Did you hear about the bombing at the garment factory?

Apparently there were over 100 casual tees.

The world's leading expert on wet clothing walks into a record shop.

The expert asks the assistant "Do you have the latest edition of 'Wet Garments' Acoustics'? I'm sure your store just released it yesterday."

"Of course," the assistant replies. "Would you like to listen to it before you buy it?"

"Why, thank you," says the expert, and puts on a pair of...

OC: A nun from Texas moved to a convent

She loved serving the Lord but didn't like the uniform her order required. She put up with it, but every evening when she retired to her quarters she'd change out of her clothes and put on her big ten gallon hat from home.

One morning, she overslept and frantically scrambled to make it out to...

One day, an old man was hammering a large, wooden stake into his garden.

Unfortunately, that same day, the captain of the Navy was walking past. When the stake caught his eye (despite it being very basic and unattractive), he decided he wanted to own it. So, he waited for the old man to leave, and promptly pulled it out and carried it away to his submarine, where he foun...

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It’s time to redecorate the nunnery and Mother Superior is feeling overwhelmed with supervising all the various contractors. Wanting to save some money, she tasks the 2 newest novitiates with painting the cloister...

The young nuns are inexperienced painters, and they paint slowly and carefully, concerned about getting paint on their habits.

Mother Superior comes to check on them and is dismayed to find by the end of the day they’ve barely painted one wall.

“You’ll need to paint faster ladies, w...

Childhood Diseases

As the couple gets into bed for the first time the man tells the woman, “I've had some illnesses when I was young that has left me with some slight physical deformities, so please don't laugh.” He pulls down his trousers and his knees are severely deformed. He looks at the woman and says, “I had kne...

A guy goes into the confessional box after years being away from the Church.

He pulls aside the curtain, enters and sits himself down.
There’s a fully equipped bar with crystal glasses, the best vestry wine, Guinness on tap, cigars and liqueur chocolates nearby, and on the wall a fine photographic display of various women who appear to have misplaced their garments.
...

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Once upon a time, lived a noble king...

He had a son, which grew up and became a handsome prince.
One day, the king decided to find a suitable bride for his boy. He ordered his subjects to prepare a magnificent
feast and to invite princesses from all over the world.

More than 150 princesses attended the feast. The number was ...

Satan's Jacket

Belive it or not, back in his day, Satan got around. On one particular crazy night, he woke up next to an angelic chick. Unfortunately, over the course of the night the temperature had dropped drastically, and she hadn't thought to bring a jacket. Now, Satan might be the devil, but he wasn't a douch...

Three Pregnant Ladies

Three pregnant women were waiting in the doctor’s waiting room for an antenatal check-up and were all knitting garments for their respective babies.



Suddenly the first expectant mother stops knitting, checks her watch, pulls a bottle of pills from her handbag and takes one.

<...

My girlfriend said she wanted to be treat like a princess.

So I married her off to some bloke in expensive garments and now these French blokes keep calling me a 'Mark E' or something.

True story but potential to be a joke (my friends experience this morning on the train)

Woman jumps on the train this morning with a veil type hood covering her hair and her face where you see nothing but the eyes (I dont know religious garments but didn't really look like a religious garment to me). When she gets on, the guy next to her leans over and calmly whispers "You know we live...

My stepson

A couple of years ago I was in a relationship with a girl with a son. She had had this kid with a previous partner. Now this partner was a really abusive guy, he used to beat her up, both emotionally and physically. He sent her to hospital on a couple of occasions, and on the most brutal of his rage...

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Marcus and Yacov, two Hasidic Jews,

went to Pincus the tailor for new suits.

"Pincus," Yacov said, "the last time we came to you for new suits, we told you we wanted black suits. The suits you made were not black. They were sort of dark grey maybe, but not black, We need new suits, and this time we want black suits, from the da...

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Why do Chinese warriors die so easily in battle?

No matter how much protective garments they wear, there's still a chink in the armor.

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French, Italian and Russian are talking about their sex lives

French says: "When I get down with my woman, I can get her satisfied. I just slowly undress her latest Parisian fashion garments, and softly whisper of all the dirty things I will do to her. When I get going, she screams all night."

Italian replies: "That's nothing. When my lady and I start t...

A girl walks in to the dry cleaners

A girl walks in to the dry cleaners and places a garment on the counter. "I'll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick up my dress".

The clerk was somewhat preoccupied and didn't quite catch what she said, so he asked "Come again?".

"No. This time it's mayonnaise"

A man went to a shop to buy a bra for his wife..

A man went to a garment shop to buy bra for his wife. The salesgirl asked" Sir, you want capitalistic, socialistic or democratic bra ?"
The man, as any husbands only knew to unhook, nothing more.....
" What are they ? He asked.
Sales girl - Sir...
Capitalistic suppresses the masses.
...

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Once upon a time, in an Eastern Land

There were two men, one of British and the other of Asian descent, whom would frequently quarrel over a breath-taking Japanese lady; she was a perfect specimen of a woman, with a slender frame and deep, blue eyes. An exquisitely sweet aroma would follow her in the summer, and she was widely known to...

A Nun Pun [x-post from /r/Catholicism]

Fifth grade teacher Sister Agnes was leading her parochial school class in an arts and crafts activity; tie-dying t-shirts. A couple of unruly students were getting a bit reckless with their bottles of dye when they accidentally spilled several ounces of pink pigment down the back of Sister Agnes....

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Odd Signs From England

Sign in a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES:PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN
THE LIGHT GOES OUT

Sign in a London department store:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS

In an office:
WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING
IT BACK OR FURTHER STE...

Interest Development

Mrs. Smith pulled Mrs. Jones out of earshot of the porch, where Mrs. Jones' lovely young daughter, Linda, sat.

"It is really none of my business," whispered Mrs. Smith, "but have you noticed what your daughter is doing?"

"Why, no. Is she up to anything special?"

Mrs. Smith leane...

A man is on a business trip...

and decides to buy his wife some new lingerie. A saleswoman greets him as he enters an expensive lingerie store, and asks him how she can help. Then man replies, "I'm looking for something made with very sheer fabric".

The saleswoman leaves for a minute and returns with a semi-transparent pi...