I really don’t like thinking about gravity.

It always brings me down.

Am i gravity?

Bc im letting everyone down.

Guess you can call me mr. Anti-gravity

Cause no one ever falls for me.

Did you hear about the activist who fought against gravity?

They started an uprising.

I was reading a book on anti gravity last night.

I found it quite difficult to put down.

Gravity and I have a horrible relationship.

It’s always trying to keep me down.

I was going to make a joke about gravity,

but I eventually dropped it.

Gravity is really important as a fundamental force of nature.

But if you get rid of it you get gravy.

Everything was great until gravity was invented.

Things went downhill after that.

What does gravity have that you don't?

Mass appeal.

What happens if we increased earth’s gravity?

Sadly, everyone will be so down

Yo mama so fat...

Yo mama so fat she has her own gravity

But she so ugly people are still repelled by her

I was going to tell you a gravity joke

....but no one was gonna fall for it.

Women are the only creatures to defy the laws of gravity.

The heavier they are, the easier they are to pick up.

My son just can't understand the gravity of a situation.

So i grounded him,
Maybe it will make him more down to earth.

I wanted to tell a gravity joke

But I guess it'll just have to weight

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I wonder what it's like to have sex in zero gravity...

Or even in regular gravity.

Isaac Newton: "Gravity exists"

*drops mic*

Death and Gravity are having coffee together.

Death is complaining to Gravity after a long hard week. He tells Gravity " Man, I am so sick of my job. EVERYBODY hates, nobody is ever glad to see me. I just can't take it anymore"

Gravity listens sympathetically to Death venting and replies "Dude, I know just how you feel. I'm always bringi...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was pooping when gravity shifted to the left

Shit went sideways

I tuck my knees to my chest and lean forward until gravity takes me.

That's just how I roll.

I taught my son about gravity by throwing pasta and sauce at the ceiling

He didn't get it at first, but it wasn't long before the penne dropped.

I got caught cheating on my physics exam. Furious, my professor said to me "I hope you understand the gravity of the situation".

But if I had known that, I wouldn't be in this situation in the first place.

If we had a civilization on the moon and someone committed murder, would the punishment still be the same?

I mean, I would think the gravity of the situation would be way less, ya know?

I'm so sick of gravity.

It always brings me down


It always seems to let us down.

I've been very depressed about gravity lately.

It's really weighing me down.

I just told my younger brother a bad joke about gravity.

He is still falling for it.

Is gravity real?

or does the earth just suck

"Gravity: noun. 1. The invisible force that pulls objects to celestial bodies."

"That's very nice, Elphaba. But I said try _defying_ gravity."

Gravity is just a social construct

Invented by a Christian to keep you down

I got kicked out of astronaut training for joking around too much in the underwater simulation course.

They said I didn’t appreciate the gravity of the situation.

I found Einstein's original research notes about anti-gravity.

I just couldn't put them down.

Why can you always depend on Anti-Gravity?

Because it will never let you down.

Why can't a bicycle stand on its own?

The short answer is technically speaking it can stand on its own but it is very unstable. In order to keep something standing you need the center of gravity of the object to be within its points of contact with the ground. With only 2 points of contact with the ground, that space is a very small pla...

At one time a falling Apple lead to the Theory of Gravity

Now it's just a broken iPhone

Scientists recently discovered that there's no such thing as gravity...

This planet just sucks.

The new image shows the black hole having bright ring formed as photons from light gets drawn in the intense gravity around a black hole that is 6.5 billion times more massive than the Sun…

..but it still doesn't suck more than your Mom.

A friend of mine thinks that Isaac Newton is joke and was never born.

I told him that Newton was very important for inventing the laws of motion and calculus (which I wish he never had). He still didn't get how important he is in history. I guess he didn't understand the gravity of the situation.

All the anti gravity experiments I conducted gave my son terminal cancer

It was incredibly hard to put him down.

A planet is a celestial body that is in orbit around a star, has sufficient gravity to make itself round and has cleared the neighbourhood around its orbit.

That’s why Pluto isn't a planet but your mum is.


Where would we be without it?

Person 1: For the last time, it's not "reverse gravity", it's called BUOYANCY

Person 2: *shrugs* Whatever floats your boat

I’m in love with gravity

I’ve fallen for it many times

I tried telling a joke in zero gravity.

It didn't go down well.

Interviewer: what inspired your theory on gravity?

Newton: well, I fell off the toil—...............
Agent [leans into the mic]: an apple fell on his head...

Complaint from 3017: These children's long-term zero gravity soccer leagues are raising weak adults.

Every kid gets atrophy.

A poem, with a title at the end

Darkness, silence, cool serene morning
Daybreak not yet piercing the shades
Crackling, popping, cut through the nothing
Shoulders tense, poised for responding
Electricity in fibers, pushing up against gravity
Hands sinking inward, but head rising lightly
Head tossed sideways and ey...

Gravity is a conspiracy theory.

It's just another way for The Man to keep you down.

I think I just disproved gravity!

This research is going to have Issac Newton floating in his grave.

I have a friend that does maintenance work on television transmitter towers, some of which are more than 1000' in height. He doesn't always wear a safety harness when climbing.

I don't think he grasps the gravity of the situation.

The Cechnyan mob kidnaps two Czechs, two Irishmen, two Englishmen, and two Americans.

A ransom note is sent to each respective countries' embassy, demanding the equivalent of $25 million,or they will kill the hostages.

After two weeks, they receive responses from each embassy.

The English, Irish, and American embassy all state that they do not negotiate with terrorist...

Gravity gets me down sometimes.

But at least it keeps me grounded.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why are there no churches in space?

Without gravity there can be no mass.

If gravity were a person...

He'd be pretty down to earth.

Have you read the book about anti-gravity?

Much like that one book, Old Yeller, it's pretty damn hard to put down.

Gravity is just a myth.

We all know it's the white man keeping us down.

Man, I sure love gravity

It's really down to earth

If you aren't impressed with the picture of the first Black Hole

you clearly don't understand the gravity of the situation

Marriage defies gravity...

It's the only instance where a ring can block a hole...

I've become much more attractive during the pandemic

My gravity increased.

I simply love my anti gravity machine....

It never lets me down.

Gravity, the greatest jokester

Always trying to pull down your pants

I really resent gravity

It's held me down my whole life.

My science teacher taught us about gravity today.

It was such a heavy subject to take...

What do you call a group of dolphins that move according to the moons gravity?

A Tide pod

Gravity makes a terrible friend.

It's always holding you down.

Gravity takes the fun out of everything

Then again it makes most of us more grounded.

Why is gravity the weakest of the 4 fundamental forces?

Because it doesn't even lift.

I want to thank gravity...

For keeping me down to Earth

Gravity is a harsh mistress...

*... but she has reasonable rates!*

I'd like to dedicate this award to gravity.

You've always kept me down to earth.

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