I really don’t like thinking about gravity.

It always brings me down.

Am i gravity?

Bc im letting everyone down.

Guess you can call me mr. Anti-gravity

Cause no one ever falls for me.

Did you hear about the activist who fought against gravity?

They started an uprising.

I was reading a book on anti gravity last night.

I found it quite difficult to put down.

Gravity and I have a horrible relationship.

It’s always trying to keep me down.

Is gravity real?

or does the earth just suck

"Gravity: noun. 1. The invisible force that pulls objects to celestial bodies."

"That's very nice, Elphaba. But I said try _defying_ gravity."

I taught my son about gravity by throwing pasta and sauce at the ceiling

He didn't get it at first, but it wasn't long before the penne dropped.

Death and Gravity are having coffee together.

Death is complaining to Gravity after a long hard week. He tells Gravity " Man, I am so sick of my job. EVERYBODY hates, nobody is ever glad to see me. I just can't take it anymore"

Gravity listens sympathetically to Death venting and replies "Dude, I know just how you feel. I'm always bringi...

Everything was great until gravity was invented.

Things went downhill after that.

Scientists recently discovered that there's no such thing as gravity...

This planet just sucks.

Gravity is one of the most fundamental forces in the universe, but if you remove it, you get...


I was going to tell you a gravity joke

....but no one was gonna fall for it.

My son just can't understand the gravity of a situation.

So i grounded him,
Maybe it will make him more down to earth.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was pooping when gravity shifted to the left

Shit went sideways

I'm so sick of gravity.

It always brings me down

Not to make light of the gravity of the situation,

But this quarantine has really brought my wife and I closer together.

We have both gained so much weight that we are increasingly attracted to one another, by gravity.

I tuck my knees to my chest and lean forward until gravity takes me.

That's just how I roll.

Why can't a bicycle stand on its own?

The short answer is technically speaking it can stand on its own but it is very unstable. In order to keep something standing you need the center of gravity of the object to be within its points of contact with the ground. With only 2 points of contact with the ground, that space is a very small pla...

I was going to make a joke about gravity,

but I eventually dropped it.

Isaac Newton: "Gravity exists"

*drops mic*

If we had a civilization on the moon and someone committed murder, would the punishment still be the same?

I mean, I would think the gravity of the situation would be way less, ya know?

Women are the only creatures to defy the laws of gravity.

The heavier they are, the easier they are to pick up

I got kicked out of astronaut training for joking around too much in the underwater simulation course.

They said I didn’t appreciate the gravity of the situation.

I found Einstein's original research notes about anti-gravity.

I just couldn't put them down.


It always seems to let us down.

I got caught cheating on my physics exam. Furious, my professor said to me "I hope you understand the gravity of the situation".

But if I had known that, I wouldn't be in this situation in the first place.

I've been very depressed about gravity lately.

It's really weighing me down.

I just told my younger brother a bad joke about gravity.

He is still falling for it.

At one time a falling Apple lead to the Theory of Gravity

Now it's just a broken iPhone

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I wonder what it's like to have sex in zero gravity...

Or even in regular gravity.

Gravity is just a social construct

Invented by a Christian to keep you down

The Cechnyan mob kidnaps two Czechs, two Irishmen, two Englishmen, and two Americans.

A ransom note is sent to each respective countries' embassy, demanding the equivalent of $25 million,or they will kill the hostages.

After two weeks, they receive responses from each embassy.

The English, Irish, and American embassy all state that they do not negotiate with terrorist...

I wanted to tell a gravity joke

But I guess it'll just have to weight

The new image shows the black hole having bright ring formed as photons from light gets drawn in the intense gravity around a black hole that is 6.5 billion times more massive than the Sun…

..but it still doesn't suck more than your Mom.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why are there no churches in space?

Without gravity there can be no mass.

I have a friend that does maintenance work on television transmitter towers, some of which are more than 1000' in height. He doesn't always wear a safety harness when climbing.

I don't think he grasps the gravity of the situation.

All the anti gravity experiments I conducted gave my son terminal cancer

It was incredibly hard to put him down.

When asked about the greatest of all his amazing accomplishments, Sir Isaac Newton cited the discovery of gravity.

He said it helped him keep his feet on the ground.

“He died of natural causes”

“Dude, you pushed him off of the roof”

“Gravity is natural”

Person 1: For the last time, it's not "reverse gravity", it's called BUOYANCY

Person 2: *shrugs* Whatever floats your boat

I've become much more attractive during the pandemic

My gravity increased.

A planet is a celestial body that is in orbit around a star, has sufficient gravity to make itself round and has cleared the neighbourhood around its orbit.

That’s why Pluto isn't a planet but your mum is.

I tried telling a joke in zero gravity.

It didn't go down well.

Interviewer: what inspired your theory on gravity?

Newton: well, I fell off the toil—...............
Agent [leans into the mic]: an apple fell on his head...

Gravity is a conspiracy theory.

It's just another way for The Man to keep you down.

I think I just disproved gravity!

This research is going to have Issac Newton floating in his grave.

Complaint from 3017: These children's long-term zero gravity soccer leagues are raising weak adults.

Every kid gets atrophy.

Why does Gravity like fat people?

Because they are the most attractive

If gravity were a person...

He'd be pretty down to earth.

I’m in love with gravity

I’ve fallen for it many times

Why did the planets fall in love with the sun?

Because gravity attracts everything

If you aren't impressed with the picture of the first Black Hole

you clearly don't understand the gravity of the situation

Gravity gets me down sometimes.

But at least it keeps me grounded.

Have you read the book about anti-gravity?

Much like that one book, Old Yeller, it's pretty damn hard to put down.

Man, I sure love gravity

It's really down to earth

Marriage defies gravity...

It's the only instance where a ring can block a hole...

I simply love my anti gravity machine....

It never lets me down.

Gravity, the greatest jokester

Always trying to pull down your pants

I really resent gravity

It's held me down my whole life.

Gravity is just a myth.

We all know it's the white man keeping us down.

What do you call a group of dolphins that move according to the moons gravity?

A Tide pod

Gravity takes the fun out of everything

Then again it makes most of us more grounded.

Why is gravity the weakest of the 4 fundamental forces?

Because it doesn't even lift.

I want to thank gravity...

For keeping me down to Earth

Gravity is a harsh mistress...

*... but she has reasonable rates!*

Gravity makes a terrible friend.

It's always holding you down.

I'd like to dedicate this award to gravity.

You've always kept me down to earth.

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