It’s disgusting. They used to make COCA-Cola with REAL Cocaine! So you can probably guess what they used to make shamPOO with!

Yep, child labour.

I bought coconut shampoo the other day.

When I got home, I realized I didn't even have a coconut.

What do you call a shampoo shortage in Jamaica?

Dreadful.

I've just spotted the new Batman shampoo for sale.

Although I feel they're missing a real opportunity by not producing a conditioner Gordon.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The guests in my hotel are always stealing soaps, shower gels and shampoos from their rooms.

**Dirty bastards**!

I started a 100 subject survey on what shampoo women use...

Only got to the 3rd shower before the police arrested me unfortunately

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I asked 100 random women what's their favorite shampoo was...

99 replied with, "get the fuck out of my bathroom!!”

Ivermectin shampoo

Dead to the Shoulders

An emaciated man was found dead in his bathtub. The apparent cause of death was starvation.

Oddly, he still had enough food in his fridge, and no apparent mobility problems that would prevent him from getting to it. His relatives did not know of any mental problems either.

The best investigator in the city was called to the scene. She takes one look at the bathroom and asks the rela...

Singing in the shower is fun until you get shampoo in your mouth

then it turns into a soap opera.

I asked 15 women what shampoo they use.

They seem to all use 'get out of the girl's shower'.

I've been trained to apply something to my head after shampoo...

It's classical conditioning.

Did you hear Pantene recalled all of their women’s shampoo?

Biden said if elected he will personally sniff out this situation.



PS, before spamming my inbox I’m a Democrat that just likes a good joke.

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do NOT use shampoo as lube

It will completely fuck with your car

You can get Batman shampoo at walmart

But not conditioner Gordon :(

I've had enough of this shampoo

I want real poo

I accidentally used the dog's shampoo this morning

I feel like a good boy.

I have a skin disease called psoriasis

It really only flares up on my legs and feet and using dandruff shampoo helps clear it up or at least soften it. So I guess you could say I use head and shoulders for my knees and toes.

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What product is actually great even though it sounds like scammy shit?

Shampoo.

Give shampoo to your real friends.

And real poo to your sham friends.



(Repost, because it turns out, you can mess things up even before 2AM)

I went to the restroom to relieve myself but nothing came out...

It was a shampoo...

(I know where the door is)

A guy finds his dog with the neighbors pet rabbit in its mouth

The rabbit is dead and the guy panics. He takes the dirty, chewed-up rabbit into the house. He gives it a bath, blow-dries its fur, and puts it back into the cage at the neighbor's house, hoping they will think it died of natural causes.

A few days later, the neighbor asks the guy, "Did you h...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I like my shampoo how I like my sex

3 in 1

Last night someone broke into my house and stole all of my soap, bleach, and shampoo.

They made a clean getaway

Whats a cannibal's favorite type of shampoo?

Head and shoulders!

CATHOLIC SHAMPOO

While shopping in a food store, two nuns happened to pass by the beer cooler.
*
One nun said to the other, "Wouldn't a nice cool beer or two taste wonderful on a hot summer evening?"

The second nun answered "Indeed it would Sister, but I wouldn't feel comfortable buying beer as I am cer...

Slightly peeved that the makers of the shampoo "Head and Shoulders"...

…have not followed up with a bodywash called, "Knees and toes."

Why did the blonde go through a hole bottle of shampoo while taking a shower?

The directions said lather,rinse,repeat.

I've done a survey asking women what shampoo brand they used in shower.

99% of the respondents answered: "What are you doing here? Get out!"

I think my shampoo is making me fat...

...it says guaranteed to increase the Volume

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[putting the wrong type of shampoo on my enemy’s voodoo doll]

Enjoy a dry scalp you son of a bitch.

My local store organizes their shampoo aisle like Ajax.

Head and Shoulders above the rest.

Do not shampoo in the shower

I don't know why I didn't figure this out sooner.
I used shampoo in the shower and when we wash our hair the shampoo runs down our whole body.
Printed clearly on the shampoo label is the warning,

"For extra body and volume."

No wonder I have been gaining weight.
I got rid of s...

I interviewed some people about what shampoo brand they used.

To my surprise, all 10/10 of them uses "GET OUT OF MY BATHROOM"!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Soap for sister

Two men on a pilgrimage spend the night at a Nunnery. They take a shower across the hall. When they want to start they notice they forgot the soap and one of them quickly darts back to their room to get two little travel soaps. Just as he wants to cross the hallway two nuns walk by, thinking on his ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I bought a bottle of shampoo the other day, which promised to “increase volume”

What a load of shit, I poured half the bottle into my ear and if anything it did the opposite

A man an a boy walk into a barbershop

A man and a little boy entered a barbershop together. After the man received the full treatment - shave, shampoo, manicure, haircut, etc. - he placed the boy in the chair. "I'm going to buy a green tie to wear for the parade" he said. "I'll be back in a few minutes". When the boy's haircut was compl...

