Everything was great until gravity was invented.

Things went downhill after that.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What happened when gravity was first turned on?

Shit went down

When asked about the greatest of all his amazing accomplishments, Sir Isaac Newton cited the discovery of gravity.

He said it helped him keep his feet on the ground.

Did you hear about the ANTI-GRAVITY book ?

.. apparently it's hard to put down!

Women are the only creatures to defy the laws of gravity.

The heavier they are, the easier they are to pick up.

Interviewer: what inspired your theory on gravity?

Newton: well, I fell off the toil—...............
Agent [leans into the mic]: an apple fell on his head...

Gravity is such a disappointment.

It always lets me down.

Gravity is a conspiracy theory.

It's just another way for The Man to keep you down.

Today I Picked Up A New Book On Anti-Gravity

I can't seem to put it down.

The new image shows the black hole having bright ring formed as photons from light gets drawn in the intense gravity around a black hole that is 6.5 billion times more massive than the Sun…

..but it still doesn't suck more than your Mom.

Yo Mama so fat...

Your dad was attracted to her because of gravity.

I don't like gravity

It brings me down

What does gravity have that you don't?

Mass appeal.

I think I just disproved gravity!

This research is going to have Issac Newton floating in his grave.

Did you hear about the guy who fought against gravity?

He started an uprising.

I tried telling a joke in zero gravity.

It didn't go down well.

All the anti gravity experiments I conducted gave my son terminal cancer

It was incredibly hard to put him down.

I have finally found something I must be in love with.

GRAVITY! I fall for it all the time.

Person 1: For the last time, it's not "reverse gravity", it's called BUOYANCY

Person 2: *shrugs* Whatever floats your boat

Why can you always depend on Anti-Gravity?

Because it will never let you down.

I got caught cheating on my physics exam. Furious, my professor said to me "I hope you understand the gravity of the situation".

But if I had known that, I wouldn't be in this situation in the first place.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Nazism, as you know, is a lot like gravity...

All it takes is a little putsch.

At one time a falling Apple lead to the Theory of Gravity

Now it's just a broken iPhone

Why does Gravity like fat people?

Because they are the most attractive

I’m in love with gravity

I’ve fallen for it many times

I blame gravity for my education

It's always pulling me down...

Gravity, the greatest jokester

Always trying to pull down your pants

I wanted to tell a gravity joke

But I guess it'll just have to weight

Gravity gets me down sometimes.

But at least it keeps me grounded.

My wife is like gravity

Always there, and constantly bringing me down in life

A planet is a celestial body that is in orbit around a star, has sufficient gravity to make itself round and has cleared the neighbourhood around its orbit.

That’s why Pluto isn't a planet but your mum is.

What do you call a group of dolphins that move according to the moons gravity?

A Tide pod

I really resent gravity

It's held me down my whole life.

Gravity takes the fun out of everything

Then again it makes most of us more grounded.

Marriage defies gravity...

It's the only instance where a ring can block a hole...

Complaint from 3017: These children's long-term zero gravity soccer leagues are raising weak adults.

Every kid gets atrophy.


..is gonna be the downfall of earth.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I wonder what it's like to have sex in zero gravity...

Or even in regular gravity.

I simply love my anti gravity machine....

It never lets me down.


Where would we be without it?

Have you read the book about anti-gravity?

Much like that one book, Old Yeller, it's pretty damn hard to put down.

If you aren't impressed with the picture of the first Black Hole

you clearly don't understand the gravity of the situation

Man, I sure love gravity

It's really down to earth

If gravity were a person...

He'd be pretty down to earth.

Hey girl are you the force of gravity?

Because I'd rate you a -9.8

I want to thank gravity...

For keeping me down to Earth

Gravity is a harsh mistress...

*... but she has reasonable rates!*

Gravity is just a myth.

We all know it's the white man keeping us down.

I'd like to dedicate this award to gravity.

You've always kept me down to earth.

So everyone is appreciating Newton for inventing gravity...

...well, I don't. We could've all been flying now if it wasn't for that goddamn apple.

Despite constantly dropping the ball...

Gravity is pretty reliable

Did you hear about those new anti-gravity cars?

They really drive me up a wall!

A star walks into a black hole

But the star doesn't seem to be fazed.

The black hole says, "Sir, I don't think you understand the gravity of this situation."

Why is gravity the weakest of the 4 fundamental forces?

Because it doesn't even lift.

A physicist, engineer, and statistician go hunting...

After a long day of no luck, they are walking back dejectedly, rifles slung over their shoulders. Suddenly, they spot a deer in a clearing 150 feet away.

"I'll get him," the physicist says, doing some quick calculations and taking aim. BANG! The shot goes 10 feet long, but amazingly, the deer...

Gravity makes a terrible friend.

It's always holding you down.

I told my physics teacher I had a problem with gravity.

But he told me to drop it.

Gravity is such a bully...

It always brings us down.

If you're looking for something fun and exciting to do, why not try anti-gravity?

It never lets me down!

Why is gravity so weak?

Because it doesn't lift

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