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Diapers Jokes

Diapers

Why are baby’s diapers called loves, huggies, and pampers, while adult diapers are called depends?

Well that’s because when we’re babies our family will still pamper, love, and give us huggies after changing our diaper, but when we’re adults it depends on who’s in the will.

How are politicians like diapers?

They need to be changed often and for the same reason.

Do philosophers use diapers?

It depends.

I'm going to quit my job and market a line of active-adult diapers and underwear liners with a feline theme.

Gonna call them Puma Pants.

I just bought #1 baby diapers

However my newborn doesn't seem to care, and she also went number two on them.

Politicians are like diapers.

You should change them often and for the same reasons. - (not) Mark Twain

Why do blonde change her baby's diapers once in a week?

Because the package says "up to 10 kilos".

A man buys adult diapers

The clerk asks "are you one of those weirdos with a diaper fetish?" with a judgmental look on his face



The man says "no, I'm an Amazon warehouse employee."



The clerk says "Ah, I understand now."

Why do you put diapers on a baby?

To tie up loose ends

I began wearing adult diapers for 2 reasons:

Reason #1 and #2.

A man has his mother-in-law move in with him when she lost her job.

About a week later, he returns home from his job and finds her laying on the floor, unconscious. He calls 911, the ambulance comes and takes her off to the hospital.

He calls his wife and tells her she may have to cut her business trip short, but he'll keep her posted.

He gets to the ...

Joseph and Mary tried to throw out one of Jesus' diapers

But there was no room in the bin

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Changing diapers is the hardest part about having kids

You can't half ass it.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Bosses are like diapers...

Always on your ass and normally full of shit

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Never take advice from diapers

They're full of shit.

Where do people who need adult diapers live?

In continents.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I used to change adult diapers for a living...

But I don't deal with that shit anymore.

My new line of heavy duty adult diapers will be called pangaea pull-ups,

It's for the super-incontinent

Diapers are like guns...

You always have to assume they’re loaded.

Why do gardeners like to wear diapers?

In case they get soiled

My friend asked me, "What kind of adult diapers do they sell for Pennywise the Clown?"

It depends.

Why did the sailor bring diapers on shore leave?

He was worried about being in continent

Why do tectonic plates wear diapers?

Because they're in continents.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The young son asks the father what politics is

The young son asks the father what politics is. The father says, "Let's take our family, for example. I bring the money home, so we call me capitalism. Your mother manages the money, so we call her the government. We both look after your welfare almost exclusively, so you are the people. Our maid is...

What did Michael Sorrentino say when they asked him if he would be ok with wearing adult diapers on some of the new episodes of Jersey Shore?

It depends on The Situation.

Politicians are like diapers...

They're almost exclusively white

Ive been playing uno with my kids for 50 years now.

I finally dropped my reverse card and now they have to change my diapers.

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Johnny lives in a society...

Johnny asks his dad how a country runs. His dad thinks and replies, ‘Well, it’s like this. I earn the money in the house, so I’m the rich. Your mom takes care of running the home, so she is the government. The maid is the working class, and your baby brother is the future. And finally you Johnn...

A woman goes to the doctors complaining of stomach cramps...

A woman goes to the doctors complaining of stomach cramps.

She gets sent off for some test and comes back a week later.

"Well, I hope you're ready for endless sleepless nights of crying and changing dirty diapers!" the doc says.

"Wow, you mean I'm pregnant?" the woman replies t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The son said to his father " I don't understand politics dad ''

The father said " I'll give you an example. I bring money to the family, so I represent the upper class. Your mom uses the money on whatever necessary, she is the goverment. The maid who's doing the chores represents the working class. Your grandpa watches what's going on and assures everything is a...

A woman visits the doctor...

As she has some abdominal pains and suspects she may be pregnant. After her examination, the doctor comes out to see her: “Well, I hope you like changing nappies/diapers”.

She replies: “Oh my god am I pregnant, am I pregnant!?”

To which he responds: “No, you’ve got bowel cancer.”

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