My friend is in advertising,lately he ask 10 women whats the worlds number 1 dandruff shampoo.10/10 answered

...HOW DID YOU GET INSIDE MY BATHROOM PERVERT!!!

Breaking News

Authorities uncover fraudulent claims from the makers of dandruff shampoo stating "This just scratches the surface!"

Why do geese use Head&Shoulders shampoo?

What’s good for the goose is good for dander

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

People keep telling me to use shampoo...

Fuck them, I'm going to keep on using real poo!

A blonde woman is in the shower and her husband shouts, "Did you find the shampoo?"

She replies, "Yes, but I'm not sure what to do. It says it's for dry hair and I just wet mine."

So i bought some of that Anti-stress shampoo.

Don't know why people like it so much, I drank the whole bottle, I feel worse if anything.

What kind of shampoo did Ozzy Osbourne get his kids?

No More Tears

If I ever die by being cut in half, i'd like my body to be made into shampoo.

Unfortunately, I can't name it 'head & shoulders' since it's already used.

What’s the hardest part of giving birth to a shampoo bottle?

Head and shoulders

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did Adolf Hitler say when he got shampoo in his eye?

Ahhh I can Nazi!!!

If you only use shampoo ...

Then you love your hair unconditionally

Figured out my million dollar idea. It’s a shampoo specifically for men’s genitalia. (nsfw)

I’m calling it Head And Boulders!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Employee: We need to stop testing our products on animals.

Employee: We need to stop testing our products on animals.
Boss: Why? Shampoo companies do it all the time.
Employee: Yeah but we make dildos.

A blonde is throwing out an entire trash bag of empty shampoo bottles.

Her neighbor approaches her and says, "wow. that's a lot of shampoo bottles." She says, "of course! I go through one bottle a day. Just following directions." The neighbor, perplexed, says, "what do you mean? Following directions?" The blonde says, "well it says to 'Rinse, Lather, And Repeat' but it...

My dog told me he lost 50% of his dandruff with his new shampoo but we was upset because now his fur was more

ruff

I heard Rockstar are gonna start making dry shampoo

It's called Bed Head Redemption

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

TIL that my Head & Shoulders shampoo's proven HydraZinc formula fights dandruff from the first wash, removing visible flakes and residues, relieving dryness and tight scalp, and leaving my hair smelling great.

I also learned not to forget my phone when I take a shit

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How much do Cockneys pay for shampoo?

Pantene

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I wash my hair with fake turds

Some call it shampoo

What Dandruff Shampoo Does Guy Fieri Use?

Frosted Flakes.

Thought of this on the ride home and I am still laughing. Sorry for the bad joke, I needed to share.

An animal rights advocate got really upset with me after I told them that I wash my dog with my own shampoo instead of pet shampoo...

...I reassured her that it had already been tested on animals.

I'm really glad they invented shampoo.

imagine having to wash your hair with real poo?

I don't usually brag about my shampoo

But it really is head and shoulders above everything else

I'm going to be filing a complaint with the shampoo company...

My girlfriend recently dumped me and this "No Tears" stuff isn't working at all.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I once had to pretend that i was taking a shit, so I dropped a bottle of soap in the toilet

It was a shampoo.

What's it called when you water down your shampoo to get that last little bit out of the bottom?

Shampee.

my public pool's showers has two different soap dispensers one is white and the other soap is transparent

i asked my life guard about the difference between them

he said that the white one is shampoo for hair

and the transparent is for the body.

me being bald i asked him: so i use one soap?

he was silent for a second while he looked at my body me wearing only my swimming shor...

A boy is coming home from a party ...

On the way home , he has to go past a graveyard .But since he didn't want to miss the game on the TV , he goes through the graveyard which has a shortcut to his house .

The graveyard was covered with thick fog which was so much that he couldn't see the ground in front of him . Eventually, it...

They say that baby shampoo is tear free,

But I still cried when my uncle used it on me as lube.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Thieves broke into my house and stole everything but the hand soap and half a bottle of shampoo

Those dirty bastards

I bought some rose-scented shampoo the other day..

..it smells better than real poo.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How much does a cockney spend on shampoo?

Paan ten.

"Mommy mommy in school the kids call me shampoo"

"Come on Johnson no more tears"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Where do people keep their shampoo?

In their shambutt.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's another word for fake shit?

Shampoo.

Why do astronomers put beef in their shampoo?

for meatier showers.

I've decided to make an all-natural shampoo made from roots found in Africa.

I'll call it Ethnic Cleansing.

Don't use Cops to protect the Capitol building!

Use barbers and hairdressers, the threat of a shave, shampoo and haircut should have most of them running for the hills!

Quick question

How much no more tears shampoo do you have to rub in a baby's eyes before it stops crying?

Why does jesus have greasy hair?

Because the shampoo falls through the holes in his hands

I once read the directions on the back of my shampoo bottle. It said to wash, rinse, and repeat.

They found me passed out in the shower four days later.

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