Am i gravity?

Bc im letting everyone down.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity

I just can't put it down.

I really don’t like thinking about gravity.

It always brings me down.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What happened when gravity was first turned on?

Shit went down

I just told my younger brother a bad joke about gravity.

He is still falling for it.

Gravity is one of the most fundamental forces in the universe.

But if you remove it, you get gravy.

My relationship with gravity hasn't always been good.

We've had our ups, and downs.

In what season did Isaac Newton discover gravity?

Fall

Did you hear about the guy who fought against gravity?

He started an uprising.

Gravity...

It always seems to let us down.

I tuck my knees to my chest and lean forward until gravity takes me.

That's just how I roll.

Birds need gravity to swallow

but swallows don't need gravity to bird

I found Einstein's original research notes about anti-gravity.

I just couldn't put them down.

Interviewer: what inspired your theory on gravity?

Newton: well, I fell off the toil—...............
Agent [leans into the mic]: an apple fell on his head...

What does gravity have that you don't?

Mass appeal.

I've been very depressed about gravity lately.

It's really weighing me down.

When asked about the greatest of all his amazing accomplishments, Sir Isaac Newton cited the discovery of gravity.

He said it helped him keep his feet on the ground.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did Newton's penis say, after seeing a nude girl on the beach?

Fuck your law of gravity, I am going up.

The new image shows the black hole having bright ring formed as photons from light gets drawn in the intense gravity around a black hole that is 6.5 billion times more massive than the Sun…

..but it still doesn't suck more than your Mom.

Everything was great until gravity was invented.

Things went downhill after that.

I tried telling a joke in zero gravity.

It didn't go down well.

I don't like gravity

It brings me down

Isaac Newton would be spinning in his grave

But gravity won't let him

A star enters a black hole

The black hole turns around and says:

Sir, I don't think you understand the gravity of the situation.

Need something cool to say

Need something cool to say because you just slipped and fell?
“Yep, gravity still works!”

All the anti gravity experiments I conducted gave my son terminal cancer

It was incredibly hard to put him down.

I got caught cheating on my physics exam. Furious, my professor said to me "I hope you understand the gravity of the situation".

But if I had known that, I wouldn't be in this situation in the first place.

I’m in love with gravity

I’ve fallen for it many times

If the Earth is our mother...

then I bet our dad is gravity, because he keeps grounding us.

Women are the only creatures to defy the laws of gravity.

The heavier they are, the easier they are to pick up.

Gravity is a conspiracy theory.

It's just another way for The Man to keep you down.

Why can you always depend on Anti-Gravity?

Because it will never let you down.

I think I just disproved gravity!

This research is going to have Issac Newton floating in his grave.

I wanted to tell a gravity joke

But I guess it'll just have to weight

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Nazism, as you know, is a lot like gravity...

All it takes is a little putsch.

At one time a falling Apple lead to the Theory of Gravity

Now it's just a broken iPhone

Person 1: For the last time, it's not "reverse gravity", it's called BUOYANCY

Person 2: *shrugs* Whatever floats your boat

Why does Gravity like fat people?

Because they are the most attractive

My wife is like gravity

Always there, and constantly bringing me down in life

I tried to explain to my kids why the ball comes back down when they throw it up

But they don't understand the gravity of the situation

Gravity is just a plot made up by NASA...

To keep us down!

A planet is a celestial body that is in orbit around a star, has sufficient gravity to make itself round and has cleared the neighbourhood around its orbit.

That’s why Pluto isn't a planet but your mum is.

A guy tells me that black holes aren't frightening

But I don't think he understands the gravity of the situation here.

I blame gravity for my education

It's always pulling me down...

Gravity gets me down sometimes.

But at least it keeps me grounded.

Gravity, the greatest jokester

Always trying to pull down your pants

What did the doctor say to the physicist who had just been diagnosed?

"You really need to understand the gravity of the situation."

Complaint from 3017: These children's long-term zero gravity soccer leagues are raising weak adults.

Every kid gets atrophy.

What do you call a group of dolphins that move according to the moons gravity?

A Tide pod

I really resent gravity

It's held me down my whole life.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I wonder what it's like to have sex in zero gravity...

Or even in regular gravity.

Gravity...

Where would we be without it?

Marriage defies gravity...

It's the only instance where a ring can block a hole...

Gravity takes the fun out of everything

Then again it makes most of us more grounded.

Have you read the book about anti-gravity?

Much like that one book, Old Yeller, it's pretty damn hard to put down.

If gravity were a person...

He'd be pretty down to earth.

I simply love my anti gravity machine....

It never lets me down.

Man, I sure love gravity

It's really down to earth

I want to thank gravity...

For keeping me down to Earth

My science teacher taught us about gravity today.

It was such a heavy subject to take...

I got kicked out of astronaut training for joking around too much in the underwater simulation course.

They said I didn’t appreciate the gravity of the situation.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Put to sleep

So this inquisitive pan-dimensional space monster is out on vacation and decides to check out this little dive bar on Earth (in Detroit) that had some decent reviews on Yelp.

In order to do so he had to first take on a suitable corporal form adhering to local biological esthetics and so he c...

Suspect: I’m innocent! He died of natural causes.

Police: There was clear evidence that you pushed him off the roof.

Suspect: Well, gravity is natural.

Yo Mama so fat...

Your dad was attracted to her because of gravity.

A man walks into a bar

And orders a drink. Whilst drinking it, a massively scarred Asian dude stumbles in the bar.

"What happened?" The man asks as he downs his drink.

"There's a dragon 10km east from here." The Asian dude rasps before passing out.

So the Man gets on his bike and travels 10km east an...

Gravity is just a myth.

We all know it's the white man keeping us down.

Gravity is a harsh mistress...

*... but she has reasonable rates!*

Hey girl are you the force of gravity?

Because I'd rate you a -9.8

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Shut Up

A young bluebird was flying from tree to tree in the brisk autumn air when he heard his parents call. Upon arriving back to the nest they tell the young avian to prepare for the trip south.

The little bluebird stubbornly inquires why, to which papa bluebird replies with details of heavy and c...

So everyone is appreciating Newton for inventing gravity...

...well, I don't. We could've all been flying now if it wasn't for that goddamn apple.

Why is gravity the weakest of the 4 fundamental forces?

Because it doesn't even lift.

I'd like to dedicate this award to gravity.

You've always kept me down to earth.

Did you hear about those new anti-gravity cars?

They really drive me up a wall!

The Story of Apple

It was an apple that kicked Adam and Eve out of heaven. It was an apple that made Newton discover gravity, and since then everyone has to study it. Nowadays, it's an apple that we spend all of our money and time. So through the history whenever human being got f\*\*\*ed it was because of an apple!

Gravity makes a terrible friend.

It's always holding you down.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If Bruce Wayne was a millennial...

*after the well incident*

Thomas : Why do we fall, Bruce?

Bruce (mumbles): Running a billion dollar empire focused on science, don't know what fucking gravity is. Great!!

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.