriage defies gravity...

It's the only instance where a ring can block a hole...

Gravity takes the fun out of everything

Then again it makes most of us more grounded.

The sad truth

When you get your cake day at 2 am and can't post until and everyone after don believe you the sad truth

But anyways a friend asked me what i was reading and i said to him
Me: a anti gravity book and i think it's so intresting and impossible to put down
He didn't talk to me one week aft...

How do we know that Eminem is from the Midwest?

Ope there goes gravity

I don't trip,

I just periodically check to make sure gravity still works.

Why is gravity the weakest of the 4 fundamental forces?

Because it doesn't even lift.

I want to thank gravity...

For keeping me down to Earth

Gravity is a harsh mistress...

*... but she has reasonable rates!*

Hey girl are you the force of gravity?

Because I'd rate you a -9.8

I'd like to dedicate this award to gravity.

You've always kept me down to earth.

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